My sister-in-law and her husband have our backs. They are painfully aware that my wife and I have all the home renovation skills of a termite coming off a thirteen-day hunger strike.

She recently sent me an e-mail with a short tip, to enable me to sound like I knew what I was talking about, should we ever come face to face with a contractor. The tip was a single word: SCHLUTER.

Now bear in mind, these are the same beloved characters that once wrapped our entire vehicle in Saran Wrap, along with several other similar practical jokes, so excuse me if I worry just a bit that the word SCHLUTER to a European tradesman may be Yugoslavian for "your mother's mustache is quite becoming...".

Should I choose to take a leap of faith and believe what she is telling me, SCHLUTER is apparently the brand name of something in a bathroom. Taking a good hard look at the word itself, I am more than just a little bit frightened of what it resembles the most, slang-wise....

She added in a follow-up e-mail that it has something to do with waterproofing membranes, and as I know that their two girls are now way too old to still be wearing diapers, I have to assume that any contractor I question will not double over in laughter if I ask to see his own selection of waterproofing membranes. But there's still that little voice that tells me to proceed with caution here...

Chow for now!!