Easter Rabbit Etiquette

This Easter, don't leave things to chance. Today, I will share the PROPER way to consume an Easter rabbit made of delicious milk chocolate.

First off, these rules apply for the solid bunnies as much as they do the wasted money you might spend on a hollow rabbit. In my humble opinion,  it should be a federal offense to omit the full amount of chocolate in holiday offerings. Just stuffing marshmallow inside is a sad attempt to deceive consumers...

Regardless, here are my tips:

1) Ears Away!!  Always, always bite off the ears first. One could almost survive on chocolate rabbit ears alone, but hang in - the rest of the bunny is indeed as delightful as those ears...

2) Eye C(onsume) You... If you feel guilt over an earless rabbit pleading at you with their eyes, you will appreciate this next tip. OFF WITH THE HEAD!! Remove that peering eyeball along with the rest of the bunny's noggin, and voila! No more guilt!

3) Getting A Leg Up - Into Your "Rabbit-Hole": If your chocolate rabbit has stayed in one place so far, ensure that the bunny will stick around longer by removing the bottom portion of the candy. Thumper? Hard to thump without those lucky rabbit's feet!

4) Free-For-All: After the aforementioned items have been removed, it is now appropriate to consume whatever your heart desires next. At this point, it should no longer resemble a rabbit anyhow. Even a PETA member should feel comfortable breaking off a piece and gnawing on it.

There you have it! This Easter, follow these simple rules to enjoy your chocolate rabbit to the utmost.

Chow for now!

Rejected Dwarves

Everyone remembers the original 7 dwarfs (thank Spell-check for THAT version) - Doc, Sneezy, Raspy, Ecru...

But were you aware that focus groups helped the original author determine that some other character needed to be cut, so as not to spoil the beloved cast that was ultimately assembled?

(I'm asking in case you might know that's actually true, because what I'm about to suggest likely never really happened...)

So, here we go - Snow White's Rejected Dwarf Companions:

Wilt The Stilt

Tuberculosis Ted

Gropey

Richard Simmons

Boozey

Gassy

Tom Cruise

Cannibal Carl

Touchy

Incontinent

(Chow for now..)

Post A Title

That is the default suggestion in the New Post Title Box, which does seem to make a lot of sense.

Title suggestions?

"War & Peas"??

"Pride & Pledge It Just"???

It is really meant to be a "grabber", something that lures readers to your site.

"Bieber.com"??

"Call Me, May Bea"??

"CSI Oxnard"??

I have been guilty in the past of luring viewers/readers with titles that have nothing to do with whatever I post - my bad!

"Winning Lottery Numbers"??

"An Teak Roads Oh"??

Unlimited Money - Free!!"???

Boy, it is really hard to choose just one....

Chow for now!

If Life Gives You Melons...

There's a pretty good chance you're dyslexic....

Or just a really bad speller...

Or, you're Pamela Anderson (sorry, I tried to leave that one out, I really did...)

Chow for now!

Retired Pope Projects..

First off, thanks to Mrs. That Dan Guy for her comments on an earlier Retired Pope post, which was the inspiration for today's column...

I'm not really sure what opportunities "Eggs" Benny will explore, but here are a couple of possible TV roles:

1) Revive a 90's video show feature, call it "Pope-Up" Video this time. The hook? Jabs at pop culture in Latin!

2) Pope In Space - based on the popular tweets of Cmdr. Hadfield from the Space Station (or wherever he's tweeting from, I just enjoy his photos), the Lingering Pope could also post inspirational pics, from miles above the Earth!

3) My most likely guess - either "Golden Pope", or "Pope In The House". The retired pope sharing a retirement home in Florida with beloved actor John Mahoney (Martin - "Frasier") and Bill Cosby ("Cosby"). Doorways too short for his hat; one washroom, three men - the laughs are endless! Thursday nights on ABC....

Chow for now....

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken McNuggets...)

Wut tha cluck????

Who let winner back in?? It was like summer aroun' here tha lass few days??

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Ah woke up this mornin' , an it's cluckin' Snowmaggedon!!! Ah can't even see ma bi- sickle on tha lawn!!

Or ma buddy Cornelius, who sleeps outside - tha sap!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Well, looks like ma plans to open ma lemmin-aid stand taday is dashed. Who's gunna buy ice drinks.....waaaaait a minute....Hot Rum Toddies anyone???

Perhaps a Saint Burned Ard with a kegga booze??

There muss be some way ta make a few bucks outta this dizaster....

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Ah could offer tows ta cars stuck in tha snow. I juss need a emurgincy call number, and a toe truck....

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Life kin be sew cruel ta entrapranoors....

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Of course, I could juss go back ta bed....

Yessir....

Like a bear, see ya in sumer!

Cluck fer now!

Calgary Folk Club Review, 03 01 13

Calgary Folk Club

March 1, 2013

Dave Gunning with

Molly Thomason

The Saturday Morning "Somebody-Asked-Me-To, So-Here-I-Go" Entertainment Review:

Calgary Folk Club

March 1, 2013

Dave Gunning with

Molly Thomason

True story - I discovered Dave Gunning's music back in 2009 when I wrote a column for my national column. I write a humour column for the real estate industry, and my concept for that month was a list of songs about house and home. 

Almost immediately after it came out, I got a letter (2009, remember letters?) from a reader upset about my omitting Dave's "House For Sale". I found a copy, and immediately became a fan of his style of country - as he suggested last night, Celtic Country.

Regardless of what you call the genre, this is a style of music that won't soon go out of favour. It's the sort of music that can be played around a campfire. In a kitchen. Or as he commented in one of his many stories last night, gathered around fellow oil patch workers, missing the home province you left in search of a good income.

A true east coast storyteller, Gunning shares how so many of his songs were inspired, and openly pays frequent tribute to his personal inspirations. A great story about seeing Stan Rogers and John Allan Cameron in concert (TOGETHER), getting the title of a song to co-write with Ron Hines in a bar - the audience clearly enjoyed those nuggets as much as the songs that came from them. 

His comments about going to school with J.D. Fortune (Rockstar INXS) and George Canyon (Nashville Star), and their subsequent reality TV success was pretty cool - I followed both of those TV competition journeys, start to finish. 

Songs. The man can write songs.

With about 20 centimetres of snow expected tonight, it maybe wasn't so out of context to hear his hilarious Christmas song, "Daddy's Beer". Regardless of the season, you might never get tired of hearing "Saltwater Hearts".  

Dave is currently in competition - "These Hands" is a finalist in the International Songwriting Competition. Click on this link to visit his website, and VOTE!! Or find links to his music and tour schedule.

Opening act Molly Thomason was immediately endearing. At just 18 years old, her musical influences certainly spill into her songwriting. Citing The Beach Boys, Buddy Holly and Dion and The Belmonts,  her songs showed deep maturity, as did the introductions she shared before performing them.

She's well aware of her old soul. She confessed to "Hometown" being part of a mid-mid-life crisis. I also really enjoyed "Walk You Home", and "Shine In The Dark", from her 2011 release "Beauty Queen".  The remarkable thing is that some of her material is 4 years old, which would have meant she wrote them when she was 14!

A new release is coming out soon, and she is ALSO in a competition. Visit her site to vote for her as Best New Artist on CBC's Searchlight MainStreet. Vote!

Check out The Calgary Folk Club for upcoming shows!

Chow for now...

Richard Karn Video Interview, Part Two!

Hot off the press - so hot I don't even have an image link posted yet....

Richard Karn Part Two

We talk about Home Improvement, Family Feud, Stage West Calgary's "Game Show", and an enduring iconic Canadian...

Chow for now!

Pope Pooped, Packs It In...

Wouldn't that have made for a better headline?

I also thought about trying to fit in Bennie & The Jets, but I don't think he has a personal fleet of aircraft.

Anyhow, Happy Retirement. What do retired popes do? Golf? Fish? Christian Mingle??

In unrelated news - I am currently on track to retire when I am 85 as well.

Boo-Yah!!

Chow for now....

Twists and turns all part of Stage West’s Game Show

Twists and turns all part of Stage West’s Game Show

Almost Done

Finally making our way through the Oscar's broadcast we PVR'd the other day. PLEASE - no spoilers on who wins! So far, we've managed to learn virtually every winner, just before we've watched the show. Ugh - damn you, inner nets!!

Observations so far - despite hearing that viewership was up 11% this year (eleven), if this was the first Academy Awards broadcast a person has ever seen, I'm not so sure it would convince you to come back next year. I think viewership was more closely related to the inexplicable appeal of young Jennifer Lawrence than any other compelling effort made to draw in couch potatoes.

We wrapped it up with the In Memoriam segment last night.

We'll finish it tomorrow night, as we are off to see an Olympian speak tonight. I'd tell you more about that, but the paperwork is upstairs, and I don't expend THAT energy until I head up to get ready...

Ma Nya Na!

(Testing new closes...)

Please, no spoilers!

We PVR'd the Academy Awards last night, so please - no spoiler........

Crap....

Thanks, Morning News.....

Chow for now.

Lost My Post...

Well, I had a whole other post ready to click "Publish" on, but the cheater version of Blogger lost the whole damn thing when I tried to italicize something.

So, this is what you're getting today - and this is ALL you're getting today. Friggin' stuff that can't work properly MAKES ME CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!

Chow for now...

Chicken Scratch

"Dancing With The Barnyard Stars", Take 1

(Cluck for now...)

Celebrity sTalker - Suzy Soro

Hey!

I figured out how to add a link to Suzy Soro's book in my Amazon Associate's link over to the right there (My Favourites). It was not easy, and I was really just taking a stab in the dark since Blogger totally redesigned things here.

Check out my Amazon.ca review (also on Amazon.com), and order this great collection of stories that includes encounters with entertainment legends like Lucille Ball, Johnny Carson, and Seinfeld/Curb Your Enthusiasm's Larry David.

Funny, poignant, and you truly won't want it to come to an end...

Chow for now!

Hey!

Where are you going??

Did you at least CLICK on the link??????

I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!!

Damn You, New Blogger!!

Why do sites have to "new and improve" themselves beyond the point of being useable?

I want to add a link to "My Favourites" for a book review I finally completed, but I can't for the life of me figure out how. It used to be a really simple process.

Well, I'll keep looking. Maybe it will be time to consider Wordpress....

Aaargh!!

Chow for now...

I Have A Seam...

My pants, my shirts...

My towels and pillowcases.

I have a seam, many seams truth be told.

They are what hold my fabrics together.

Go, seams!!!

(Yes, I had nothing - what's it to you???)

Chow for now!!

On The Mend...

Well, I am pleased to report that I have pretty much held my cold at bay - good thing, as it was a hectic holiday weekend.

On that, I see that my top two posts (by a large margin) according to this morning's Analytic's are my review of Friday's Calgary Folk Club, and the review of Saturday night's media screening at Stage West Calgary.

While I didn't quite get my book review done, that will be wrapped up and be awaiting Amazon's approval later today. I got a good start yesterday, and just want it to be as good as I can get it.

More to do coming up this week, and I'm not quite out of the woods with my cold yet (why do so many people head into the woods with illnesses??), but I did better than most people I know that have been stricken, or even went on to full-blown flu.

Now, if I could just get my head to return to a more acceptable/typical size, I'd be a real happy camper.

In the woods, or not...

Chow for now!

Chicken Scratch (On A Monday? WTC??)

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

"Game Show", Stage West Calgary (review)

"Game Show"

Stage West Calgary

Featuring Richard Karn

(photo courtesy Stage West Calgary)

The Sunday Morning "Somebody-Asked-Me-To, So-Here-I-Go" entertainment review:

"Game Show", at Stage West Calgary...

Finally!

A production at Stage West Calgary where I cannot proclaim "best musical EVER!".

This non-musical comedy however certainly hit several high notes during the course of just over 90 brisk, funny minutes. 

Billed as "The Comedy YOU Play", several fortunate audience members had the chance to step onstage and become part of the proceedings. While the play itself had some great laughs already written in, the wild cards from the audience added another dimension altogether. It's pretty safe to say that many of them had no hope of winning the trivia contest with the answers they were providing host Troy Richards (played by actor and former host of "Family Feud" Richard Karn).

Mr. Karn eased into his role as host of this fictional TV game show easily. Smooth, confident and capable, he bantered with the audience contestants, and managed to parry back with terrific jokes as he went along contestant row. No question, he earns his keep as the star of this show. 

However, the balance of the cast helps handily in making the rest of the show run smoothly. In addition to the TV show taping, there is skullduggery afoot as conniving colleagues coordinate a casting coup.

 Chantal Perron plays show producer Ellen Ryan, in need of restorative lip balm as much as a moral compass while she schemes to replace Troy, and ignite her own ascent up the network ladder. She's...

She's....

You know, I can only spoil the fun if I give too much away here. The element of surprise isn't listed in the credits, but it is a crucial part of the proceedings.

I'll post a link here once my official Calgary Herald review link is live, but in the meantime, check out the feature interview that already appeared there:

Richard Karn interview

and check out the video link in the feature, or click here

For my money, Game Show (running currently at Stage West Calgary) is a hearty 4 out of 5 stars...

Calgary Folk Club, 02 15 13

Calgary Folk Club

02 15 13

Lennie Gallant,

The Bombadils

The Saturday Morning "Somebody-Asked-Me-To, So-Here-I-Go" Entertainment Review: Calgary Folk Club, Feb 15, 2013

Lennie Gallant,

The Bombadils

You just cannot go wrong with spending an evening at The Calgary Folk Club.  Even with a bad cold - just try to stay away from your fellow music fans...

Last night was a perfect example of that theory. Opening act The Bombadils showcased diverse but nicely cohesive musical styles, all the while allowing for opportunities for each individual to shine within the unit.  

Offering what to me felt like traditionally classic folkie selections covering a number of genres (and often feeling Celtic with flute and piccolo throughout), this young group based in Montreal quickly won over the audience. "Blue Lullaby" began gently, with showcases for each member (as pictured, Anh Phung, Sarah Frank, Evan Stewart, Luke Fraser) before kicking into a more rollicking finale.

Sadly, I can't read my own writing from my notes this morning, but if I recall, "Peter's Lament For The Death Of The Duck" was another great showcase for the group, and even though vocalist Frank was struggling with a cold of her own, she still managed to remind me a bit of Kimberly Perry, of The Band Perry. 

What sold me was the stunning original "Hint", launching with haunting bow work on the upright bass. I'm guessing that song may have propelled the large crowd gathered over at the CD sales table after their set. I'll be listening to my copy later today...

Headliner (and apparently the artist-most-often-invited-back) Lennie Gallant engaged the group immediately. Currently on a tour of Alberta, fresh from shows with Symphony Novia Scotia, the stripped down performance (just his nephew Jeremy Gallant on keyboard) didn't lose a beat. Playing loads of selections from his new CD "If We Had A Fire", you could pick out the future classics, like ""Emily's Letters", and "Extraordinary Ordinary Life" - trivia note: we were seated at the same table as the Alberta couple that inspired that latter song...

The man is a storyteller, both with his music, and in between his songs. Having recently seen Tom Jackson's "Huron Carole", the two Canadian music legends share a fondness for similar jokes - but the audience LOVED it all! A true raconteur.

Gorgeous ballads like "Pieces Of You" and "God's Reply" likely led to Gallant's proclamation that of all the requests he was getting, he could only do so many - and he was only going to play a limited number of ballads. No matter, he could do no wrong onstage. Wait, that's not entirely correct. He made an error starting one song, but started over,  not a single complaint...

Incidentally, from his back catalogue, Gallant's classic "Peter's Dream" is nominated right now for CBC's Top 10 East Coast Songs. Hover your mouse over the song title back there, visit the link, and VOTE!! I did...

Chow for now!

Richard Karn Interview (Home Improvement, Family Feud)

My interview is now officially live in The Calgary Herald, so I can finally post live links to that AND the companion video interview I soft-launched a couple of days ago:

Richard Karn feature

What a treat to sit down with someone you've watched for years - and he is truly a genial gentleman!

Enjoy!

Chow for now...

Closer To The Finish Line...

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!

After a relentless week of personal and "day job" commitments, I have just a breakfast event today, Calgary Folk Club tomorrow, and Stage West Saturday. Oh, and a book review somewhere along the way, plus trying to schedule a phone interview. This is a long weekend here in Alberta after all, so I hope to spend at least one of those days relaxing and catching my breath.

Clearly, I am getting older, and all this hectic pace stuff is not in alignment with my general goal - stretched out on a sofa, beer in hand, potato chips at the ready.

My diabetes thanks this hectic pace stuff....

Chow for now!!

Getting Through...

Well, my "Week Of Juggling Cucumbers" is well underway, and we seem to be getting through the worst of it - even if we are starting to feel the weight of minimal sleep.

After getting through two days of volunteer casino management (and shifts), I had to attend a health fair yesterday. Once we got home, we both took a quick nap until my parents called, and we got up to catch up with family matters from them.

Afterwards, I worked on my interview feature for the Calgary Herald, and managed to get that sent off. I understand that it will appear this weekend, and I will post a digital link here once that goes live. If you're following me on Twitter and Facebook, you may have been able to preview the video version that will link to the newspaper piece...

Today, I'm in a course all day at Volunteer Calgary, after which we will probably come home and collapse under the coffe table until morning. I've got a breakfast event then, and with any luck I'll be able to get the book review done so that I can schedule my next interview - a phone chat with the funny, funny Suzy Soro.

And then, we've got Folk Club friday night (review Saturday morning), and Stage West Saturday night (review Sunday morning).

If it weren't for coffee I'm not sure my eyes would even be open right now....

Chow for now!!  

Valentine's Day

A little early (and you've probably already seen this if you follow me on Twitter & Facebook), but here's my latest national column - a little reminiscing on:

Valentine's Day

Hope you enjoy it!

On another note, if you look up Irony in the dictionary, you would probably find reference to Mrs. That Dan Guy and I spending EIGHT hours in a casino, and NOT playing a single slot machine. That was our cross to bear last night, as we were out until the wee hours of the morning helping out with my employer's non-profit volunteer fundraising casino.

I'll have to thank everyone later that pitched in to make it a success, but this was the first one I was completely in charge of in my role. Nerve-wracking...

Chow for now

Non Profit Fun!

Well, Day One of my commitment to our Canadian Diabetes Association casino fundraiser is behind me. So, so sad to spend a dozen hours among slot machines, without actually being able to feel the gentle caress as I grasp the handle of a one-armed bandit...

Sigh...

Oh well, them's the rules, and I must abide if I hope to ensure my employer sees the benefits of this two-day event. Such is life in the not-for-profit world...

And, with my schedule as of late, I juggled in between checking in on volunteer arrivals my interview with actor Richard Karn - which will be a full-blown feature in the Calgary Herald, tied to the video footage - which will be a first for me. I've done an audio-linked feature years ago for syndicated Canadian cartoonists Chuckle Bros, but this is a brave new world I now enter.

I'll link that feature later once my review of the show appears in print and online, next week.

We also had to find time to meet up with our landlord, to renew our lease in between all the frantic traveling between commitments. Fun! But, we did it.

Today, I hope to edit the video, and put together the piece to submit to the newspaper. Then I'm back to the casino, until about 2:30 AM Tuesday morning.

Call me crazy....

Chow for now!  

Go!

OK, the starter's pistol has fired - my hectic schedule now officially becomes INSANE!!

Starting today, I'm in charge of our two-day fundraising casino for my day job. In an epic feat of irony, I will be spending the next TWO days in a casino from about 10:00 AM, until at least 10 PM tonight, 2:30 AM tomorrow night. AND I CAN'T GAMBLE!!!!

That should be fun...

In between that endeavour, I will be interviewing actor and game show host Richard Karn, hopefully Calgary actress Chantal Perron, and finishing reading a book for my upcoming review/interview with California stand-up Suzy Soro. I would also like to get my interview with Baltimore writer and humorist pal Wojo (last name like a newspaper Jumble puzzle) in there somewhere.

Hey, I got a direct Twitter response yesterday from legendary stand-up David Steinberg!! Not only is he currently hosting a terrific series on stand-up comics (which was what he responded to on Twitter), he is from my hometown!!

Winnipeg, Baby!

Better run - prep time is vanishing as I do this process...

Later - chow for now!!

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie "Marathon" Chicken...)

Howdy, lay-zee hoomans!

While youse were all still sleepin' in, ole Chuck wuz hittin' tha bricks!

After I quit bangin' my head against tha wall ta wake up, I stepped outside fer a run...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Yessir, ole Charlie is gunna run in marythons!!

I watched Chariots a Fire on sattylite TV, an now I wanna be a Olimpick runner - call me Tha Flash!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Wut with ma streemlined fisique, I figger I gotsa major advantig over hooman runners, what with their natural flab an lacka skitterin'. Wings don't hurt none either.

I may not be tha Road-Runner, but I've managed to outrun the coyotes in OUR nayborehood!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

I juss gotta stalk up on Gatorade, spandex shorts, an dee-odor-ant. Chicks may not eggsactly dig a smelly stud...

Juss to be clear - beer is NOT a performance enhasin drug, is it??

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Hey, dew marythons typically last longer than a city block?

I need ta start small, until ah develop ma gams!!

Ready...

Set....

Andelay, Andelay!!!

Who was that blurry burst a speed an awesomesness???

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Cluck fer now...

Artsy Fartsy

Is that like when you are touring an art gallery, and you get struck by "the vapours"??

Is artsy fartsy linked specifically to gas occurring during arts-related events?Because let me tell you, I have had occurrences...

Chow for now..


- Posted using BlogPress - too lazy to start my laptop...

Spin off Chicken?

Well, once again Charlie is topping my downloads here - by a substantial margin!

A close second is my recent review for The Calgary Folk Club, but that cursed foul fowl is continuing his domination of this blog space.

I suppose that this is probably an opportunity for learning, as they say in the corporate world. If I put more effort into these daily posts.....

Well, upstaged by a chicken - it has come to this...

Oy!

Chow for now...

Bygone Days

You don't really see a whole lot of candelabras anywhere these days.

Liberace used to give candelabras a pretty good showcase back in the day. Phantom Of The Opera brought them back for awhile. But other than that, I don't think you see many of the multi-pronged candle stands anywhere else outside museums.

Not like I want to lead a charge back to the dang things, I'm just sayin'...

Wait - just a second...

I have forgotten the Jewish community - I think that they use candelabras for their holiday celebrations? I can't confirm that, which is a little embarrassing as I used to play music (recorded) for many Jewish events back when I still lived in Winnipeg. If they do use them, I don't know that they are called candelabras.

Maybe I need to start fact checking on Google before I go off on these half-cocked rants??

Chow for now...  

Not Enough Time In The Day...

Man, back when all I did was freelance writing, it was a HELL of a lot easier making deadlines...

Well, can't complain - my calendar is filling up like a senior with a weak bladder on a long bus trip these days, and I just have to try and manage best as I can.

I've got two interviews this coming weekend for the upcoming Stage West show, a museum review I haven't even started, and much more in the pipeline. I've also got a handful of articles I'm pitching around, plus book proposals going out, book reviews and author interviews. Maybe I need to learn how to focus, instead of utilizing the dog-looking-out-the-window-at-squirrels technique??

My day job is also getting hectic, so that is chewing up a lot of time I could have been checking some of those projects off my list.

Wattaya gonna do? A good problem to have I imagine, and all you can do is try to keep juggling without letting one of the bowling balls fall and konk you on the head - although that might be a good way for one of those projects to get my IMMEDIATE attention...

Chow for now!

Dental Work

Had the second part of my cleaning and fillings done this weekend. As a nighttime grinder, I had shaved a good portion of my teeth down over the years, so there was some restoration work done on that. Like the Sistine Chapel I imagine, but with less ladders...

The thing I always think about as my head is tilted back to allow the work to be done isn't that I hadn't flossed since 2009. My moment of panic at the dentist's office is always whether or not I had remembered to trim my  nose hairs, which are pretty much displayed for the entirety of all the procedures.

Are there booger particles lurking? Do the hairs look like they are trying to make a run from my nostrils, or have they just exploded with misplaced Rogaine treatments?

Those are the sorts of things that go through my mind....

Chow for now!

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken...)

Ugh.

Howdy hoomans.

Weigh-in today. Not dewin' sew grate with ma New Year's razzlooshuns...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Ackshually, ah'm feelin' downrite bloated lately - don't look at me, ah'm BEASTLY!!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Ah kin feel ma wings wigglin' whenever ah walk down tha hallway - a bird could pretty much fly with a pair-ashoots like these!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Don't even git me started on ma thighs - ah feel like a corder-roy test factery, or like ah could spontaneously combust if ah started to jog a coupla blocks!

This bird has GOTTA lose sum weight, if he wantsta fit inta his Speedo cum summertyme!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Now, all I needta do is find a reely small treadmill...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Cluck fer now...

Calgary Folk Club 02 01 13

Calgary Folk Club

Feb 1, 2013

Gretchen Peters

Sam Baker

Barry Walsh

The Saturday Morning "Somebody-Asked-Me-To, So-Here-I-Go" entertainment review:

The Calgary Folk Club

Gretchen Peters

Sam Baker

I couldn't put my finger on it for the longest time last night. During singer songwriter Sam Baker's opening set, he reminded me of a number of artists, but I couldn't pin it down. A bit of actor Woody Harrelson, a touch of Kris Kristofferson. Leo Kottke, without the slide guitar...

 I wound up concluding his voice reminded me the most of actor Matthew McConaughey. A great fit for his easy-going storytelling style, and his soft, tender lyrics had the hall quiet as a library from opener Soldiers Of The Cross, until his sense of humour between songs cracked the crowd up repeatedly.

It is a philosophical experience Mr. Baker presents, as he talks about his own "there-but-for-the-grace" moment that changed his own life, and seeps into so many of his songs. Surviving a random act of violence and relearning his craft in the aftermath, when he posts a quote in his CD jacket like "How Beautiful Are These Days", he believes it whole-heartedly, and lives that onstage, extending that out for his audience.

Even seeing the humour of life on the road, and Sleep Number beds. 

There were too many highlights to list, including a few collaborations at the end of his set with keyboard and accordion from Barry Walsh - without any rehearsal beforehand. No impediment whatsoever for these pros.

In introducing Odessa, Baker shared a story about how Texas had squandered much of the state's oil wealth. Timing really is everything - welcome to Alberta, 2013....

You need to discover this gentleman's music - visit Sam Baker's website to catch up, and follow his journey.

****************************************

Gretchen Peters... 

Well, let me shamelessly lift a section of her own website to give you some idea of her accomplishments, if you aren't familiar with her work:

"Nonetheless, Martina McBride’s 1995 recording of Peters’ “Independence Day,” the gritty story of an abused woman’s revenge, made her a songwriting sensation. The performance received a “Best Country Song” Grammy nomination and won the Country Music Association’s “Song of the Year” title. After that a string of great vocalists – Pam Tillis, Trisha Yearwood, Patty Loveless, Neil Diamond, George Strait, Etta James – began to record Peters’ songs. Peters also signed her own record deal, yielding her 1996 debut album The Secret of Life. The title track was cut by Faith Hill in 1999 and hit number five on the country charts." 

Last night, Peters performed more recent material, from her latest album "Hello Cruel World". With standout tracks like Saint Francis, Dark Angel, and the lovely Five Minutes in her first set, Peters and her husband (the aforementioned Barry Walsh) spent a load of time signing copies of THAT album during the intermission.

With her success at penning songs for other artists (and herself), she is a bit reminiscent of Steve Seskin, who was at this very same venue just a few months ago. If you're also a fan of artists like Emmylou Harris, or Mary Chapin Carpenter, you will undoubtedly be a fan of Ms. Peters. 

Visit Gretchen Peters, and find out for yourself.

The evening ended with a "Nashville guitar pull" set, each alternating on originals and covers,  with artists like John Prine and Townes Van Zandt included in their selections. There was a TV show not too long ago where Rosanne Cash shared a story about a similar guitar pull evening at her father's home - that was the first time "Me & Bobby McGee" was played before an intimate appreciative audience.

It may not have been all that intimate last night with a full house at The Calgary Folk Club, but it was an appreciative group for these talented, compelling artists....

Vote For "Balloon Dan"...

Just for fun, check out the Calgary Herald's Photo Vote:

Balloon Dan

My colleague at work submitted his balloon rendition of my head, and it is actually running on their website!

His own photo, Weird Beird is also up there, so if you like that one more, he still wins as the photos are both his. That whimsical self-portrait dominated the site most of yesterday.

All in good fun, and I have to say, he really captured me with his artwork.

Chow for now!

Need ASAP

I need someone to come up with an improved Kleenex box. Like that Dyson dude that reinvented the humble vacuum, I submit that we need a similar makeover for the Kleenex box.

First, off, the current design shaves off part of each Kleenex as you remove it, resulting in "snow" everywhere around the box. Kleenex debris, dust for no good reason... I wonder if I could collect that crap and sell it to a Hollywood studio??

Second, the damn box is too light, so when you go to pull a Kleenex out, the box flies all over the place, often knocking over anything around it. Even just falling off a counter is a nuisance, having to pick it up all the time.

Finally, as it is not see-through, you are always grabbing the LAST goddam Kleenex when you grab one. Don't get me started on how few there are in any given box...

In conclusion, we need a heavy, see-through box that has more than three scraggly tissues inside.

Now, will someone go invent that??

Chow for now...


- Posted using BlogPress - too lazy to start my laptop...

Sicko

Sorry, mean to say "sickie". Mrs. That Dan Guy is home sick for a second day, fighting neck and cold issues. She's nursing neck and head aches. Hopefully she bounces back soon.

So far, I have proven immune to her bug, but that could have something to do with my Iron Man constitution, and a mind-over-matter determination.

Plus keeping a 15 yard distance - that has probably helped quite a bit...

Hey Honey, throw me another strawberry, willya???

Yessir, prevention...

Chow for now!!


- Posted using BlogPress - too lazy to start my laptop...

1st Move - New Cell...

After our recent "digital vacation", the first casualty has fallen in the updating of our digital world. My old original iPhone 3GS is history after yesterday.

Well, the contract was up, and that phone was starting to get a little funky - so we started to do some homework about replacing it. It seemed a certainty that we would switch carriers along with some sort of upgrade.

Turns out we stayed with our current Telco after all (happily, not our cable provider - they are soon to be sent on their way...), and I picked up an iPhone 4S - an improvement for sure, but not the latest and greatest. The iPhone 5 requires all new connectors, so I was happy to stay with the ones I had already invested in, along with my ibgStar, the glucometer made specifically for iPhones (3 & 4).

Took a while to get everything transfered between the old and the new, complicated by Apple dropping a new OS just for the occasion. However, by about 10 PM I was back online, and so far, aside from a few passwords I will have to go look up - SUCCESS!!

I feel like Copernicus....

That is all - carry on!

Chow for now...

And So It Begins...

Hello, Monday....

Ugh - how did the weekend manage to give me the slip again?? Aren't there supposed to be two FULL days in between Friday and Monday??

Alas, I must return to my week, far from the tranquility of reclining in my hammock, chilled beverage in hand, cigar trailing smoke off into the sky.

Yeah, I live in Canada - that doesn't even happen in summer...

Back to work it is!

Let's do this, Work Week!

Chow for now...


- Posted using BlogPress - too lazy to start my laptop...

Sleeping With A Hanger....

Yes, you read that right - last night, I was sleeping with a hanger...

We spent the night "holidaying at home" last night, staying at a local hotel to attend Mrs. That Dan Guy's Winter Soiree (would that be a Christpast party??).

I won't name the establishment, but we spent most of the night trying to survive a thermostat set to steam clams, even after we had shut it off completely. This morning, with a window open and the heat shut off, it was still 74 degrees Celsius in the room. My toupee was wetter than a tea bag in a pot.

Making things even more fun was waking up every few minutes as my foot grazed what I thought was a spring popping through the sheets from an exploded bed coil. Or a discount bed of nail. 

I discovered this morning when I pulled back the covers that it was in fact a hanger, under the sheets.   

Not with any clothes attached, just an empty hanger, under the sheets. We made a note to ensure WE left a tip for housekeeping - rather than have the next poor bastards find a severed horse head under the covers. Yikes.

Back home now, running a little late, but looking forward to crawling into our own bed (sans surprises) tonight...

Chow for now!

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken...)

Hey hoomans!

Ah wuz juss...uhh...juss checkin' out mebbe orderin' a friend ta come over fer company - nothin' nasty!!  "Chicken On Tha Way" - how handy is that??

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Ah foun sum klassified ads fer chickens!!

Go figure!

Although, it only has cryp tick ways to fine a friend - either by wings, legs of breasts??

That's kinda odd, but as a single bird, it is nice ta see that ma preferences is given pry orrity...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Personally, ah go fer chicks with both legs!!

HAR HAR HAR!!!

Kinky tho - yew kin also order stuff like "coleslaw", an "gravy" - muss be....

Muss be....

HEY!!!!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

CALL THA COPS!

MURDERERS!!!!

CANNIBULLS!!!

OMG!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Ah think ah'm gonna herl......

Cluck fer now.....

Crocodiles At Large

Just read a news scroll that 5000 crocodiles "remain at large" after escaping from a reptile farm.

"Remain at large"?? How exactly do you accumulate 5000 crocodiles at a farm without being designated a purse factory? And how lax is your security that you couldn't turn the departure around after two or three hundred got away??

First off, never hire security guards that get so wrapped up in an episode of "Modern Family" that they can't take their eyes off the screen for even just a second to view security footage.

Second, maybe build lower fences when you are holding crocodiles - they will not be jumping barricades to get out...

Third, avoid wearing your meat dress if you are going to a bar the next few nights - those long-faced gentlemen wearing trenchcoats and sunglasses may be looking for more than just a piece of ....., well you know...pardon my French...ass....

Chow for now!!

- Posted using BlogPress - too lazy to start my laptop...

Getting Closer...

Well, I don't know if this recent partial week of digital holiday helped my decision requirements all that much, aside from discovering public wi-fi for connecting without my regular methods.

I have to make a decision in a few days about a new cell provider, or see if I'll just stay with my current one. I think Mrs. That Dan Guy will finally get rid of her personal cell, so there may be some consolidation there.

Public wi-fi is OK, but not practical in the long run for consistent connection. I did manage to stay online a fair degree the last few days, albeit irregular hours.

Some Imodium has settled that down nicely...

One way or another, change I think is closer than ever!!

Chow for now!


- Posted using BlogPress - too lazy to start my laptop...

Ready. Set. Gogh!

Who says this spot ain't artsy enough??

Well, pretty much anyone that stumbles across it online....

I can't even pass it off as fartsy!

Well, something to aspire to. Another day...

Chow for now!


- Posted using BlogPress - too lazy to start my laptop...

Exotic Birds

There are some amazing varieties of exotic birds in the world, and that's what I'm toucan about today...

Actually, I think that's the only joke I had. Didn't even have a parrot them, or bother to Google before starting this post :-0

Well, not the first time I've gone off the rails here - better just flamingo off into the hinterlands, try again tomorrow...

Chow for now!

- Posted using BlogPress - too lazy to start my laptop...

Running Late...

My humble apologies, failed to get to this in my typical timely way.

I know you're probably wringing your hands in anguish, hanging on the line wherever you may be hanging.

Or, in the real world, you may just be thinking "oh crap, he didn't finally stop doing these posts..."

Funny trying to get on public wi-fi for this - but should be back online soon, so you can rest assured this drivel will be back online in as timely a manner as I am able to provide.

No thanks are needed...

Chow for now!
- Posted using BlogPress - too lazy to start my laptop...

Chicken Scratch - Classic Edition

It's a throwback Sunday, here at Chicken Scratch.

Check out this vintage post

Archival Episode

Enjoy!

Cluck...err, chow for now!

Calgary Folk Club 01 18 13

 Calgary Folk Club
January 18, 2013

Evans & Doherty
with Lizzy Hoyt Trio

It feels like a million years ago that we could have enjoyed a night of music like this on national television - in prime time no less!

While there may still be varied music shows on TV, it's unlikely you'll ever surf the channels and come up with an evening of first-rate Celtic music like the Calgary Folk Club enjoyed last night. 

Opening act Lizzy Hoyt Trio referenced growing up to artists like The Rankins, but her sound goes back further - more in line with the corner pub TV music shows I grew up.  

Alternating fiddle and guitar, accompanied by upright bass, guitar and mandolin, Ms. Hoyt touched on a wide array of emotions in her time on stage - traditional fiddle medleys, jaunty reels, and quiet, heartfelt stories on "Home" (with references to her home in Alberta), and "Vimy Ridge" - the latter she was able to perform at the actual site to mark the memorial's 95th anniversary. She's already an award-winning writer, and with songs like that one and "Picture On My Heart", I imagine she'll capture more along her journey.

Lizzy Hoyt Trio

Headliners Evans & Doherty I understood to be from the East Coast. They may be based there, but they hail from another coast altogether - in Ireland. You can't get any more authentic than that if you're dispensing Irish drinking songs, bar-room sing-a-longs, and stories of the old country.

The genial jokesters were as quick onstage to react to the crowd as a standup fencing with a heckler. But this audience loved every minute of it. The audience also clearly loved the duo, as this was their 8th visit to the club!

Evans & Doherty are a demonstration of musicianship and engagement, how to own an audience with the simplest of setting, connecting without all the distractions deemed necessary in pop music. "Jug Of Punch", "Fiddler's Green", and the cheeky "Sister Josephine (What A Funny Nun You Are)" made me wish I could have stayed for the rest of the evening. But snapping up a copy of their double-disc 25th anniversary collection might fill in the blanks for me over the rest of the weekend :-)

Evans & Doherty

It was a full house and then some last night, but if you haven't yet discovered the Calgary Folk Club, I'd advise you to give it a visit. 

You'll be among friends....

  

Frantic Friday

Such is the reality that when you are busy, things come at you with even greater urgency.

Trying to juggle a handful of pressing items today, but man - even more things seem to be popping up out of thin air.

Oh well, you do what you can do, and hope it all works out - failing that, you crawl back under the cover, shut off the phone, and hide until it's safe to come back out again.

Hmm..why was I even bothering with Option #1????

Chow for now....

Google Kills A Donkey??

I am not a morning person. I do not bound out of bed singing, no matter what sort of medications I may be taking. It  takes me a good while to get cohesive thoughts gathered. And yet, I Tweet and blog every day as early as I'm able to - go figure...

This morning, I could have sworn that there was a headline scrolling on my morning news about Google hitting a donkey, and running. This could of course be a test by the producers to gauge how much attention viewers are devoting to the  news update scrolls. It could also mean that somewhere, Google leapt off a computer screen, jacked a car, and sped into a donkey.

There has been no report of the condition of the donkey, nor whether or not Google has returned to computer screens...

Wait!!!

Hold on just a minute!!

The donkey is dead.

I repeat, the donkey has died. In Botswana.

Well, there goes my theory that yesterday's Google Doodle - an ice-cleaning machine knows as a Zamboni, was the culprit. Not much ice in Botswana, I imagine.

Can you imagine being the CSI team being sent to investigate THIS crime?

What the hell is going on out there people????

Chow. For Now...

Whoopsie!

Sheesh - I picked a bad week to direct someone to this site, given the lack of cohesive posts this week!

Well, I clearly need to pull up my socks around here, and put some thought into what I tap out every morning.

Of course, I see on Google Analytics that Charlie is once again topping my page views by a huge margin, so people - this is partially on your shoulders as well!

However, I will have the first Calgary Folk Club review of 2013 coming up this weekend, as well as some exciting author interviews over the next few weeks, plus another new show at Stage West, where I expect I'll have an interview with the former host of Family Feud, and co-star of Tim Allen's Home Improvement, Richard Karn - along with other cast members.

Plus other fun stuff - so PLEASE, keep stopping by, I promise there will be value for the effort spent.

In the meantime, you should really check out the blog site of Hollywood comic (and author) Suzy Soro:

Where Hot Comes To Die's Blog

Her new book Celebrity sTalker is out right now, and based on Twitter posts she's been doing leading up to the release, if you enjoy close encounters with funny people, you should find a lot to laugh about in between the covers of THIS release.

I hope to interview her early next month, and tie that in with a review of the book - although the review can certainly happen sooner than that...

Better run, this is getting dangerously close to a decent post. Stop when you're ahead, man!

Chow for now!

I've Got...Nothing!

Clearly we have to start getting out and about here in the Such Is Life household - I have absolutely nothing to ramble on about this morning!

Uhh - we watched TV last night? Mostly stuff we don't watch anymore, because our other shows weren't on.

How I Met Your Mother - how is that show still on the air? A viewer could get dizzy with all the storylines circling back around on that sitcom, without ever really going anywhere... We gave up the ghost last year, and watching last night's new episode just confirmed our decision.

Mister Dee, on CBC - the first couple of episodes were as funny as star Gerry Dee, but then it seemed to go off into the hinterlands, with nary a laugh (or logic) ever to be seen again. What is this, the second season? Watching last night's new episode is half an hour I'll never get back - wait - we didn't last the whole show, we flipped over to watch The Weather Channel - I think we're good!

Well, enough critiquing. Better get ready and head off to start another day.

Chow for now!

Jodie Foster

Sorry, I meant to say Joe D. Foster....

I sincerely hope you didn't surf over to this site because of that erroneous headline.

My humble apologies if that is the case.

Joe, Happy Birthday - hope your day is great!

Although, as long as you are here, my misguided reader friends, I will say that I quite enjoyed Ms. Foster's speech for her Lifetime Achievement award at last night's Golden Globes, as well as her recognition of (at just 50 years old) "passing the torch" - or as I like to say, the "rise of the diapers"....

I will have to Google that speech, and give it another viewing....

Chow for now!

Eye Key Ahh...

Eye Key Ahh.

Ole Dell Pass-O

Wallm Art

Den Ease

Don King Dough Nuts

Day Vid Let Ermine

"N" bee, eh?

Fun With Phone Etiks??

Chow for now!

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger, Charlie Chicken...)

Man, weekends really get me bent outta shape...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Ah feels like ah might be tha crooked man, who walked a crooked mile - an I ain't even barely awake yet...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Ah should go look inna mirrer - I feel like ma curves is much more da-finded then youshual. Like a long and winedy road...

Probably juss need ta stretch, do sum calisthentics??

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Whoa - ackshually, ah feel a bit like a python, coiled fer inactivity. Sleepy...

Mebbe ah juss need ta put ma head down fer a few more minutes....

Yeah, that's tha ticket...

Cluck fer now.

Selling A Home Via Twitter...

Every industry needs to stay on top of trends, and the real estate business is not exempt. Over the years agents have put their listings online, developed web presences, and put more of their marketing efforts into the digital world.

And now, Twitter:

Tweeting A Sale

Enjoy!

Chow for now....

Breaking News.

I cannot blog this morning, as I have to clean our humidifier.

Well, just posting this means that I HAVE blogged after all, albiet "coasting" as I have suggested just the other day.

That is all.

Carry on...

Chow for now!

My Friend Charlie

I noticed in the stats this morning that I had a big spike in my site views here yesterday.

Knowing that I've admittedly (and obviously) been "coasting" the last few days, I was puzzled - until I clicked on the Posts tab, and discovered that my weekend guest blogger was the reason for my page views jumping well over quadruple. For a rubber chicken, he can be awfully agile when it comes to leaping over all my other topics.

Second place was the link to a new, combined podcast version of my Stage West Calgary cast interview, for current production Two Hit Wonders. Again, no surprise there - always lots of traffic for those features.

However, something for me to consider - a troublesome, misbehaving bird gets more interest than real people.

Does he need his own blog? His own Twitter?

His own book???

Makes me think.....

Chow for now! - And no matter why you stop by here, much thanks! Keep coming back!

Butter Chicken, For Real!

Last night - mission accomplished! We had the Costco butter chicken.

Not too shabbly - pretty darn tasty.

I imagine we'll have it again. Well, I know we will, we have leftovers.

Tasty leftovers...

That is all!

Chow for now...

Nocturnal?

I suggested to Mrs. That Dan Guy somewhere around 3:00 AM this morning that I am nocturnal, as an explanation for being up most of the night.

She laughed her fool head off - and so now I must try to find evidence to support that theory.

I do tend to suffer from a bit of insomnia, but that is due mostly to my brain, which operates best in the wee hours of the morning.

Hey, maybe my brain is nocturnal!?!?

You know, I had better surf the Googler for this sort of thing - I may be part of history's great nocturnal brain brotherhood!!

Yes, I must go find out more - this is .... is .... suddenly ...  very  .... sleepy...

Zzzzzzzzzzzz.........................

(chow for now...)

Butter Chicken..

As opposed to battered, deep-fried, seven secret spices chicken, tonight Mrs. That Dan Guy has convinced me to try butter chicken for dinner.  It is lurking in the fridge as we speak...

I think I may have tried a homemade version of this dish at a buffet last year, but still - actually going all exotic for real?

Hope I survive...this is new territory for a guy that find whole wheat bread radical....

Chow for now!

Butter chow later..............

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger, actor (uncredited, extra, cameo...) Charlie Chicken...)

Howdy, Cluckers!

Yeah, Ole Charlie in yet another starrin' role - in tha latest Muppets movie. I didn't get a scene with tha guy frum How I Met You, Mutha, but Fozzie wuz still pretty cool.

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Altho, in this pic, we weren't actin' - FYU, don't mess with Fozzie's honey....

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Yeah, I like ta get these ohkayshunal roles in flickers, justa help keep me in tha lifestyle I've grown akkustumed to. 

Pretty much squattin' in a hooman household, foragin' fer booze when they're out...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Now, pleeze excuse me, I gotta go preepair fer ma next oddition. I'm hopin' ta get in either a new Will Ferrell movie, or one a them cookin' films - like Tha Bourne Leg-a-Cee...

Drumstick!!

Cluck fer now....

We've Got Shakes, We've Got Fries...

Is it wrong to be thinking about Big Macs and milkshakes at breakfast time?? That can't be a good thing.

I had better hug a banana, or have another Christmas Mandarin orange - which in retrospect might be why I'm dreaming of burgers and fries at 7 in the morning - too many oranges with stocking fur on them!!

Oh - forgot hot apple pies!!

Ooh my!!!

Mickey D!!!

MICKEY D!!!!

Apologies....

Chow for now.

"Go Ahead - Jump"

Van Halen's classic advice to aspiring divers - still gets me every time I hear it....

Chow for now!

It Begins Anew

Well, every year we worry if we have failed to take advantage of whatever the Number 11 is trying to get through to us relentlessly. This year starts off with a bang, as we saw 11's everywhere on Jan 1 - even from our new dry cleaner (above). Or maybe that's the local KFC, hard to recall. Incidentlly, that picture shows as Pic 22 (11+11)........

At any rate, even just coming downstairs this morning, the first thing I see as I pass by the television is a player wearing a jersey with...the number 11.

Clearly, the Universe is trying to get some sort of message out to us, and we just need to figure out what it is. As long we we don't end up owing the Universe any money.

Even $11.11.............................

Chow for now!

Two Hit Wonders Cast Interview - Podcast Version

Well, I finally had a chance during the holiday break to spend some time re-editing my Stage West Calgary cast interview for the Two Hit Wonders production.

Cut down to under half an hour, this combination of the two I have posted now on my Youtube channel seems a bit breezier, plus you can load this one to your devices, from i-Tunes (thatdanguy's podcast).

Hope you enjoy!

Now, on to the next one!

Two Hit Wonders Cast 2012

Chow for now....

Oh yeah - Happy New Year!

I think 2013 is gonna be amazing!!