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Saturday, August 30, 2014

Chicken Scratch


(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken...)

Ah'm changin' mah ways, fellow hoomans - ole Charlie has seen tha light - LITTERALLY!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Lass night, aftur findin' sum 25-yeer old Scotch hidden under a box of file folders in that home office, ah wiz unwindin' with a ceegar and mindin' mah own bizniss, when ah must passed out, outta sheer eggshaustion.

When ah awoke, ah realized ah musta hadda heart attack or sumthin' while I wiz asleep - ah could see mahself inna tunnel, and tha light wuz comin' tawards me!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Then, just as tha lite got even brighter - that's when ah saw him - GOD!!

Standin' right before me, wearing' a baseball cap and a lousy mustache he musta been test-driving fer teenagers with too much acne - it wuz Tha Big Guy!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Well, lemme tell ya, ah sure came back ta life inna hurry - ah shook mah pinfeathers, flapped mah little chicken wings, and realized it must been a bad dream - go figger, considerin' wut shoulda been fine, fine aged booze!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

He did reach down frum tha heavens though - because ah seem ta have fingerprints on mah neck where he tried to bring me back ta life - thank God he wuz successful!

That's it - I'm goin' ta church tamorrow mornin' - this bird is gonna be clucking' a new tune!!

Haileeloolyah!!

Cluck fer now!! 

  



2 comments:

Mrs That Dan Guy said...

Oh super! Like crazy Charlie isn't enough, he now has referred to Mr. That Dan Guy as "God"? Now both will have a swelled head. Super.
Ah, Charlie, I hate to break it to you, but I think "The BIg Guy" you think saved your life, was finally ringing your neck!

ThatDanGuy said...

What can I say? The bird knows his deities.