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Saturday, April 30, 2011

Chicken Scratch

(posted by dapper weekend guest blogger, Charlie Chicken…)

Howdy hoomans!

Ole Charlie here taday, pree-parin’ ta head out ta sum kinda “crockpot” party. If I wuz a mean-spirited bird, I’d think that might have sumthin’ ta do with tha upcomin’ Canadian election…or is that “crackpot”???


It sounds like it might be sum kinda cookin’ lessons. I’m supposed ta bring a bag a potatoes, an some sliced carrots. I got a call lass nite, and the gist of it wuz that I had won sum kinda contest – I don even remember enterin’ it!!


Well, I’m shur I can find some spuds aroun’ here, and pick up carrots on tha way if I hafta. Thas also why I’m all gussied up – I told the feller I’d be there with bells on!


Hey, I think it quit snowin’ outside! Not bad fer late April in Canada – might even be able to tuck away tha mukluks if this weather keeps up. Time ta get my short pants in fer dry cleanin’!!

Almost makes a bird wanna tweet from the treetops. Hey! Maybe I should start tweetin’??

Sumthin’ ta think about, after this crockpot thingie tonite…

Cluck fer now!!

Friday, April 29, 2011

I’m sorry, Calgary…

This is all my fault, I will admit.

My car was washed recently. I had an oil change and service a couple of days ago, and since then, it has rained, sleeted (a new word, run with it…), and now it is snowing as profusely as if we are in the middle of December. I’m not kidding, as the freshly-washed car was rolling out of the service bay, it literally clouded over, and started to rain. Then it rained some more, turned to sleet, and now we are covered once again in a blanket of white.

What’s so bad about a dirty car anyway? Next time, it can stay that way until we sell it…

Hey, by the way, I attach herein a gateway to an unexpected cornucopia of bonus material – a link to my latest column, which really is real estate-related this time. But if you’ve ever stopped at a real estate kiosk at your local shopping mall, you may still get a smile from some of the situations outlined:

Chow for now!!!

Thursday, April 28, 2011

The Royal Wedding (Or Some Other Fairytale Union…)

Most often, I miss the mark by a country mile. Once in awhile though, I am actually ahead of the curve, like back in 2003 when this little bit of silliness was part of my book “Nonsense & Stuff”.

In honour of the upcoming Royal Wedding, here’s another storybook romance:

Somewhat Slightly Backwards…

            And they lived happily ever after,

Well, as happily as one might expect….

United in a moment of evil most foul, the Prince and Princess truly believed love could prevail. 

In Macadamia, mere days ago, there had been a grand ceremony, uniting the pair in matrimony, while the guests cheered in harmony.

The two kings and their queens beamed with delight, as they gleefully made plans for the newly-emptied rooms in their respective castles.

A week went by.

The Princess, barely past her sixteenth birthday, quickly grew to dislike the Prince’s habit of playing with his bow and arrow every day, and cavorting through the woods with his friends until well past dusk.

There were also issues of stockings lying on the floor, just outside the royal hamper.

The Prince, mere days over the crest of his seventeenth birthday, started to grow disenchanted with his bride. Until the evening of their wedding, he had always been able to partake of the royal throne-room at any time (they shared a modest, single bath castle). Now, he was often greeted by a locked door, the scent of lavender bubble bath indicating a very, very, very long wait.

Exhausted from his grueling schedule of frolicking and archery, he fell asleep most nights before his bride even lifted the sheets on her side of the Royal bed.

 One night, in their shiny yet modest castle, the Prince began to doubt his commitment. After all, would not any boy have rescued a maiden, had she fallen ill from the tainted fruit of a sorceress? That didn’t mean his life was over, did it? There may be other maidens, also under magical spells, and who would free them, to live full, well-rounded lives?

The Princess, in her wing of the bedchambers, looked dolefully up at the moon. What had possessed her to disobey her father’s warning; never to take a gift of fruit from a cackling hag dressed in black? Had she not learned at the feet of her own mother the price of joining in marriage with fools?

She could have been all that, and a bag of vacuumed-packed potato chippings, yet she felt…somehow not.

Plans began to hatch in the chill night air.

The Prince plotted a hunting accident. A friend would return from the forest with a bloodied sleeve, and the Prince would away, never to return.

The Princess felt it should appear that roving thieves had broken in, pillaged the castle, and stolen away with her, a single satin slipper to remain, perched on the windowsill for the lady-in-waiting to report back to the Prince. Glancing one last time over their bedroom, she hesitated, returned to her bedside nightstand, and took the magnificent pen her husband had given her on their honeymoon, with the beautiful inscription, Howard Johnson, Call Toll-Free For Reservations.

Unbeknownst, and where else save a fairy tale might a narrator be able to use unbeknownst, both the Prince and the Princess had hastened to the same sleepy township, and yes, even the same inn, to hide out during their mutual deceptions. 

That morning, when the Prince came down for his complimentary continental breakfast, he walked right past his bride, as she sat buttering a warm blueberry muffin.

 He gulped, she gasped, and the innkeeper poured an emergency slug of 25 year-old brandy.

The Prince joined the Princess at her table, and felt that honesty might be the best policy. They spoke of fears, claustrophobia, and concerns of premature co-habitation. Laughing, they realized both had made errors. They shared a Grande Double Mocha-Latte, joined hands and walked along the cobblestone street of the village.

The Prince furthered his position when he jumped to the rescue of a choking stray cat, extricating an enormous hairball. The Princess glowed, like never before.

They returned to the castle, where the Prince agreed to cavort only three times a week, and the Princess agreed to bubble-bathe while he was out in the woods. All was well, and the future held many little princes and princesses, with prosperity for all in Macadamia.

After all, these things have a way of working out, as they usually did.

 Once upon a time….

-performed live as a sketch by the Whatever Comedy Troupe, Penticton BC, 2002.

© Dan St.Yves 2003

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

I’m still on the e-mail list for a popular rock radio station in Winnipeg, even though Mrs. That Dan Guy and I haven’t lived there for years. Maybe I should scribble “remove from mailing list” on my bucket list…

Anyway, their latest e-mail indicated an upcoming “classic rock” concert. Bear in mind, when I first started attending live concerts, I saw a lot of new up-and-comers, like ZZ Top, Heart, The Doobie Brothers, and Pat Benatar. Just to name a small handful…

So, who is this classic rock act coming soon to Winnipeg? The Tragically Hip. From the 1980’s. Egads, the real classic rock era is now relegated to Lawrence Welk, old-timers status. Sheesh! I better make sure I get those feet on my walker polished up, so as not to scrape too much of the sidewalk off when I go to the pharmacy to pick up more Metamucil.

Getting older blows…bubbles! Ah-one-a, Ah-two-ah....

Chow for now.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

On today’s “Gilligan’s Island”, the Professor walks a bit further than anyone else has before, and discovers that the “island” is just a coastline of western Florida. Enjoys breakfast at Denny’s before alerting the rest of his fellow castaways.

Chow for now…

Monday, April 25, 2011

Chicken Scratch

(posted by the twice-bumped weekend guest blogger, never known for his patience, Charlie Chicken…)

Bee-lated Happy Eatser, dear readers – at least any readers that even REMEMBER ME!!!!


Yeah, one cluckin’ event, an ole Charlie is sent inta orbit, ta be returned whenever the mood strikes. No, no – no bother worryin’ about a poor ole chicken…



Well, I had planned a live broadcast frum tha ann-yuel “Eatser Race A Tha Headless Hares” – probably how Eatser gets its name in tha first place. If ya ever see a chocolate rabbit with its ears by the end a Eatser weekend, somehow they musta evaded the hungry jaws a choco-lo-holic hoomans!


In this still shot, taken duren tha race, young hotshot racer Herbie is well on his way ta victory. Until he wuz unceremoniously snatched from the race track, and had his haunches chewed off. Lagging runner Benny “The Gold Zipper” Bunny didn’t fare much better. I haven’t seem either uv them since the weekend…

Well, guess I better make ma way back thru the coop, until next Saturday – when I’m hopin’ Banjo Boy don’t have ta review a episode a “Golden Girls” on late-nite TV…

Cluck fer now!!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Stage West Calgary
All Shook Up

Audio Interview with star Nicholas Fera Marinucci

Almost fell off my chair when I opened my stats tracker this morning. After just posting my audio interview with singer and actor Nicholas Fera late yesterday afternoon, I discovered that almost 5 times the normal downloads had already been zapped digitally into portable listening devices.

That’s about as close to viral as I’ve gotten here online.

So, sadly Charlie gets bumped to tomorrow (start your week with a chain-smoking smutty chicken – why not?), and you can give the episode a listen here:

or by converting this page into an RSS feed, something I’m not entirely convinced actually works.

Scroll back to yesterday’s post for a link to my Calgary Herald review, or click directly from the podcast site.

And, you can subscribe as well to these ditties in i-Tunes, by searching for

"thatdanguy’s podcast" in the i-Tunes store.

Thus concludes the relentless “All Shook Up” promo week…

On a postscript, the episode was delayed by conflict with Libsyn, and Windows' newest Explorer browser - Version 9, or more accurately, “nein”, as in “this latest piece of crap from Microsoft surpasses all others in lack of usability”. A lousy product right out of the gate, and once I figured out the conflict, I was able to post the episode by working in Safari.

By Apple. Makers of the wonderful Mac. God Bless Apple.

Chow for now….

Saturday, April 23, 2011

All Shook Up is more than a jukebox musical (Calgary Herald, 23 Apr 2011, Page C4)

Stage West Calgary "All Shook Up"
Here's the official Calgary Herald review!

All Shook Up is more than a jukebox musical
dan St. yveS’ writing on theatre, authorS and more Can be Found at thatdanguy.libSyn.Com.
Calgary Herald
23 Apr 2011

S Dan St. YveS tage West’s production of Joe DiPietro’s All Shook Up convincingly addresses the age-old axiom of a talented cast rising above the limitations of their material. After all, a successful stage production based around Elvis Presley more...

Friday, April 22, 2011

Stage West Calgary
“All Shook Up”
A Review

The Friday Morning “Somebody-Asked-Me-To, So-Here-I-Go” Review:

All Shook Up” at Stage West Calgary

As a lifelong Elvis fan, I will confess to anticipating this latest production at Calgary’s Stage West Theatre. Although, knowing a bit about the history of the original production, and subsequent other Elvis musicals, I went in with some amount of trepidation.

I expand more on that thought in my official Calgary Herald review (which I’ll post a link to here tomorrow, once it is available online) – but for now, I can honestly say that as a jukebox musical, it’s no match for past productions like “Buddy: The Buddy Holly Story”, “Motown Gold”, or “British Invasion”. But I’d still recommend getting out to see it – the collective positives outweigh the niggly complaints…

Niggly complaints? A bit of an uninspired, dull set for one. And a cardboard motorcycle that got a few audible chuckles from surrounding tables may have been an idea that should have been given more consideration.

The original Joe DiPietro play itself wasn’t exactly warmly received, closing mere months after opening on Broadway. Re-inventing Elvis songs is risky at the best of times, and only a handful of artists have succeeded in the past. Despite marvellous interpretations for “Viva Elvis”, Cirque du Soleil’s soundtrack for their year-old Vegas show is already available at deep discounts online and in stores.

That’s the complaint file though. The positives are in the casting, with a strong lead in Nicholas Fera Marinucci playing Chad, the Elvis-esque character that the story revolves around. As the play demands, he sounds nothing like Elvis, and only barely resembles him. But his vocals and presence allow for the audience to buy into a Broadway version of Presley and his songbook for the purposes of this story.

Marinucci is aided by a talented cast, too many to single out, but let’s try:

Marisa McIntyre & Jayme Armstrong - both former competitors on CBC TV’s “How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?”

Nadine Roden – Wow. Big vocals from this lady!

Daniel Greenburg – Quite a set of pipes on this gentleman…

Sheldon Bergstrom – the old showbiz maxim about not working with kids and animals has nothing on this guy. Give him one line, and he’ll steal the show, like he did in the recent production of “The Producers”. And that’s just as an actor – does this guy have an album out??

I could go on – there are loads of great performances, given the songbook of hits and lesser-known Elvis songs the cast performs. Some of them work, some are clearly shoe-horned in, and a couple, like the Act One closer “Can’t Help Falling In Love” are what this show needed more of to survive the scrutiny of Broadway audiences.

Hearing “It Hurts Me” reminded me of what a potentially timeless song that was, even though Elvis only enjoyed moderate success back when it was first released. Canadian crooner Michael Buble could probably re-tool that into one heck of a hit. Does anyone out there happen to have David Foster’s e-mail address??

My official review of “All Shook Up” is scheduled to appear in The Calgary Herald tomorrow, so I’ll post a link here when that is available.

Later this afternoon, I’m interviewing the star, Nicholas Fera Marinucci, and I will endeavour to coordinate the audio interview with the Herald link.

At least, that’s the plan!

(A Reminder: Charlie will be bumped to Sunday morning…)

Chow for now   

Thursday, April 21, 2011

University Of Calgary
Department Of Dance
Professional Series II
Why Dance? 3D

The Thursday Morning “Nobody-Asked-Me-To, But-Here-I-Go-Anyway” Review: “Professional Series II – Why Dance? 3D
(or, “Why Only A Select Few Consider Me A Professional Reviewer…”)

Shadows and lights, on a Saturday night,
If you're feeling a little bit crazy,
In the shadows and lights, it's a double delight,
Oh what can you do to amaze me?”

 - from “Shadows & Lights”, by Chris de Burgh
First off, this review is for a production that Mrs. That Dan Guy and I happened to attend WEDNESDAY night, not Saturday – but I’m not about to tinker with well-written lyrics. I couldn’t get that song out of my head after seeing this show, so you’ll just have to work around a little bit of confusion – and before I forget, this show is on again tonight, so if you’re in the Calgary area, make sure you try and fit in into your day-timer.
Not that that particular song was actually used in the show, it just sprang to mind after the creative use of lighting and shadows by the various dancers. No, the music was more of a percussive paradise of relentless rhythms – blends of world, club, and even a brief snippet of the classic rock variety. If you were a toe-tapper, you were powerless resisting the well-chosen beats.
I am getting ahead of myself. I should note before I get too far along that I’m really not that big a fan of dance in general. Don’t watch “So You Think You Dan Dance”. No interest in “Dancing With The Stars”. Whenever dance acts appear on competition shows like “America’s Got Talent”, I find myself searching for the prize in the Cracker Jack’s bag. I wouldn’t know a Samba from a fox with the trots.
So, it’s always a pleasant surprise to be taken by surprise, and get completely wound up in the creative efforts of a talented troupe like this, during last night’s show. Passion, energy, and grace from a wide range of dancers, on a 2-level stage that lent itself to multiple showcases (and the afore-mentioned use of shadows and lights…).
It’s amazing what you can do with no special effects, or Cirque-sized settings. With just the speed of motion, arms appeared as blurred and unfocused as my travel photographs. You couldn’t help but be informed that dance isn’t restricted to 50-pound waifs, as every dancer exhibited endurance beyond my comprehension.
Speaking of waifs, during “The Percussive Song With The Whistle”, five dancers formed a line and pose similar to something you might see in ballet (yes, I have been to ballet – I’m not a COMPLETE cultural hillbilly…). Neat effect coupled with the modern, expressive, visceral dance.
Also a neat effect – the multi-media aspect, featuring screens alternately incorporating the dancers themselves, or simply an article of clothing. Worked well within the performance, I thought.
After bringing the entire show back to where it started, the dancers invited audience members (many of them family and friends, I suspect) to join them. Mrs. That Dan Guy and I had to depart, but it was an exuberant, inclusive end to a captivating performance.
Two toe-tapping digits up!
Tomorrow, check back for my review of Stage West Calgary’s “All Shook Up”, a link to Saturday’s official Calgary Herald review, and my audio interview with the star of that just-opened show!
Charlie will be bumped to Sunday morning…
Chow for now 

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

I’m going to be interviewing Elvis!!

Well, technically the Elvis-esque star of the new Stage West Calgary production of “All Shook Up” – so you can look forward to a review here in this space, a future link to the official Calgary Herald review, plus the audio interview which will be available as a free download wherever you get your finer, fine downloads from.

I caught a media preview yesterday, and the snippet the cast performed looked pretty good. We’ll see how it all comes together when Mrs. That Dan Guy and I see the whole Shamu tomorrow night.

Now, where did I pack my bejeweled white jump suit????

Chow for now!!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

I am cautiously optimistic, but there is growing evidence that Canadian Winter may be releasing us from his or her icy grip. Sure, there’s still snow everywhere, and the temps are remaining below zero, but I can feel circulation returning in six of my eleven toes, a clear indication warmer times are imminent.

It is early, so I may be a tad premature bidding o revoir to snow and frostbite. I mean, we could still get several blizzards before August, being in Alberta. Heck, we could still see Santa before August…

Ah well, today the sun is shining, and the polar bears have switched to their spring coats. Count those small blessings while you can…

Chow for now!!

Monday, April 18, 2011

I Believe (that):

Apple sauce is more about the saws than the apples…

Lassie probably had a pretty good head on her shoulders. Well, what with being a dog and all, “ahead” of her shoulders…

As often as the price is right, it could also occasionally be left…

You don’t see many hunting trophies following surfin’ safaris…

Aren’t all those plasma TV’s out there diverting valuable product from blood banks?

There are 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, and way too much of all of those in your average reality TV show…

Uranus might want to consider an annual check-up…

A spoonful of medicine helps the sugar go down, especially if you’re diabetic…

If the devil is always in The Details, who’s looking after things in Hell?

My “estate” is pretty much going to be a recipe card for toast, and clothes from the past 5 decades…

Even though a picture is supposed to be worth a thousand words, none of those are likely to be “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”, or “Oxnard”.

It is time to wrap this folly up….

Chow for now!!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Oh the weather outside is frightful,

(Hey, isn’t this supposed to be spring?)

But the fire is so delightful,

(we set the sofa on fire, in here it’s friggin’ frostbite-full…)

And since we've no place to go,

(all the airplanes are grounded)

Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

(in friggin’ April…)

It doesn't show signs of stopping,

(till August)

And I've bought some corn for popping,

(up Jack Frost’s ass…)

The lights are turned way down low,

(heavy snow has snapped the power lines)

Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

(pass the rum and eggnog – it’s gonna be a long April…)

When we finally kiss goodnight,

(with those blue, blue lips and teeth a’chatterin’)

How I'll hate going out in the storm!

(unless I see a Greyhound marked “Hawaii”)

But if you'll really hold me tight,

(my circulation might return)

All the way home I'll be warm.

(it’s a deceptive stage of hypo-thermia…)

The fire is slowly dying,

(the chimney flue iced over)

And, my dear, we're still good-bying,

(In the matter of the estate of…)

But as long as you love me so,

(cause I’m holding the comforter…)

Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!


Chow for now...

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Chicken Scratch
(posted by weekend guest blogger and music connoisseur Charles D. Chicken…)
Happy “Record Store Day”!!
Howdy hoomans, and I sher hope yer supportin’ yer local record store taday – IF YA CAN FIND ONE!!!!
Yuk Yuk Yuk!!!
Beleeve it or not, taday is Record Store Day, an that’s why I’m posin’ by one a my valuable vinyls – “Chick” Corea. Groovin’, man!
If I could post ‘em all, I’d include all my Wings records, an tha classic by The Emeralds – “The Bird Dance”. More commonly known in cultured circles as “Tha Chickin Dance”!!
There’s so many others I useta collect, before them hi-falutin’ CDs deprived me uv tha joy a vinyl. Now vinyl’s returnin’, like them poultry bumps on my back (an tha rash on my knees, but tha’s anuther story…)
I wooda recommended tha Zac Brown Band’s big record from a coupla years ago, but when I found out “Chicken-Fried” didn’t mena that tha birds wuz just “buzzed”, I hadta take a hard stand against the cannibalistic tones of tha song. CANNIBALS!!!
So, in no particular order, here’s summa my favourite ole vinyl singles:
Ain’t Nobody Here But Us Chickens”.
Wut?? That’s it???
Well, I can see I gotta hit the Googler, ta fine me sum new music…

Cluck fer now…

Friday, April 15, 2011

The end is nigh. Nearby, even…

I post these little blathering every morning on one of those so-called netbook computers.We got it some time ago with a refund from an extended warranty – probably the only time in history THAT worked out…

Or did it? This thing has been acting funkier and funkier, plus the battery now has about the lifespan of a piece of warm toast.. The other day, I passed it over (fully-charged) to Mrs. That Dan Guy, and in that brief exchange, the battery went dead. Even now, it’s like watching the second hand on a watch, as I type this.

Well, it was a good run. I’ve learned to type on a keyboard about as big as a mushroom cap. All things must pass.

Just like gas from MTDG….

Chow for now!!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

                                                        Springtime In Canada…

Yessir folks, we wanted to live here! Yet another glorious spring day in the shadows of the majestic Rocky Mountains. Under a blanket of fresh snow. Actually, more like R2200 insulation than a flimsy little blanket…

To drive Mrs. That Dan Guy into work this morning, we left the house at 8 PM last night. Tested our four-wheel-drive to get back onto the roads after sliding onto boulevards and sidewalks.

On the way back home, I saw a couple of snow-weary polar bears beating the ever-lovin’ bejeesus out of a local TV weatherman. Tow truck company receptionists answer their phones with “no habla Anglais, Duetsch, et Espanol. No habla period.”…

Spotted a bouquet of tulips boarding a Greyhound bus heading south.

More snow coming over next couple of days. Determining where I should crawl in for renewed stretch of hibernation.

Call me in August…

Chow till then.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Like Alan Jackson sang in his haunting 9-11 anthem “Where Were You When The World Stopped Turning”, I’m not a real political man.

However, let me see if I can wrap myself around this ongoing Canadian election campaign:

- Current Prime Minister Stephen “Tony Soprano” Harper would rather scare Canadians than offer anything of substance. His repeated bleat of preference is “we don’t want an opposition coalition”. As a minority government, ironically he survives as a coalition government, currying the favour of whichever party (the dastardly Bloc Quebecois included) will support his initiatives.

- His government was brought down as a result of corruption over indifference to the appropriate conduct within parliament – yet he still feels we should reward that behavior as voters with a majority mandate! He’d be right at home running Egypt, Libya, or Iran…(the fact that there’s oil in the mix of our public consciousness makes that analogy even more interesting…).

- He’s pudgy – which even by the most basic advice you see on résumé sites suggests he would have trouble getting hired in the competitive job market. Combine that with his age, and politics really is his only option as a career path…

- His party began running campaign ads long before the government was brought down – I’d suggest that indicates they were planning an election long before the rest of the parties decided to vote against them. Even though he continues to blame all the other parties for causing yet another election.

I say get the facts (certainly not the personal opinion of some nut-bar online blogger) before you make your decision for voting day.

I think you can figure out who I WON’T be voting for…

Chow for now…

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Hey, don’t miss my monthly "business" column – celebrities and super sales agents often employ costly “life coaches”. Why can't the rest of us take advantage of prudent, inspirational advice?
I offer a practical (and free) alternative:

You’re welcome!!

Chow for now…

Monday, April 11, 2011

Holy Crow!


I type my posts up first thing every day in a Word doc, after several bad experiences in the early days  of doing this blog. Then I copy and paste them here. End of story, usually.

Today (the 11th, of all days), I somehow forgot to post it, after getting it done.

Good Golly - well, here it is anyway - so sorry:


I need to start deciding my blog topics in advance – these past few mornings have been a traumatizing display of anguish, hand-wringing, and blame-placing. I’ve taken it almost as hard as Mrs. That Dan Guy.

I do prefer to just “wing it”, with these daily postings, either relying on something we’ve done recently, something we’ve watched on the telly over night, or just acting on whatever random thought is travelling through my cranium each morning.

Lately though, like Old Mother Hugger, the cranium has been bare. Not a pretty sight. Worse yet for readers, and I do hate to disappoint my tens of followers.

Well, it is what it is. With nothing else coming to mind this fine Monday morning, here’s my review of last night’s episode of “Matching Colours”, on HGTV:


Chow. For now…

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Argy’s Collectibles, Winnipeg Free Press

Record Store Day

Here’s a link to a great piece in the Winnipeg Free Press on “Record Store Day”, featuring some input from my ole amigo Ray Giguere of “Argy’s” Collectibles (NOT Arby’s, as the article suggests. Great, now I feel like picking up a roast beef sandwich…):

When I first started finding success writing humour, I wrote an opus article myself on the joys of visiting record stores, which I did throughout my entire youth. Something youth now sadly forsake in favour of funneling their Bieber through digital downloads. It just ain’t the same kids!!

Actually, I now reference that piece (which never did get published) in my “Add Some Funny To Your Writing” courses, as a glaring example of…BAAAAAD writing! It was indeed a car wreck of a piece, with way too much over-the-top exaggeration and about 1100 words too many for the idea. It never did get into a "groove" (hee hee hee...).

There you have it folks – check out the article, and/or better yet, take the time to savour a sensation from another generation – the delight of classic vinyl!

Chow for now…

Saturday, April 09, 2011

Chicken Scratch

(posted by a perplexed weekend guest blogger, the apparent poultry pauper Charlie Chicken…)


$44 Billion!!


What the pluck – Scrooge McDuck is worth $44 cluckin’ billion??? How duzza chicken get written inta that duck’s will???

By the pinfeathers of Thor – that’s a whole lotta chicken scratch!!


If I wuz them dasterdly Beagel Boyz, I woulda studied a little harder ta pry them bucks outta ole Scroogie! Sheesh – even coppin’ his change purse would be worth a few mille… I could doze on duck down for decades with that kinda moolah!


Wut I wanna know is how a cartoon duck acquires that kinda grease. Amway? Sham-Wow shares?

Mebbe he wuz one a tha monsters that created Windows….


OK Charlie…calm down…think….

Mebbe I gotta offer him premium interest rates, at tha “Bank A Associated Poultry Fellows”. Located in Scotland, ta sweeten tha pot?

Straight ta tha Gran cluckin’Kaymenz islands if I get my claws on a nickel….


Cluck fer now…

Friday, April 08, 2011

W. Bruce Cameron

“Columnist Of The Year”, 
“A Dog’s Purpose”

This piece linked below originally appeared in eVent Magazine, a weekly supplement to The Kelowna Daily Courier. However, I recently came across it as an online link to the main paper’s digital site:

Worth a read, and if you scroll back up afterwards to click on the photo montage above today’s post, you can listen to the full interview.

Mr. Cameron has just been named “Columnist of the Year” by the National Society Of Newspaper Columnists, his latest book “A Dog’s Purpose” has spent several of the past few months on the New York Times best-seller list (there’s a link on this blog page to my Amazon review), and he’s at work adapting the book into a feature film for DreamWorks.

Why try and come up with something original here when there’s quality product I can recycle????


Chow for now!!

Thursday, April 07, 2011

Hmm. I thought when I joined Networked Blogs recently that I’d get to read about network TV shows. It’s not like that at all!

Basically, the site is like a Facebook page for bloggers, on Facebook. Or very close to Facebook, like a cousin or BFF. Like a roadrunner or KFC to a Kie-O-Tee…

I digress…

Actually, I knew what I was getting into when I joined, as many of my colleagues in various online groups and real-life associations are already active members. And, more exposure never hurt anyone, right – any Tiger-blooded Warlocks out there wanna give me a “Amen, Brother”??

So, by tomorrow at the latest, I hope to come up with something TO blog about, and therefore by association, network.

Until then, isn’t The Price Is Right on network TV? around this time of day??

Chow for now!!!

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Today I would like to salute OPEC, and ALL the participating member nations.

OPEC – “Over-Priced Energy Creators”.

Well done OPEC, well done…SA-LOOT!!

Chow for now…

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

Now that this blog is part of the Networked Blogs space, I suppose I’ll have to start taking greater efforts to raise my game.

Or, I could just point out that my game is more Hop-Scotch than Angry Birds, and hope that all the added features distract readers from the silliness that passes for actual posting here.

Time will tell – if you’re a new visitor, check out my recommendations over to the right. Download a free episode of my ongoing entertainment audio interview series. And (just sayin’) check back Saturday morning for something a little different – NOT for the faint of heart…just sayin’…

Chow for now!!

Monday, April 04, 2011

Should be a fun drive into Mrs. That Dan Guy’s work tonight, as a major road has been shut down permanently to accommodate expanding the Calgary airport. Despite having had a year to prepare, it comes as no surprise that much of the work to accommode alternate road accesses hasn’t been completed just yet, which should make for much hilarity during rush hour.

My prediction is that the city and the airport authority will regret this little foray sooner rather than later. The road closed was a major artery, used for years. With nothing but surging city growth over the past few years, removing a major roadway should really grind traffic to a halt at awful times of the day - this should be loads of fun to unaffected observers.

That would be me, not MTDG…

Chow for now!

Sunday, April 03, 2011

“April showers, brings May flowers.”

“April snow, brings…Nanook the Eskimo???”

Ah, springtime in Canada. I know, there’s not much difference (viewing the photographic evidence) between, Spring, Fall, Summer and Winter here, but nonetheless, it bears witness as a gentle reminder that WE COULD BE LIVING IN FRIGGING FLORIDA!!!!!!!!!


Chow for now…

Saturday, April 02, 2011

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger, Frostbite Chuck…)

Oh, Canada…


Jus when tha cluckin’ snow melts aroun’ here, the next logical thing is ta have MORE pluckin’ snow fall – a wing-flappin’ blizzerd!!


As ya can sees frum tha lawn chair buried over there, the hoomans aroun’ here determined that winter had moved along.


Snow predicted all weekend, an as I type this, geese is gatherin’ ta fly back down south – who needs this “ship”?? It’sa crocka “ship”!!


I pity them poor jackrabbits that’s all over tha place aroun’ here – they been startin’ to turn darker colours frum their snow-white winter fur, ta blend in better with tha summer mud tones. They better get to a paint store, an pick uppa few quarts a Egg-Shell White – they’ll stick out like a sore bum with darker fur!!


Well, I better shovel outta path – my smokes are runnin’ low, an that ain’t acceptable!

Cluck fer now…

Friday, April 01, 2011

In about 50 minutes from now, Mrs. That Dan Guy will report for yet another surreal experience in this ongoing Twilight Zone that we call our lives these days. She has been summoned for jury duty!

We have no idea what the case may be, or if she will even be chosen, but it just adds another car to the Rollercoaster Of Surreal we seem to be caught on lately. If it’s a criminal case, she could be tied up for a week or more. If it’s a civil case, it may be just a day.

I tried to get her to wear a monocle, or bring a couple of cats, but she’s just a spoilsport when it comes to doing things by the book.

And, even though today is April Fool’s,, this is NOT a gag – she really is going to be (possibly) a juror.

Good thing we used to watch L.A. Law faithfully. I did remind her that only the lawyers can holler “Objection!”

Chow for now…