Chicken Scratch

(Posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken…)

WHEEEZE!!!!

GASP!!!!

HAAAAAACK!!!

NO PANINI, NO GAININI!!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Brothers an sisters – ole Charlie needs yer prayers now more than ever. I gotta crazy idea ta get back inta my fightin’ shape – I ain’t seen my six-pack abs since they bloomed inta a two-four!

WHEEEZE!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Jeez, I shure hope my cigarette ashes don set the carpet on fire…

Clearly, I unnerestimated how badly outta shape I had gotten. I think my calves is bleating out loud right now!

WHEEEEEZE!!!

Great Chicken, please give me the strength to make it at LEAST to 3 minutes a this torture – I feel like I’m getting plucked without the benefit a anisthetics…

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Ya know, I used ta be like Rocky Balboa – I could leap over tall buildins inna single bound. Now, I think one a my lungs is folded over. Or on strike.

WHEEEEZE!!!

Hey, where’s my ole head band an leggings?? I maybe just need to LOOK like I’m exercisin’ – not actually trying to die by sweat ingestion…

Screw this – the bar is open!

Cluck fer now…