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Monday, June 30, 2014

My Chocolate Rant

Why is chocolate so darn good? How is it even legal for chocolate makers to create so many tasty concoctions that I am powerless to resist?

Why do chocolate bunnies give me those come-hither looks, looks that practically BEG me to bite their ears off???

How is it that M & M's have legs and appear to be free-thinking in their commercials, but are inactive and passive when you open up a package? They're not gonna get away from consumption Hershey - with THAT sort of self-defence mechanism!!

Chocolate fountains - who thought THAT was a good idea? Sure, you can cover strawberries or pineapple, but why not MORE chocolate?? COVERED IN CHOCOLATE!!!!!

Hershey - I'm looking at you! Knock it off with the delicious candies already.

Good grief... Why am I ranting about chocolate at breakfast time???? Could be my CHOCOLATE ECLAIR!!!


Sugar high..gotta calm down....

Sweet mother of cocoa...

Focus, man....


Sunday, June 29, 2014

A Little Birdie Told Me...

"Tweet Tweet Tweet" "Chirp"

I frankly have no idea what the hell that means...


Saturday, June 28, 2014

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken...)






Wut evil devil haz afflickted this poor, proud poultry??

Turned ta wood, an placed upon a shelf!!



Ah needs ta find a magician, or a sorcerer ta reduce this tragic sitchuayshun....

But first, mebbe a beer ta steddy mah nerves...

Cluck fer now!!! 

Friday, June 27, 2014


Speaking of which, has anyone heard from Emeril lately??


Thursday, June 26, 2014

Barbecuing A Chicken

1) Distract chicken by pointing off to the opposite direction of his field of vision.

2) Bonk chicken over head, hard enough to ensure he is unconscious.

3) Eviscerate, whilst wondering why you didn't just buy chicken parts at the supermarket instead...

4) Coat in BBQ sauce.

5) Grill.

6) Enjoy.

7) Reconcile with process by concluding that the chicken was headed in this direction regardless, so not really as cruel as it all sounds...

8) Suck it up man, it was a chicken! Dry your eyes and move on!!

9) The service for the bones and beak was lovely - I'm sure you have  more than atoned for what you did to the poor little fella...

10) Have you considered barbecuing a zucchini as you transition into becoming a vegetarian?


Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Lucky Charms Leprechaun Reveals Stretch of Bad Luck

The Daily Peeper has run a piece recently on how the Lucky Charms leprechaun has had to hide from the general public several bad investments, a hip replacement, and a short-lived  awkward decision to pawn his pot of gold.

Things have turned back around, and the little fella is now whistling a happy tune once again, swinging his shillelagh as he chuckles merrily along down the sidewalk.

This has been a Useless News Update.


Tuesday, June 24, 2014

(It Was, Briefly) The End Of The World As We Know It!!!

Man, just a few hours without internet, and you wonder how our caveman ancestors ever managed to make it through evolution without wi-fi...

We returned from a brief trip to visit family late last night, and this morning tried to communicate with the outside world. First, no new emails overnight. Then, no internet to determine if we had been invaded by aliens and had missed the alerts.

Finally, no phone service! Dear Internet - how about you work like you're supposed to! I'm too frail for this sort of disruption...

Driving Mrs. That Dan Guy to work, I was able to connect with wi-fi and/or wireless outside of our neighbourhood, and like Pavlov salivating over a bell, we had our beloved internet once again!

Maybe it was his dog, but really, the point is that after hearing emails and Facebook posts dinging on my smartphone, I was finally able to breath again.

No, I actually did salivate, truth be told...

At any rate, now back online here, but I have to go do some running around. I will have to depend on my phone to tether me to reality.

Or at least the cyber version...


It's gonna be OK....

Later!! (I hope...)

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Keurig Coffe Makers

...kinda look like that last hole at the mini-putt course, where you have to make the golf ball hop up into the hole and see if it rolls down into one of the big score zones.

Where's my putter??


Saturday, June 21, 2014

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken...)


Serious humidity here this mornin'!

Wut tha cluck!!


I gotta iron out this problem, pronto!

Cluck fer now.....

Friday, June 20, 2014

Friday, The Noblest Of All Days.

There is really no other day like Friday, which brings with it two of the best days of the week - Saturday & Sunday.

Certainly not cursed Monday, which brings one back to work and has endless DAYS before the return of another weekend.

Not Tuesday, for sure. Tuesday just means you have survived Monday, but you are still DAYS away from the weekend.

Wednesday is getting better, but it's still no Friday. Even if Hump Day was reflective of something other than feeling like a camel trying to tap dance in a chorus line...

Thursday? The worst! Almost Friday, but not. And there's still another FULL day of work before the weekend.

So,  there is really no other day like Friday, which brings with it two of the best days of the week - Saturday & Sunday.

Happy Friday!

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Ant Farms Failing To Make Dent In Economy

Ant farms have been popular for decades, but recent reports indicate that they do absolutely nothing to contribute to the overall growth of the economy.

That is due mainly to the obvious consideration that ants aren't really raising crops on their farms.

Also complicating matters is that many people pay exterminators to REMOVE ants, when they get too close to their homes, dismantling farms not contained in clear plexiglass displays.

Next, we'll examine the lack of impact flea circuses have on their competitors.


Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Dr Oz Ain't The Only One Giving Questionable Weight Loss Advice!

As devastated as I am that following Dr. Oz's advice these past few months may have led to me NOT losing hundreds of pounds (sheesh - blueberries and pineapples, thanks for stuffing my gullet with fresh fruit, Oz!!), I also have recently suggested methods that may not stand up to scrutiny. Or common sense.

This ran earlier in my REM column (for non-savvy internetties, please click on where it says "This" back at the start of this paragraph.


Just don't employ...


Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

But it would be far better if they could be raised to tell the truth when they're awake. Nobody likes a lying dog, idiom or not...


Monday, June 16, 2014

Talkin' With: Director Mark Bellamy for "Avenue Q"

Had a great sit-down recently with Calgary director Mark Bellamy, whose handiwork I caught in the recent Storybook Theatre production of "Shrek The Musical".

He's next on tap for "Avenue Q" at Stage West Calgary, and here's some links for what we had to discuss.

1) Calgary Herald Blog - the video links, as well as a newspaper style recap.

2) YouTube - the quickest, easiest site for viewing the interview, I suppose one could argue...

3) My podcast site - download, or just watch from the comfort of anywhere you may be :-)



Sunday, June 15, 2014

Weekend's Almost Over :-(

Although on the plus side, that means the rain will clear, and the gale force winds will calm down.

Sure saving a fortune on barbecue propane this year!


Saturday, June 14, 2014

Chicken Scratch

(Posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken...)

Sentimental Saturdays

Around this time back in June of 2009 Charlie was doing some preparation work for the upcoming Calgary Stampede.

Here's what he was up to back then...

Cluck fer now!

Friday, June 13, 2014

And So It Begins...


Meant to say "sew" it begins - I'm hemming a pair of pants...

Hey, my first official Calgary Herald blog today may look familiar, but there's new stuff coming soon!

Read it here!


Thursday, June 12, 2014

My REM column today - Being Part of a 25 Year Journey...

Today's column in Real Estate magazine (REM) that's just gone live online isn't my typical monthly (real estate) humour piece.

I do reflect therein on having my national column running for the past 14 years, in this wonderful resource for Canadian Realtors. And anyone else that can view it anywhere in the world online the past few years...

Click here to give it a read.

In other news, I am just about to start my very own Calgary Herald blog, which will allow me more opportunities to review and reflect on items closer to home here in Calgary. It will be the new home for my theatre and concert reviews, as well as interviews and other features as I develop my audience in that space.

Along with the new blog, I'm setting up a Facebook author/writer page (simply added to my own personal one), so that people can "Like" and connect there rather than having to friend me. That's also how The Calgary Herald allows for feedback, so figured I had better create all this at the same time.

The only downside is that it is hosted on Wordpress, which I despise, but I am now going to have to learn it all over again, after pulling the pin a few years back when I tried it the first time.

It's a brave new world, friends - however silliness and other such stuff will continue on in this space, so don't go anywhere!!

Thanks, and enjoy that anniversary column...


Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

It's Time, Burger Prince!

The times they are a-changing, it has been said before - possibly by Homer Simpson? I don't know that for sure, but he has been spouting off for decades now, it could have been him...

Regardless, whoever did say it knew what they were talking about. I understand even enduring dynasties such as royal families are having to revisit how long kings & queens can stay on their thrones, before abdicating in favour of their children.

So, good news with that thought process for Burger Prince, who has waited decades himself to rise to the role of King. Granted, all he really inherits is how much ketchup and onions to put on Whoppers, but still - it's all in the title...better to be king than one in waiting.

How will this affect Dairy Queen? Is there a Dairy Princess patiently biding her time in the wings, dreaming of the day she can advise on the looping curly-cues that grace ice cream cones?

In the music world, Prince has changed his name several times, but never to King - maybe now?

The times, they are a-changing - who will YOU be hailing at a coming coronation??


Monday, June 09, 2014

Storybook Theatre: "Shrek The Musical"

Storybook Theatre
"Shrek The Musical"

The Monday Morning "Before-Noon" Theatre Review:

Storybook Theatre's production of 

"Shrek The Musical"

The photo above is just a slightly selfish walk down Memory Lane for me - I was in New York while the 12-month Broadway run of "Shrek" was still going strong. I ended up turning right and heading into the Ed Sullivan Theatre instead that day - so what good fortune to finally catch up with this charming crowd-pleaser last night here at home!

Storybook Theatre's presentation just confirms for me the depth of the talent we have on Calgary stages at any given time. Child or adult, the audience last night was robust in their approval of the great job all the actors and creatives did with this theatrical homage to the Mike Myers films that became instant classics from the first one on.

First off, kudos to costume and stage design, which helped maintain the illusion of animation with live actors - aided by some background animation of sorts with stars and the moon. As well as a brief nod to a variety of minor characters including a cow jumping over the moon, a dish running away with a spoon, a tease of Disney's "Lion King" - and even Puss In Boots...

Director Mark Bellamy has not only a vast story to tell in this play, but also a large cast of active actors to maneuver onstage, which he make appear as smooth as a princess's complexion - no surprise given his extensive credentials. He has some able assistance in that cast traffic challenge from choreography Angela Woodard, another one here with a wealth of experience to bring to her role. 

Vocally, the large cast works extremely well in the ensemble pieces, and in their solo efforts. As for the stars, well - this production as I mentioned at the start benefits from some deeply talented singers.

Jeremy Walker as Shrek raises the roof several times, on his own and with Fiona (Jamie Robinson) in one particular number that is unlike any other musical duet that I'm aware of - a love song with belching and flatulence? A huge hit with the kids, and those of us that have yet to actually grow up...

Donkey (Tenaj Williams) gets to rip up the stage as well, and again has a unique duet - with a dragon. 
What can you say? This is like the films, a blend of a large number of fairy tale characters, and in the case of the play there are also fun references/pokes at other famous Broadway musicals.  

Short-changed only by the nature of his character, but hardly in his performance, Christopher Willott has the challenge of singing and dancing while on his knees as Lord Farquaad (I'm not revealing any secret telling you this), and evokes a load of laughs in that effort. 

And then there are the puppeteers, bringing life to the aforementioned dragon, and the foul-mouthed Gingy. There's the younger Shreks and Fionas, as well as Pinocchio and the rest of the Fairytale Creatures - if you've seen the movies, you'll recognize the characters in this musical for sure. 

But time is running out - Shrek The Musical ends June 14th, so check out Storybook Theatre for ticket info - their site indicates many of the performances are already sold out, so I'd advise you to make haste...

Incidentally, the playbill indicates that director Mark Bellamy's next project is "Avenue Q" for Stage West Calgary, which is where I caught up with him at the time for "The 39 Steps". I've also chatted before with Storybook Theatre's Artistic Director JP Thibodeau there (he is currently serving additionally as Assistant Director/Set & Light Designer for this production of "Shrek"), so you can catch up with those interviews below.

Another walk down Memory Lane...



Sunday, June 08, 2014

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken...)

C'mon Clarence - hurry up an take tha pikcher!

Ah don want tha hoomans here ta see me in mah tootoo!!


An, ah'm ONLY doin' this ta help yer hairbrained pals with their fund-raisin ballet production - ah gits ya needed sum star power tah pull this off...


Hey, ah kinda look like Marilyn Monroe, in that wind grate photo - oh my!


Dang it - ah heer tha floor creakin' upstairs!!!



Charlie out - a heer!!!

Saturday, June 07, 2014

Cappuccino Musical Theatre - "Into The Woods"

Cappuccino Musical Theatre
“Into The Woods”

by Stephen Sondheim James Lapine

The Studio at Vertigo Theatre

The Saturday Morning 
Before-Noon” Theatre Review: 

Cappuccino Musical Theatre’s production of Stephen Sondheim & James Lapine’s 

Into The Woods

Funny. About two weeks ago, I was expecting to be sitting in excellent seats, hearing Broadway legend Bernadette Peters bring certain career highlights to life. That show was suddenly cancelled, due to poor tickets sales.

Then I received a request to attend Cappuccino Musical Theatre’s current production of “Into The Woods”, and I was indeed able to hear music from that Tony-winning play. After the curtain came up last night, I believe the feeling was unanimous in the almost sold-out theatre - what a wonderful job!

As a piece of musical theatre, “Into The Woods” brings an un-Disney take on fairy tale characters you will recognize right away, and haunting songs like the beautiful “No One Is Alone”, and “Children Will Listen”. There’s plenty of comedy in this play about choices and heartfelt wishes, but the dark side that director Tory Doctor has chosen to focus on also notes the consequences - be careful what you wish for, it may very well come true…

On a simple yet perfect set for this particular production, a large cast of extremely talented singers and actors make the two acts fly by, bringing you completely into their fairy tale world, and the dangerous woods around them. The three actors alone that became trees, spirits and occasionally a cow gracefully blended into that set to nice effect.

On Broadway, Bernadette Peters played the role of the Witch, and Joanna Gleason (daughter of TV’s original “Let’s Make A Deal” host Monty Hall”) won a Tony for her portrayal of the baker’s wife. Cappuccino Musical Theatre has these roles well in hand and then some with a pair of powerhouses, Heather Spearman and Shandra McQueen. Spearman brings an appropriate amount of Peters to the Witch, along with a healthy dose of the late madcap Madeline Kahn - and her vocal performances are (like the rest of the cast) perfect. 

McQueen is another perfect casting choice here - she can sing and zing her way through every scene, but here stage presence is what makes the baker’s wife come to life and believable. A little dorky, a little feisty, a whole lot determined. 

Frankly, you’d be hard-pressed to find fault or flaw here. Cinderella (Naomi Derksen), Little Red Riding Hood (Shelby Leiding) and Jack of the beanstalk (Andrew Fraser) each shine, as well as all the other characters that surround them. As the baker, Ryan Wagner has many opportunities to carry robust melodies, and tender moments as well.

With a cast as large as you find in this play, I’m unfortunately not going to be able to comment on every member, but I do have to squeeze in a comment about the vocals of Allie Higgins-Pompu as Rapunzel - not a large part, but what a powerhouse! 

Well, and her prince along with Cinderella’s (Andreas Zimmerman, and Doug Keeling, also a charismatic if not ill-fated wolf - both a hoot in their duet “Agony”). "Woods" has loads of fun with the characters, and the stereotypes of not only the fairy tale time, but the modern times this shifts somewhat into.     

Hey, I’m running out of space here. If you are looking for a great night of musical theatre, you owe it to yourself to try finding tickets for this charming, thought-provoking play.

You can see pictures and get all the details from Cappuccino Musical Theatre’s website. Click on “Now Playing” to see what an amazing job they did with the costumes!


I sat down with director Tory Doctor before this run began. You can find my podcast interview here, or download it for free in iTunes (thatdanguy’s Podcast). 

It’s also available from my YouTube channel.

“Into The Woods” runs at The Studio in Vertigo Theatre until June 14, 2014.


Friday, June 06, 2014

Thursday, June 05, 2014

Flawtography #020 - Craig Ferguson

Flawtography, #020

TV's "Craig Ferguson"

A few years back, Mrs. That Dan Guy and I took in a Canadian appearance of Craig Ferguson, doing his stand-up act live here in Calgary.

For better pictures, check out my review.

Otherwise, you can certainly get a flavour for how he looked by my picture posted above - energetic, effusive, and apparently elusive to my focus skills...

It was a real highlight for us to see him live, and even to be able to capture what is likely to become a classic photo as time goes by.

As long as forensic developers can do something to make it recognizable...


Wednesday, June 04, 2014

Summer Greenery

Ahh, summer (or some reasonable facsimile) is seemingly upon us.

You have to love how everything turns green, and plants spring to life.

Well, everywhere except our house...

Green Thumb of Doom


Tuesday, June 03, 2014

My Brush With Going Slightly Viral!

Twitter sends these weekly email summary updates on how you've done over the course of the week - I got the one posted above a day or two ago.

Imagine my surprise at discovering that a silly Tweet I sent out during a concert went crazy, grabbing 26, 400 views!

I had some idea, based on how many Favourites and re-Tweets I was getting afterwards, but I had no clue it was getting so much traffic.

Unlike my review of the concert, which is sitting around 40 views so far. Go figure!

And, as you can see, Cee Lo Green retweeted it as well. Which is why I got so much attention -  NOT because of my brilliant comment :-)

Hey, that's 26, 360 more people than ever that are looking at what I post, even if it is briefly.

I'll take that as a win!!


Monday, June 02, 2014

Vancouver In N Out

What a fantastic (albeit super-short) trip to Vancouver this past weekend!

We went out to see Lionel Richie, and hoped to spend a couple of hours with family. We ended up having two full days of GREAT visits, and got out and about with said family to see a few sights - including the charming waterfront town where ABC's "Once Upon A Time" does some filming - the Storybrooke signs were a dead giveaway.

So, a bit exhausted this morning as Mrs. That Dan Guy gets ready to go back to work, and I will have to wait about an hour to hit the hammock as I drive her in and make the return trip home. Then, some serious suntanning and personal relaxing time for this guy!

Oh wait - she reads this....

Uhh, right back to the coal mine myself, Honey!

Funny story - anybody remember that old Bobby Goldsboro song "Honey". It was not about a dog, as some people were led to believe...

Hee Heee Heee!!


Sunday, June 01, 2014

Back To Reality

After a whirlwind, barely-over-48-hours trip to Vancouver, we are packing up this morning to fly back to Calgary. So, so sad.

Perhaps if we lock ourselves in our room....

Also, hoping airport security won't notice these salmon in my pocket....