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Thursday, May 18, 2006

Well, now I've seen everything...

Walking into my home office last night, I must have walked right past him. But as I sat down in my chair, he caught my eye.

Now, we've had critters in the house before, but this was a new one to me. Standing in our hallway, outside our 2nd bedroom, was a gecko. Or a salamander, if the former isn't native to our area of British Columbia.

He must have noticed that I had noticed him, as he paused in his slow skulk forward into our home. Much like myself when I get caught sneaking a chocolate chip cookie just before dinner time, freezing in place is supposed to be an adequate camouflage. At my size, that's like trying to smuggle away the Statue Of Liberty in a beach bag...

He then regained his courage, flattened himself for good measure, and proceeded to check out his new home. My options raced through my mind like a three-alarm chili through...well, just about anybody I suppose.

Do I throw this large and heavy copy of the 2005 Writer's Market on him?? How much stain would a flattened lizard leave?? Do I use a flyswatter, on something about the size of my index finger? Do I just holler at him, like trying to scare a furry marmot away from a flower bed??

I opted for several pieces of Kleenex, and scooping him up in one fluid motion. However, unlike the dozens of spiders that have come before, I couldn't bring myself to squish the tiny trespasser.

I turned over the Kleenex, and looked right into his little eyes. You may not believe me, but this guy had an expression of "please release me" on his face, in his sad and pleading eyes...

The fact that he didn't try to help me save money on my car insurance probably helped spare his life as well...

Unsure of what to do, and entirely incapable now of flushing him down the toilet, I went out my patio door, and flung him as far away from the house as I could.

I'm hoping he stays out there, but compared to big hairy spiders, he's not a bad dude to have stop by for a visit, after all...

Chow for now!!

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