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Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Stage West Calgary's "Fiddler On The Roof" - Calgary Herald Review

My review is live in today's Calgary Herald:

Fiddler On The Roof



Tuesday, April 29, 2014

My Brush With TV's Craig Ferguson

Over the years, Mrs. That Dan Guy and I have had the good fortune to see a number of late-nite TV hosts live - Jay Leno, Seth Meyers, David Letterman, and Craig Ferguson.

I even wrote a column about Mr. Ferguson a few years back, sadly no longer available for viewing online.

Hate to see him leave his post, but this is the reality of the television game now. Viewers would rather watch an orange hobbit show her cleavage, or get googley-eyed over self-centred bozos pretending to court each other. No wonder traditional cable is in such trouble, and have to charge so much for what they have to "offer" viewers...

At any rate, here's my take on catching Mr. Ferguson's brilliant live act - funny as hell he was...


Enjoy! We sure did...


Monday, April 28, 2014

Whirlwind Visit

Wrapping up a whirlwind return to Kelowna to see family - sorry to all other pals for not being able to squeeze more in. Maybe next time. We are seeing family one last time shortly, then another special colleague, friend and mentor on our way to the airport. Pretty much a 48-hour sprint of visiting...

It is warm and sunny here in the Okanagan. We had a forecasted 10 cms of snow falling as we were on the runway in Calgary. Despite that, we are heading back. But what a great time seeing everybody here, and even squeezing in a few familiar sites that have undergone massive change, much like my hairline over the last two or three years. Good to be back...

However, all good things must come to an end, so we are packing as we get ready to check out, and are about to blow this popsicle stand.

Hmmm. That phrase probably has a whole different meaning in other parts of the world..

Gotta fly - literally!!


Sunday, April 27, 2014

Chicken Scratch (Classic Edition)

What was going on with Charlie back in April 2009?

Click here to find out!

Cluck fer now...

Saturday, April 26, 2014

Fiddler On The Roof @ Stage West Calgary

Stage West Calgary
Fiddler On The Roof

photo courtesy of Stage West Calgary
The Saturday Morning "Before-Noon" Theatre Review:

Fiddler On The Roof

at Stage West Calgary
(until June 22)

4.5 of 5 stars

Bringing an enduring Broadway classic to Stage West Calgary always seems to pay off, no less so than with the current production opening this week, Fiddler On The Roof.

A large cast of highly capable actors and singers, stunning choreography, along with the beloved storyline of a man and his family as they struggle with faith, tradition, desire and all that the world seems to keep throwing at them - well, it all makes for a night of musical theatre that will bring back warm memories if you've seen this over the years, or introduce new viewers to the power of a compelling story.

Of course, you can't mention Fiddler without the central figure, Tevye the poor dairyman and father of five girls that are, at this moment in time, about to force him to confront all that he knows of the world he is struggling to raise his family in.

Victor A. Young brings Tevye to life - the faith of the man, the love for his life despite the challenges that are always present, and the love of his family, even as he has to compromise in the face of what is clearly a world in upheaval for people of those older traditions.

It doesn't hurt that he can sing the heck out of the songs that have become Broadway gold over the last 50 years...

Yes, with a rich songbook, most anyone in the audience will know many of these songs, even if one may have come their way via Gwen Stefani. If you're like me, this probably isn't the first time you've seen this heartwarming, emotional story live on a stage. The level of talent is what will likely win you over.

Helping Tevye share his story with the audience are some strong female characters - Gabrielle Jones as his wife Golde. Natascha Girgis directly from her role just a few weeks ago in "Unnecessary Farce", here as the personally un-matched matchmaker. Yente is slowly coming to the realization that her career path may be in need of rethinking in the face of strong-willed women choosing their own happiness, over the traditions of their upbringing. As the first to diverge from those traditions and force Tevye to allow for freewill over paths chosen by parents, Elena Porter is the eldest daughter Tzeitel. 

All of these women (and many others) are led by another - director Elizabeth Stepkowski Tarhan - keeping a tight rein on the vast cast, and the extensive storyline that has to be contained within two acts. Tarhan is best known here in Calgary for her powerhouse vocals ("Glorious", "Chicago"), however she makes this a tight and captivating affair from the director's chair. 

There is so much that goes on in this show. All the suitors to Tevye's daughters and the various people of the village. Dream sequences that fill the stage. A brilliant dance segment (choreographer Phil Nero), and the able band helmed by musical director Konrad Pluta that brings all the foundation to the dreams and desires in the songs and the characters.

I'll have a link here when my official Calgary Herald review is in the newspaper and live online - plus I look forward to sitting down with some of the cast members for my interview series. That said, I'm hoping you get the gist of what this production offers. 

50 years later, that Fiddler On The Roof is as sure-footed as ever, and this production will either introduce you to the story for the first time, or bring back warm memories from what you already knew of it...



Friday, April 25, 2014

Time Management Tips

I recently bought a new clock, and I needed to show it who was the boss right out of the box.

So, I set up a Time Management plan:

1) Keep the clock's battery charged at all times.

2) If the clock starts to lose time, I will dock it pay until it catches up.

3) There are no labour law regarding clocks, so there will be no coffee breaks, lunches, holidays, weekends, or maternity leave...

4) The clock must learn to accommodate for Daylight Savings Time - yeah, that's right - I run a sweatshop when it comes to timepieces...

5) The clock will be up for a performance review in December. I may give it a raise. To the fireplace mantle...

6) I reserve the right to terminate this timepiece at any time, without penalty. Hey, technology changes, ya know....

And THAT's how you manage time!


Thursday, April 24, 2014

Upgrading My Fitness Regimen

My pants are suggesting it might be time to pull up my fitness socks. First - screw you, pants! Second, here's my plan:

1) Move potato chips to higher shelf, requiring additional flexibility and reaching (stretches, very healthy...).

2) Get my own coffee in the morning, rather than wait for my house-person to bring it over once I'm settled into the sofa. I'll also save a fortune on tips!

3) Start walking more. Start with going down to the wine cellar and cigar humidor...

4) Give that Prancercise thing a try. Maybe try indoors first.

5) After dinner, set snacks in various locations that will require me to get up and fetch them. Wait, fetch? Oh-oh....

6) Buy larger size of new pants.

Hope one of those works!!


Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Catching Up With An Old Friend

Spend a very pleasant 40 minutes or so walking down Memory Lane yesterday after meeting up with an old friend in a mall food court - we worked together at one of my earliest jobs, I'm pretty sure I wore shorts and a beanie cap when I went in for my shifts back then.

Amazing how after not seeing each other for likely about 30 years (!!), there was not a moment lost throwing out old names and wondering where some of our colleagues may have gotten off to on their own roads of life. Surely a few must have crammed some skeletons into their closet, like becoming a local politician, or staying on to this day at that family restaurant chain??

She also was present for one of my lapses of judgment many years ago. We were both leaving a party years (and years) ago, and I was moving music gear down to my car. Left a cheap Fender knock-off guitar in the lobby of a condo block. When we got back down with the rest of my gear, someone had stolen my guitar!

However, the icing on the cake is that the thief was no fool - once they discovered it was an inexpensive copy of a real guitar, they placed it back in the same exact spot, the next day - where I found it when I got back home from a shift at work!

Hard to believe it has been that long already. I mean, I was there when fire was discovered and all, but still - time flies.

Especially when you are catching up after such a long time.

Great seeing you Manon!


Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Filler, #22

(I had nothing...)

Bluebottle flies shun any offspring that are turquoise.

Most exercise bikes are quite happy with their time spent being sedentary.

Early stoners struggled for acceptance in their craft, after the term evolved into a drug reference...and witches became harder to find.

The Rolling Stones originally decided to call themselves Gather No Moss. Then Keith Richards read the rest of the famous phrase, and said "Uhh, hey Mick..."

IKEA scientists spend weeks working on finding the best way to omit a critical piece of your new bunk bed in the packaging.

Cucumbers got pickled for decades before a creative cook had a flash of inspiration...

Celine Dion's heart still goes on. And On...

A family of four is one person less than a party of five.

(nothing, I tell you...)


Monday, April 21, 2014

Killing Off Archie??

Have you heard about this hare-brained idea to kill off enduring comic character Archie Andrews? I'm not sure why, when or how, but he's supposed to die a "heroic death". That alone is questionable as hell - what's so heroic about two jealous girlfriends plotting your demise by argyle sock circulation restriction??

Bear in mind, this is the world of comic books, where death is pretty much the first step to regenerate interest in the character. Superman has died so many times, St. Peter doesn't even look up any more when he sees the name in his admittance ledger. "Passing through again Kal? Hope your readership get better this time...)

But Archie? That seems like a particular stretch even for the world of comic books.

Although, it would be fun to see Mr. Lodge finally go off the rails after Archie's latest buffoonery, but that's another story... A guy with that kind of money probably has an Iron Maiden in a hidden torture chamber in the basement...

I haven't read Archie or Jughead's adventures in years, I must confess, so I can't say if the franchise is struggling and needs some titillation to revive the series.

Maybe something less radical than killing him off though?? A gambling problem? An addiction to painkillers for those weird strips on the side of his head?

What do I know?? Fair thee well, whatever fate awaits you, American Redhead!

And say hello to Garfield - all that lasagna and lethargy is finally catching up to him..


Sunday, April 20, 2014

Unclear Of The Holiday, To Be Quite Frank

So, today we eat chocolate eggs because a rabbit feel asleep in a cave, and came out a few days later?

Sounds good to me!

Pass the jellybeans - and back away from my candy!


Saturday, April 19, 2014

Chicken Scratch

(Posted by...what the heck??? Charlie???)

Pass over yer choklit eggs, an nobody gets hurt, capeesh??


Ah'm tha Easter Bunny, an despite whats ya hears, ah GITS eggs, ah don give 'em!!

So pass me yer cluckin' eggs an ya don get yer knees whacked!!


Ya, confusin', ah know - but this is how it really werks.

An if yah gots any other candy, this is like mah Halloween, so put it in this here pillow case, so ah don'ts gotta bonk ya upside yer pluckin' head!!


Wut's that? I ain't hippity hoppin'??

Bum knee, frum all that goldern snow shovellin' this spring - wut's it to ya!



Cluck fer now!!

Friday, April 18, 2014

Chick Magnet!

I'll be the first to admit that I'm no chick magnet.

So, to gather Easter chicks, I have bought one on eBay! I'll let you know how it works after it arrives. How science works is clearly beyond me, but if a magnet can pull chickens in, there will be no shortage of eggs from now on in the That Dan Guy household!!

Plus, if anyone else is looking for Easter chicks, I'm hoping to have several to sell.



Thursday, April 17, 2014

Considering Some Plastic Surgery

My childhood G.I. Joe doll has not aged well, what with having been dragged through the mud and banged against trees back when I was a young darling.

I may have to arrange for some cosmetic surgery to restore the poor fella to his former glory (or at least to be able to see his beard again). Know any good plastic surgeons I can approach about this??

Maybe I should reach out to Joan Rivers or Kenny Rogers for a "Friends & Family" bulk discount?

I've asked my sister's Barbie doll, but her lips are sealed...

Any help would be much appreciated friends!!


Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Embracing Ole Man Winter

Seeing as how Ole Man Winter seems determined to live in our basement throughout spring this year, we can only conclude that his marbles may be a little scrambled. He should already have moved on to Australia by now, but after yesterday (and today), it is clear he has no intention of moving on anytime soon. Even now, he's hollering for his morning newspaper, the crabby old SOB...

So, all we can do is embrace his lingering presence. There are some upsides, after all:

1) Dig out those Christmas cds that you had already put away back in January - many of the songs are far more fitting for the weather than those inappropriate Beach Boys hits...

2) I will save a fortune on lawnmower fuel this year!!

3) That shovel I bought Mrs. That Dan Guy for Christmas is really turning out to be a wise investment at this late point in the year...

4) Summer tires? in Canada?? HA HA HA HA!!!

5) The heavy snowfall has really covered up that deer carcass I've been meaning to remove...

6)  I will save a fortune on barbecue fuel this year!!

7) That frozen, ice-covered robin on the tree branch looks just like a Christmas tree ornament (is that muffled chirping I hear??)

8)  I will spend a fortune on heating fuel this year!!

9) My oil and canvas painting of the view out my living room window is simply shades of white...

10)  I will save a fortune on Speedo dry-cleaning this year!!


Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Rejected Rock Band Names

You know, there have been some pretty lame names for rock bands over the years (The Hollies?? What, was Climbing Vines already taken??). But there are several others that were soundly rejected, and we have now compiled them below:

1) Minute Rice

2) The Doilies

3) 2 Guitars, A Bass, Some Drums, and a Piano Player

4) Fondled Buns

5) The Gardeners

6) Root Canal

7) Vladimir's Poo Tin

8) The Democratic Republicans

9) Weak Stream

10) The Beadles

11) The D to F Street Band

12) R.E.M. iniscin'

13) ABC-DE

14) Tone Deaf & The Off-Tunes

15) The Beached Buoys

16) Bustin' Jieber

17) The Philadelphia Triangle Orchestra

18) Taxi Van Hailin'

19) Etude de Mondo Accordian

20) Ahh Bah

I'm sure there's more, but these are the ones we were able to find while surfing The Googler over morning coffee...


Monday, April 14, 2014

Keep Yer Udders Straight!

Man, I'm no farmer, but how hard can it possibly be to keep all those udders straight, when milking cows??

There's 1%, and 2% just for starters, never mind skim and buttermilk. Plus a variety of creams, AND powdered milk! Now that's some output talent for animals that are generally dismissed as dumb...

Are they marked? Do farmers just know after years of experience? Do the spigots have different sizes??

I tip my hat to anyone that can keep all of that sorted out - I'll continue to just enjoy the end result, from lovely cartons in supermarkets, thank you very much!!


Sunday, April 13, 2014

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger and aspiring pugilist Charlie "Thunder Wings" Chicken...)

Howdy hoomans!

Ya know, ya heers sew much about clockfightin', ah gots ta thinkin' - Charlie, why don YOU give clockfightin'  a try??


First off, them hands on clocks iz inna INSIDE, not on tha outsides, so ah figures ah could clock 'em good before they could punch back. 

Git it?? Clocks 'em!!

Har Har Har!!!


There's big money in clockfightin', so mebbe ah could live in tha style ah deserves, not haven' tah fend fer mahself with leftovers from tha humans in this coop! Ah keen, a bird kin only eat sew much Cheezies...

Although, ah does understand that sum parts of tha country frowns on clockfightin' - it may even be ill eagle in parts. 

So, keepin' this idee-ah on tha lowdown fer now - but training' already.

Know any good clockfightin' managers???

Ah floats like a buttered fry, an stings like night pee!!


Better run, ah needs ta shop fer sum boxing' gluves!!

Cluck fer now!!

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Calgary Folk Club: Riders In The Sky & Steve Pineo

Calgary Folk Club
April 11, 2014
Riders In The Sky
with the Steve Pineo Trio

The Saturday Morning "Before-Noon" Review: 

Calgary Folk Club


Riders In The Sky 
and The Steve Pineo Trio

What a way to end the 42nd season of the Calgary Folk Club - a local blues/country institution, and a world-class group of cowboy serenaders - all-in-all a great example of the diversity of the folk music world.

Talking about diversity, singer songwriter Steve Pineo has been entertaining Calgarians for over 25 years with a wide variety of styles. I've seen him fronting an R & B swing band and a blues band while opening for Linda Ronstadt and The Neville Brothers respectively several years ago. I've caught him solo at an event for The Calgary Public Library. 

Regardless of what genre he's chosen for any of his performances, the end result is memorable for both the songs and the stories he shares.

 Onstage last night with guitarist Tim Leacock and bassist Kit Johnson, his set was a blend of blues, country, swing as well as fun, self-depracating humour. 

"Too Bad For Me", "Get Back On That Horse", the tongue-in-cheek "Boogie Man", plus the top-drawer jazz ballad "Nothing Much Is New" were all great examples of his skill in crafting solid songs. Not to mention his hit for Paul Brandt, "Canadian Man". 

If you're not familiar with this musician's musician, check out his website for starters, or search for his blues album in iTunes and MySpace - you'll be hooked soon enough. 

If you've seen Toy Story 2 or Monsters Inc., you've heard the Grammy-winning music of Riders In The Sky. The only things missing onstage last night were a couple of Palominos and a campfire. Otherwise, these guardians of Old West music recreated some of the biggest hits of the past 60 years in mighty fine style.

Sinatra has Buble, The Beatles have Rain, and Elvis has...well, tens of thousands of artists keeping his sound alive. For Roy Rogers, Gene Autry, The Sons Of The Pioneers, and others of that style, Riders In The Sky do a remarkable job with music that was ultimately folk, country and pop all at the same time back in the 1940's, and later. 

Ranger Doug

All four are vocalists you could easily spend the entire evening listening to, but together, those harmonies on iconic Americana songs like "Cool Water", "Happy Trails", or "Jingle Jangle Jingle" elevate these gentlemen way above a tribute act. You are hard pressed to imagine these aren't all their own songs, as every nuance is as authentic as the originals.

Joey, The CowPolka King
Not to mention the camaraderie and humour - oh, the humour. From corny to classic, with lines like "May The Horse Be With You", or the sight gags of a musical duel not involving instruments (see them live, you will not regret it). 

Woody Paul

If you were looking for yodellers, these four singers could keep up with the likes of legends like Hank Snow, Wilf Carter, or Jimmie Rodgers. I also liked that all the instruments were acoustic, yet filled the room as easily as did their vocals. 

Too Slim

With well over 6000 live performances under their collective belts, it's no surprise these gentlemen know how to engage their audiences, but it's not really a hard sell when you have a relentless wagon train of enduring memories like "Rawhide", "Back In The Saddle", or "The Yellow Rose Of Texas".   

There really were too many highlights to try and squeeze into this review. Given the intimate venue, the stellar sound production and their musicianship, plus a sincere, immersive presentation of some of the best music of any era, this season ended with more than enough reason to look forward to what is yet to come.

Find out more about Riders In The Sky at their own website, and The Calgary Folk Club by clicking here


Friday, April 11, 2014

Everything We Do Makes History

A few pictures I snapped at a museum display in Hartford Connecticut last year caught my attention at the time because my day job involved volunteer engagement. While I don't have that connection now, they still are extremely relevant to my work as a writer.

Like many of my writing colleagues, I've given back and done workshops or classes for new writers over the years, or just presented my work in public to an appreciative audience - but these three pictures all underline that whatever it is we do, the ultimate culmination is impact, in one way or another. For readers, for students - for history.

Share. Think. Imagine. Just a few of the words, but all good things to offer, and live by, I think.


Wednesday, April 09, 2014

Rats Return To Alberta?

I heard on the TV news this morning that our rat-free status is in jeopardy again, here in Alberta. This is the second such infestation in just 18 months!

I suppose we need to clear up the rat situation, but I'm sure it plays a part in helping law enforcement, if informers cooperate with officers and lawyers to help bring their associates to justice.

It might be better to use "nicer" slang, if the term "rat" is the problem.

How about canary? They used to use that in the cartoons when I was a kid - "he sang like a canary"...

I suppose "pig" would be confusing, although one does "squeal" - however I believe that is still slang for cops.

Is "informant" off the table?? Hard to believe they are still considered "rats"...

It's one confusing "tail", that's for sure!


Tuesday, April 08, 2014

Bean Counter

I can't seem to find my bean counter here in the kitchen?

I've got a place for a breadbox, a coffee-maker - even the toaster. But I just can't seem to spot a logical counter for which to dedicate space for beans??

I will probably have to call someone in to help with this dilemma - and me with a brand new bag of beans!!



Monday, April 07, 2014

My David Letterman Memory

With last week's announcement of David Letterman's pending retirement, I shamefully dust off this old blog post, which eventually became a newspaper column piece as well a few years ago. 

It's all pretty self-explanatory, if not at all serious:

Late Night, In The Afternoon

I had never been to New York City before, so when my wife and I planned an impromptu trip to The Big Apple recently, she made a request for tickets to attend a taping of the Late Night With David Letterman show. Despite our limited but hopeful expectations – we got a call, and correctly answered a Late Night trivia question – we were in! And as it happened, we were present for history being made, with guest Sir Paul McCartney appearing on the show for the first time in his career.

Even having pre-arranged tickets before leaving Canada, you can’t start to breathe easy until you’ve got the actual tickets in your hot little hands. Anything can happen – a freak infestation of holidaying killer bees, street vendor hot dog stand food poisoning, aging Paul McCartney fans threatening to pummel you with their Beatles memorabilia – it is a gauntlet of gnawing anticipation, as you watch the crowd gathering.

But wait – I’m getting ahead of myself! Before the show, we stopped in at Hello Deli, owned by Letterman recurring character Rupert Jee. His business was the trivia question I answered correctly, to get our tickets. It just felt proper to reward him by taking up space in his deli, to split a roast beef sandwich. I even kept his hand-scribbled note, indicating we ordered the “Brian” sandwich (although he should maybe have been a prescribing physician instead – it looks more he wrote “Pmai”).

After lunch, we finally began the lengthy queue to get those tickets in our hands, waiting to get into the Ed Sullivan Theatre – the very theatre that The Beatles, Elvis, heck - virtually every top performer of that era appeared. Just above us, on top of theLate Night marquee, Sir Paul was doing a sound check for a mini-concert he was doing as part of the show. “Get Back” – Holy Flashback of “Let It Be”, Batman!!! You got goose-pimples…

The process in the ticket line is a bit secret-agent-ish. You wait in one line, then get herded off to the other side of the street, while your heart sinks as you briefly believe that they are escorting you away from the theatre. Keeping your eyes peeled for gentlemen in pin-striped suits with cement buckets, you are relieved to discover that the next stop is the Roseland Theatre, directly across the street from legendary former New York disco Studio 54, where you are sorted by groups into more groups, to (at long last) find tickets to The Late Show in your sweaty palms. Your pulse soon returns to normal.

But, you’re not done waiting. Another line, this one under the marquee, where McCartney is rehearsing “Coming Up”. I hope it’s more like “Staying Up”, as that marquee looks awfully old…

Despite the charade, the show is taped in the afternoon, for broadcast later that night. You have never been so thankful for air conditioning as you are when you finally step foot into the theatre – sweaty goose pimples are considerably unsightly.

In the theatre, we ended up in the second row, just off to the side. We were about 5’ from announcer Alan Kalter – 20’ from Letterman himself while he was sitting at his desk with Sir Paul, after his opening monologues and silly bits. We had a clear view ofThe CBS Orchestra, and hammy cohort Paul Shaffer. The whole thing just made your head swim. Even more surreal, action star Bruce Willis strolled out to do the Top Ten List, of things he was doing that summer. Fine sense of humour, Mr.Willis. He turned up for the mini-concert afterwards, soliciting more photo ops – cameras not allowed IN the theatre, but free to snap on the street. A street full of happy snappers, there was…

Oh yeah, the concert – McCartney did a half-dozen songs, even though only two were broadcast as part of the show. Great blend of WingsFireman and Beatles stuff. The Late Night audience had a special viewing area, as the streets of Manhattan were literally swollen with McCartney fans.

So, not only did I attend a filming of David Letterman’s enduring show, I also had the opportunity to see Paul McCartney make his first-ever return visit to the site of one of the most memorable TV broadcasts of all time.

I have the feeling that getting a High Score on my Wii Bowling just won’t be the same anymore…

©Dan St.Yves 2009

Sunday, April 06, 2014

Captain America - Because...

Caught Captain America yesterday. Not entirely sure if it was a biopic or not. I think he holds a high-ranking office in the United States, but I could be wrong. Maybe right hand to POTUS??

Seriously, a good action yarn, with loads of explosions and special effects. We sprung for the 3-D screening, which only made our money leaving my wallet appear more vivid. I would recommend seeing the film, just pass on the 3-D extravagance.

I can't spoil any of the story or plot or 'wow" moments, but I can say our popcorn was simply exceptional. The theatre really went out of their way on that. Delicious.

So, to recap - Captain America: may be a high-ranking U.S. soldier, or this could have all just been escapist entertainment. Very good, recommend seeing it. Hope your popcorn is as good as ours was.


Saturday, April 05, 2014

Chicken Scratch

(posted by....umm...weekend guest blogger? Charlie Chicken??)

Well, well, well...


Pulled mah column BOTH days lass weekend, eh??


Wut am ah, invizzible??



Pluckin' hoomans...

Cluck fer nowc - Ah'm too imoshunal ta gab taday...

Friday, April 04, 2014

Alley Gators

Can I make a confession?

I have an irrational fear of alley gators. The last thing I want to come into contact, walking through a dark alley at night, is an alley gator.

That's why I keep a bag of marshmallows handy at all times. When we were in New Orleans a few years ago, and we went on a swamp tour, that's what they fed to the alley gators there. So, I figure my best chance to avoid getting mauled by an alley gator is to have something to distract it with.

I suppose I could also sport a fashionable "murse" or a certain style of snazzy shoes, just to send the thing a message. For a prehistoric critter that tastes like a modern-day chicken, alley gators can be ruthless killers.

The world is a constant source of concerns, I tell you...


Thursday, April 03, 2014

Postage Jumps To $1.00 A Letter In Canada!!

The news outlets this week have been alerting Canadians to a sudden jump in postage rates. You get a break for buying s book of stamps, a generous .85 apiece in bulk. Otherwise, a single letter postage paid will be $1.00

I was so angry at this cash grab I jumped into my horse and buggy and whipped them down the cobblestone street until I made it to the post office. We were going so fast, my eight-track tape came loose from the player!

I parked under a gas street light...

These postal offices and employees are tasked with handling the tens of snail mail letters that seniors, shopper surveys, flyer producers and general spammers send to homes across the country regularly, often arriving more than once a week to our super-mailbox. (Yes, they are also announcing the phasing out of actual home delivery - what are we living in, the era of The Jetsons???)

When I tried to open the door it was locked. Coffee time. Damn, they've got a good union at the post office...

Well, there's aways email I guess - flame on!!!


Wednesday, April 02, 2014

Flawtography Episode #018

"Flawtography By Dan"
Episode # 018
Neil Diamond In Concert

Even though we saw Neil Diamond live in concert several years ago, looking at this picture just brings me right back into the stands of The Calgary Saddledome. 

As you can see clearly, he looks terrific, and the crowd sure was appreciative of his show that evening. He did Sweet Caroline twice, back -to-back!

I did a review, which even features a short video clip - yes, bootleg video...

Ah, they say a picture is worth a thousand words. In this case, those words are classic song lyrics...


Tuesday, April 01, 2014

Mack The Knife

Ken The Fork

Bob The Spoon

Art The Melon-baller

Ed The Toothpick

Nick The Napkin

Swirly The Corkscrew

Smack! The Tenderizer