Surviving Extended Winter Weather

Even in Canada, we have our limits. Continued snowfalls and sub-zero weather can even get on our polite dispositions. FYI, Ole Man Winter - I'm looking at you - capeesh?? You and me, long walk, short pier.

PS - You will be walking further than me....

That said, despite the tulips covered in three feet of snow in the last couple of weeks of March, we have to find ways to cope.

Here's a few thoughts:

1) Burn an effigy of Ole Man Winter, while playing The Beach Boys greatest hits on a boom box, full blast. If you choose to wear shorts and a tank top while doing so, consider leaving a freshly heated Hot Pocket in your boxers..

2) Rope enough Canadian Geese to a tree so that their flatulence will raise the temperature at least a few blessed degrees...

3) Dance like no one is watching. It's very likely with the ski wear, scarves and frozen glasses, no one will be...

4) Quarantine yourself indoors, return to work in June. Except for Manitoba and Minnesota, where you will have to wait for the August thaw.

5) Visualize that you are in a warmer climate, like Pluto, or Siberia.

6) Invent trendy, fashionable snow clothes, that make this cursed abundance desirable instead of the relentless nuisance that it really is.

7) Marry A penguin.

8) Positive Affirmations: "I Can Regrow Those Frostbitten Toes", "I'm Warm, I'm Happy, Now I'm Going To Stop Crying"...

9) Huddle in groups - great way to meet new people, but consider introducing ourself first!

10) Keep your hands in your pants. We males do this by instinct anyway, and it sure has proven effective over the years...

Later