I’m starting to wonder if it’s not too late. Too late for me to maybe consider becoming an Ironman triathlete…

What’s involved in those competitions? A bit of running; a few feet of bicycling, and then a brisk, refreshing swim?? What’s so hard about that??

Even being a bit on the husky side, I’m pretty sure that I could handle all of those hurdles, depending on the length or duration of each portion of the event and the actual existence of hurdles on the route. I’ve never been much of a jumper. Unless you count when Mrs. That Dan Guy needs me to repair something in the house, then I put on my superhero cape, and jump right on that.

First off – running. I’ve got some experience there. I imagine you may even call me a bit of a gazelle, if you were to see me sprinting out of bed in the morning, eager to embrace the day. With a bit of focused training, I could be part Kenyan on the racetrack. Especially if you had a car with a box of donuts driving just ahead of me – THERE’S some motivation!!

Next, bicycling. Boy, did I ever bicycle as a kid. As an adult, I wasn’t particularly fond of where the bicycle seat seemed to keep intruding, so I grew less fond of that exercise. I’m sure that with a bit of remedial effort (and thicker bicycle shorts), I could be the Lunch Armstrong of the Ironman bicycle circuit.

Finally, the swimming portion of the competition. Who doesn’t enjoy a refreshing swim? I’m buoyant by nature, so I would just have to learn how to propel more efficiently. Surely they must have invented more aerodynamic water-wings by now? And, as luck would have it, I’ve been looking for a reason to shave my chest and arms – this HAS to be it!!

So there you have it. Even as an elderly competitor, I think I have a pretty good chance.

Better find some time to hit the gym later this afternoon…

Chow for now!!