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Friday, May 19, 2006

Alright, so I'm still on the upward portion of this perpetual learning curve of life...

Turns out that even though I personally thought that I had shown great compassion yesterday, throwing a live lizard downhill in the dead of night is in fact not the brightest thing to mention while applying to join an organization like People For The Ethical Treatment of Animals.

I kept the guy alive, doesn't that count for anything?? It's not like I shared my comical story about how when I was a youngster my best friend and I put his family cat in the dryer for a few spins! And I was smart enough not to show up at their office with a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken, so give me a little bit of credit!!

Sheesh...

I never seem to engage that radar or intuition that normal people have when it comes to situations like this. If I get pulled over for speeding (hypothetically...), I'll blurt out something about how the honey crullers are my personal favorite. Then I've got to buy tickets to their bloody regimental ball, attend a sensitivity training course for three weeks, AND pay for a speeding ticket (theoretically...come on, that could NEVER happen in real life...).

I had a friend walk into my retail store several years back, looking like his dog had just died. I commented on this to him. Turned out his dog had not died. It had been his mother...

So, this weekend I'm driving out to a Psychic Fair & Farmer's Market that happens to be running all weekend in a nearby town, to see if I can get a tuneup on this clearly inept "spidey sense" of mine.

If all I take from it is how to gauge the look on my wife's face after I've just brought home a collection of rare Partridge Family 8-tracks, I'll be ahead of the game...

Chow for now!!!

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