Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken...)

AH'M RICH!!

AH'M RICH!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Ah foun tha loss treyzures a Pop Recyclin'!

Ah'm swimmim' in money, juss like Scrooge McDuck!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

How will ah spend this welth??

Booze??

Chicks??

Poultry bump cream??

Mah head is swimmim'!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Now...uhh...kin ah get a hand draggin' this out tha door??

Please??

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Cluck fer now......

Calgary Folk Club April 19, 2013

Calgary Folk Club

04 19 13

Pear

with Joe Nolan

"Reviews Before Noon": Calgary Folk Club

April 19, 2013 (Season Finale)

Pear, with Joe Nolan

What a way to wrap the Calgary Folk Club's 41st season - which for me featured two highly acclaimed  artists I had yet to see perform live. For fans of the club, it was a chance to revisit members of their former house band that now make up the compact nucleus of Pear. 

To say Lynae and Denis Dufresne are popular with fans is such an understatement. Since receiving the good fortune to attend and review these shows, I've never had such responses to my live tweets. I picked up several new followers, and many of my comments were re-tweeted hastily as the show sadly drew towards a conclusion. The fans of Pear are numerous, and dedicated!

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Opener Joe Nolan was another fast favourite, with his intense but gentle stage presence and songs...

It's funny, during his first few songs, I was trying to pin down his influences. He does look a little bit like a young Tom Waits, and his vocal stylings are a little similar (if Tom ever had that gruff, raspy throat problem of his looked at). 

Then, lo and behold, Mr. Nolan covered Waits' "Cold Water". Just one of several "could-have-heard-a-pin-drop" moments in his set.

To be fair, Joe has more in common in his songwriting with classic passionate Bruce Cockburn efforts - insightful and effective in conveying what he wants to say. His opening number (a new song - have to wait for the upcoming new album...) "Bleeding" was a perfect example, as was "Shambles". He knows his way up and down the fretboard of his guitar, has a great voice, and I think will quickly become a songwriter to be reckoned with, like fellow Canuck Ron Sexsmith. 

I see in his cd's liner notes that he worked on his first release with veteran Canadian roots artist and producer Colin Linden, and his upcoming album features Marco Giovanni, the drummer for Robert Plant's band House of Joy and also with Robert's project with bluegrass star Alison Krauss. That collaboration worked pretty well for Plant and Krauss, here's hoping Joe gleans some magic as well...

Click here for a link to Joe Nolan's website.

Headliners Pear were warmly welcomed, especially once they kicked into unofficial club anthem "Wild Rover"

"Never Looking Back" had a Rankin Family feel, but the rich harmonies between Lynae and Denis are all their own - shimmering, synchronized and soaring. The success they are enjoying is clearly well-deserved...

During a killer cover of Dolly Parton's "Jolene", I tweeted out a comment about how "finger-pickin' good" it was. The two are award-winning instrumentalists as well as being talented singers. Backed up last night by another award-winner (drummer Craig Bignell on guitar, banjo and a bongo on steroids), this evening was just a showcase of original music in the first set, and some nifty covers in the second.

The covers were something else - among them a mash-up of The Beatles "Ob La Di Ob La Da" with Psy's "Gangnam Style". With fiddles. 

Segments of others, like Simon & Garfunkle's "Sounds Of Silence", and a rendition of the late Patti Page's iconic "Tennessee Waltz" that would have been right at home on an Alison Krauss album. 

Above all that as a highlight for me was a dual fiddle mash-up of "Eleanor Rigby" and "Smooth Criminal". Commit that performance to disc, people!!!!

How much do fans love Pear? There is a legend among the organizers of The Calgary Folk Club of a 10:30 PM Exodus, no slight to the artists, but a habit of patrons sneaking out after the first headlining set. 

Close to midnight last night when this show finally wrapped up, it was still a full house, with a couple of standing ovations indicating nobody wanted to go home anytime soon. I suspect Pear will be returning in the not-so-distant future, when plans are in the works for upcoming seasons...

Find out more if you're one of the few that hasn't heard of Pear by clicking here. 

 You can find out more about the similarly talented Craig Bignell by clicking on his highlighted name.

Season 42 is pretty much firmed up for the Calgary Folk Club. Visit their website, and pick up your season tickets - it is an experience every time the doors are opened.

A special thanks to the board, including Suze Casey and General Manager Donna McTaggart for allowing me to review the shows. It has been eye-opening for this long-time music fan...

Later!

Life Before The Remote

I remember the early audio visual remote controls, which were wired. Can you imagine a long wire attached to your TV or VCR?

I did manage to leave snacks along the pathway of that wire, so as to lasso treats and draw them closer when I desired a wee taste of candy or pretzels. However, the wire was limited in range, and risky - especially during commercial break stampedes to the washroom.

Now, technology has freed us from our wires. Unless a battery dies, then one is forced to get up and do adjustments manually, like cavemen did. With all our advances, we are still so vulnerable as humans...

I guess you are discovering along with me right now that I never really did have a point in this reminiscence.

However, I now have a blog post. Such as it is....

Later!!

Guts

...feel like mine are twisted. If I'm right about my diverticulitis returning, I am going to have to change my diet in a heck of a hurry.

Had a pretty rough night last night, getting up for around an hour sometime about 2:22 AM. Major indigestion. Felt like there was a tennis ball blocking my sewer, if you know what I mean...

After a variety of over-the-counter chew pills, I finally got back to sleep, but that alarm was a real sonofabitch when it started going off.

Moving a little slowly, but moving nonetheless.

Hey, Mrs. That Dan Guy gets back from Kananaskis today! Guess I'll have to shave, or maybe pick up a few things that have been lying around the house the last few days....

Later!

April 17, 2007 (16th, Actually)

So, what was I doing back on this very day back in 2007?

Well, thanks to daily blogs going back to 2006, I am able to tell you exactly what  I WAS doing!

However, that April 17 blog post refers to the one the day before, where history is currently (and sadly) repeating itself:

April 16, 2007

The reference is to our struggling NHL Calgary Flames, who got into the playoffs that year. Not so sure that will happen this year. Regardless, the song remains the same all these years later. Hence the rebuild underway.

Hopefully I won't be singing the same song in another 6 years!!!!

Later!

Alpo

With Lorne Greene and Ed McMahon both gone from this mortal coil, do dogs and their owners still find a way to discover Alpo?

Was this the stroke of fortune in timing for Kibbles & Bits to dominate the market, and fill the gaps that advertising commercials with well-known celebrities once afforded to Alpo?

Without having owned a dog since I was in my 20's - why do I even care???

THAT would be the bigger question......

Later.

The Future Is Unfolding

Changed the sheets on the bed. Now, my immediate future plans are being taken over by unfolding clean sheets, and putting them on the bed.

Later!

Springtime In Alberta

Ahh, Springtime In Alberta...

The birds are singing - in a coal mine somewhere in North Carolina - here they're frozen solid like Christmas turkeys in the supermarket...

I'll have a BBQ for dinner - in that one week during August that the snow briefly melts...

The grass is green and lush - on my indoor mini-putting green. Outside, it's currently buried under

 7-11 cms of fresh snow - not a single Slurpee in sight... 

I may go suntan this afternoon - in front of my open microwave...

The kids will be playing outdoors all day! Hey, where else do baby goats play??

Gonna play some softball tonight...Lobbing snowballs at that miserable Canadian prairie clown Ole Man Winter...

Springtime In Alberta - winter anywhere else...

Later!

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken...)

Hey!

Lookit me!

Ah'm a chicken - get it??

I gotsa comb, so's ah'm a chicken!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Wut's that??

Oh.........

Well, carry on.....

Cluck fer now!

On The Next Episode Of...

"Survivor: The Bachelor (Season XXVIII )Versus Hell's Kitchen's Lead Dishwasher"

Sequestered in a NYC loft's kitchen, Sebastien attempts to embarrass famed winner of HK's Lead Dishwasher, Grotto Kanary.

In this episode the Immunity Challenge includes crafting a comprehensive grocery list, clapping whilst chewing gum, and Best Profile In Hallway Mirror.

The NY Times gushes "TV that simply compels viewers". USA Today headline screams "JUST TRY NOT WATCHING THIS, SUCKAS!!!!". Cosmo proclaims "TV has reached a pinnacle with this series".

Don't miss out.

And later this week, Storage Wars Oxnard joins forces with a special cast of Dancing With The Stars: Animated Character Edition to make TV history with the first ever Salsa competition in a 10 x 10 locker just off the sprawling Oxnard airport tarmac. Jay Leno hosts a car rally before the episode - catch him before he returns to host the Tonight Show in 2015!!

Later!

Ducks In A Row...

It is kind of exciting to be seeing a few pieces of my life puzzle fall into place. Well, possibly...

I hope I like this new doctor that I will be seeing soon. I will be pitching hard to get referred to an endocrinologist, so as to best manage my diabetes. I'm curious to see what my A1C will look like, as it has been high for a few consecutive periods of testing.

I have a few outstanding interviews to schedule, so once this week is behind me, I will work in earnest to get those done and posted.

And, I hope to take pictures of my potato chip shaped like a duck, and get that posted on eBay. People have made a small fortune with ridiculous items like that available online, so I'm hoping my piece of the American dream might just be in the shape of a duck. For people that have known me a long time, that would be appropriate.

Off and running!

Later.....

Holy Dilated Pupils, Batman!

Yesterday I had my annual eye exam, for which I will confess there was some degree of dread going in. My diabetes control is not great right now.

Happily, there is no damage to  my retinas, and the bonus from yesterday was that my eye doctor recommended a doctor in the area that might be taking new patients. Which he was, so I will be able to get my prescriptions renewed and hopefully even get a referral to an endocrinologist. Gotta stay on top of that dang diabetes....

Also, I got to spend the bulk of the day in sunglasses, as my pupils were as wide as if I had been on Willie Nelson's tour bus for a week. It just so happened to be the sunniest day of the year so far yesterday, so I had to do my best mole impression in the car, until we got back home and I could relax in a darkened room.

Holey moley.....

Later!

Dan St.Yves Meets Richard Karn (REM)

Found this article online while home sick yesterday - seems like an interesting read :-)

REM column

Home sick yesterday, going for my annual eye exam today. Back at the grind tomorrow!

Later..............

Home Sick

No, not missing home. Actually, sick. At home...

Blech.....

Later.

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie D. Chicken...)

Okay.....

Less put things in pursepective here....

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Yes, ah did help mahself ta a chocolate rabbit - guilty....

In ma defense, it WUZ hidden in tha laundry room, unner a stack a ole newspapers. Ah thought mebbe ah had ta PROTECKT tha hoomans here, ba consoomin' that kinda rotten ole food product...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

It wuz kinda fresh when I ated it, I will admit...

But, if Banjo Boy is tuckin' treets aroun tha house, does that make ME tha crimmimal????

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

I suggest - NO!

We will agree to dissagree.....

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Say, can a bird get a bagel up in here??

No??

Nertz.........

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Cluck fer now.....

Calgary Folk Club: Chic Gamine with Lucas Chaisson

Calgary Folk Club 04 05 13

Chic Gamine

Lucas Chaisson

The Saturday Morning "Somebody-Asked-Me-To, So-Here-I-Go" Entertainment Review"

Calgary Folk Club

April 5, 2013

Chic Gamine

Lucas Chaisson

It's not going to be terribly hard to try finding praise for an evening of wonderful artistry from two talented acts I had not seen nor heard before. Both Chic Gamine (from my hometown of Winnipeg), and Albertan Lucas Chaisson (pictured below) impressed the Calgary Folk Club audience with amazing singing, songwriting and musicianship skills.  

Chaisson opened the evening with retro, tremelo-filled sounds on his electric acoustic guitar. "My Lover, My Ghost", showcased his guitar skills (that only got better as the night went on) , reminding me a bit of local musician Steve Pineo, with just a shade of John Hiatt's vocal sounds. Actually, he could sound quite a bit like the lead vocalist for The Zac Brown Band at times - I really should find out that gentleman's name, I'm quite a fan...

 Over the course of his allotted time, Mr. Chaisson showcased some bluesy folk from two of his albums, including his most recent release "Growing Pains".  Along the way, he demonstrated a quick sense of humour, and particularly wowed on his cover of Curtis Mayfield's "People Get Ready". That song is on the latest CD.

Check out Lucas on his site. 

Main act Chic Gamine wasted no time letting us know what to expect. From second song "Closer" through two pleasingly diverse sets, I discovered a sound that I am going to call "Retro Modern". If that's already a thing, I apologize...

A blend of styles in that particular song of The Chordettes meet Duffy, these four ladies (along with their rhythmist and official jar opener Sacha Daoud) did something last night I don't think I've ever seen before - harmonize with vocals so distinct you could identify each singer during the harmonies. Outstanding...

From the bio in the club newsletter, they are indeed four lead vocalists, and in some respects, like during the stunningly lush "Paper Moon", a bit of an A capella Andrews Sisters, bringing sounds of the Forties into today. Hey, that's Spell-Check's version, I still prefer acapella..

However, as they pointed out, that isn't exactly accurate as they incorporate drums, hand instruments, keyboards and guitar, along with one official spotlight for The Winnipeg Triangle Orchestra. 

Juno Winners for Best Roots Album of 2009, Chic Gamine includes Ariane Jean, Andrina Turenne, Annick Bremault, Alexa Dirks, and lone testosterone carrier Sacha Daoud. 

Together, they have forged a sound that combines sounds from the last 60 years, and sounds like Amy Winehouse could have had a hand in the proceedings.  

There was also a healthy offering of French selections, and I have to wonder how this group might be able to update the ground-breaking Lucille Starr's  "The French Song", that was a break-out pop hit with both French and English lyrics. Just sayin'... 

I had to pick up both their albums afterwards last night. I hope I didn't make the wrong decision by not also snagging "Closer", which I was told was a remastered version of City City. 

Visit their website to pick up your own copies, or see them live if they are in your area!

And there is only one show left in this season at The Calgary Folk Club, which I expect will be a fitting end to what has been eye-opening for me this year. Don't miss your chance to discover amazing artists, in a truly unique setting.

Later!

SOS Doctors....

Well, yesterday was a washout, trying to get my prescriptions renewed.

I went to a new clinic that we registered for months ago, and have not yet heard back from. No luck, apparently after having to prompt from the medical office assistant what time they were open until, and clearly probing to find out IF THEY COULD SEE ME WHICH IS WHY I WAS STANDING THERE, I was informed they were not taking any more appointments. Funny, we're told to keep our visits short, yet an empty waiting room is an apparent challenge to their ability to help facilitate patients.

That's Strike Two for these turkeys, so I am done hoping they will grace me with the wonder of their awesomeness.

From there, I went to my old walk-in clinic, and was informed that even though they were open for several more hours, they in fact had NO DOCTORS in that day. Excellent. A good opportunity for the staff to catch up on their saved Solitaire games.

Also why I am looking for a new doctor...

I had already asked a diabetes nurse I'd seen in the past for some help, but no response, after a week of waiting. So, I am going to have to find a new clinic, and a new doctor again.  And as a person affected by diabetes, I will request a professional that actually runs a practice, for the purpose of having patients.

I also need to find someone pronto, as I am running out of my medications.....

Calgary Folk Club tonight, review tomorrow morning!

Later!

Chic Gamine?

Hello Winnipeg family and peeps!

Any buzz on a local band - Chic Gamine? We'll be seeing them tomorrow night, with my review to follow Saturday morning. From their website, it looks like they will bring a terrific show to Calgary - not like we've been disappointed yet with our evenings at the enduring Calgary Folk Club!

Other than that, just for the record, I am searching Kijiji for a voodoo doll that could be used as a stand-in for Old Man Winter. With more snow yesterday, and more possibly on the way, I am hoping to harpoon this doll into submission, or at least direct him to say...Regina.

If you have a line on something that will work, please let me know asap...

Thanks!

Later.......

Atmospheric Headaches

Man, we have been living in Calgary for several years now, but only recently have I fallen victim to what is a common occurrence for many residents - headaches when Chinooks or pressure systems roll into town.

Yesterday, we curved from warm weather into below zero, and snow overnight. During that conversion, I wrestled with a brutal headache. Not quite a migraine like other sufferers, but still - I could barely count to twelve without having to stop and rest between the numbers!

Well, now I get to look forward to a commute in fresh snow, so maybe that will give the Tylenol time to kick in?

Oy......

Later!

For The Birds

You know, it's bad enough we have a blogging rubber chicken around the house, now the annual stove vent bird nesting has returned!

Mrs. That Dan Guy heard bird chirping sounds in our range vent the other day, indicating that after our post-chick-birth eviction last year, the tweeting freeloaders had returned. We thought that was the humane route to take, until I was making breakfast one morning, and turned on the vent fan.

That's when the feathers flew. All over our cooking...

I posted back then shot of the next inside the vent. Not fun to clear out.

So, this year I opted to take a preemptive move. I taped a paper plate over the vent, whatever you call the thing that is on our outside wall, and clearly no challenge for creative birds looking for free lodging.

Four days later, no chirps. I think I managed to discourage their sublet.

Back to just plastic poultry, bad enough as that is!

Later!

Getting Sorted....

I'm off work today, as part of the deal-io with my full-time employer's holiday schedule.

So, I'm trying to get on top of several projects that have been slipping through the cracks...chasms...gulleys....

OK, Grand Canyon...

However, I made good headway on some deadline items yesterday, and I've got tasks sorted in priorities to make my way through today. Should be another great day of getting stuff done.

Just have to set the PVR for today's recordings...




Oh-oh....

"The Price Is Right"??

"Let's Make A Deal"????

Oh boy............

Later!!

Phil Spectre

Well, we watched a new movie on the PVR last night. Quite a disappointment.

First off, even though the title made it sound like a "Casper The Friendly Ghost"-style cartoon, it was not even animated. Throughout the entire movie, there was nary a ghost to be "seen"....

Second...

Uhh...second...

I guess I really don't have a second complaint. Just be aware that the HBO movie Phil Spectre is NOT a ghost cartoon. Good soundtrack though....

Chow for now!

Chicken Scratch - The Easter Guard

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie D. Chicken...)

Howdy hoomans, ess peshully all youse Easter peeples...

Ah'm spendin' ma day taday guarding this here Easter rabbit, which rose from a cave, only ta feer fer his life, frum hooman cannibals that eet eers.

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

At leest, ah think he rose from a cave - cooda been a burrow, ain't that wear rabbits live??

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Ah'm also celebreightin' Easter by watchin' a Vanilla Ice Ice Baby marathon - nothin' says Easter like a washed-up rapper renovatin' houses!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Ah may also watch tha Ten Commandos, a ackshun movie about a magishun that makes turtles rain down, an such. I think thas wut happens - it's been a long time since I saw it last. Kinda like tha Amazin' Race, but in tha desert. With slow peeple in sandals an dresses....

Cluck me - now ah feel like sum dessert.....

Hey, how come there ain't no Easter turtles??

I gots wut yewd call a inkuizzitive mind....

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

HEY!!!!!

Where'd tha rabbit go??

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

THIEF!!!

Sum juan stole ma rabbit!! Call tha cops!!!

Uhh..I gotta go peeples - I need ta solve this crime before ma boss gets back.....

Wut tha cluck......

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Cluck fer now.......

Singing In The Shower

Sorry, typo - that should have read "singeing" in the shower - too much hot water!

Chow for now...............

Flame - Out!

We were out last night and happened across a Calgary Flames jersey on display, which just happened to have team captain Jerome Iginla's name and number on it.

I took a picture and Tweeted it, as speculation was running rampant that he had been traded. Well, indeed he had been. He's off to Pittsburgh, so that he has a chance to win a Stanley Cup before his prolific career comes to an end.

In return - we get question marks. The only certainty that appears to be completely clear is that we won't even make the playoffs this year.

Unlike the division leading Winnipeg Jets.....

Mmm...who to cheer for?????

Chow for now!

I've Still Got Six-Pack Abs!

Yes, after decades of unhealthy living, I have recently confirmed that I still have six-pack, rock hard abs. Thank you, ultra-sound!

To protect these assets, I have added a bit of a Great Wall in front of them. My "spare tire" will prevent any damage, although it does make viewings....uhh...completely impossible.

However, I know that the abs are there, solid as a rock - and that's all that counts....

Chow for now!

Look Away, It's Beastly....

Good Lord....

When will I learn?

I need to either start planning a few topics to blog about every morning, or start watching the news like real people in humour/comedy do. At least then I wouldn't have posts like yesterday's abysmal attempt to keep my "consecutive days" streak alive - like that's an actual thing!!

I looked at my Google Analytics this morning, and there was an understandable dip in my recent page views (is it really possible to have page views in the negative?? WTF???), with my ever-so-brief dissertation on free association. Or what was apparently a poorly received post on free association.

Oh well, live and learn. I do try to keep these daily writings both daily, and impromptu - but sometimes my Muse has gone out of province somewhere for breakfast, leaving me floundering to my imagination. Which yesterday appears to have joined the Muse for a Denny's deal somewhere in Oklahoma.

Nobody said this was going to be easy. The crickets are keeping me awake at least............

Chow for now!

Free Association

Cats

Fur

Toenails

Cheese

Mice

Cats

Very circular......

Chow for now!

Erma Bombeck Workshop, Final Day - 2006

So, what was I doing on this very day back in 2006?

Apparently, packing my suitcase, as we departed Dayton Ohio, and my first-ever Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop:

Last Day Of The Conference :-(


I see that back then, even with short posts here typos could get right past my copy editor. After 7 years, he has improved only slightly...

I attended one more of those amazing writing events before having to pass on the last two.

If I can get my butt down to the upcoming NSNC conference this year as planned, it will be a fine bell-weather for getting to attend the next EBWW.

And that's This Day In Blog History for today....

Chow for now!

Chicken Scratch

STOP THA BATTERIN"!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

When will tha heartless hoomans leave us chickens be??

How kin hoomanity be SOOO obsesses with batterin' chickens??

Let alone poor, dee-fence-less chicken BALLS??

YOWCHIE!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Ma eyeballs is googleyin' right outta ma head!!

Read tha description, peeples!!

UNCOOKED! - Juss plucked from tha "vine", dipped in batter, and SERVED TA HOOMANS!!!!

CANNIBALS!!!!

AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Ah kin barely cintrol ma shakin' - ah could stir a can a cluckin' paint right now juss by ma bodily vibe rayshuns!!!!

How wood you like it if ah decided ta batter YER balls???

Huh??

HUH????

Cluckin'  savages.....

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

I need ta lie down...ah think ma taylebone is quiverin'.....

Cluck fer now....oh, an mebbe you should sleep with one eye open.

Murderers......

Pencil

Oddly enough, Blogger uses a pencil icon for new posts.

Better than a feather quill and ink pot I suppose....

Have a great weekend y'all!!

Chow for now...

Raspberry Beret

First off, where the hell do you find a raspberry big enough to make a beret out of it?

Second, what's the shelf life of a raspberry beret, if you don't keep it refrigerated?

Finally, can you get them new, or only at the second-hand store?

Before I run out and get myself a raspberry beret, I need answers to a few of those questions....

Chow for now.

Isn't About Time We Introduce Another Vowel?

Typically, everything improves over time. "New" Tide. "New" Coke. Reality TV.

OK, a couple of those should have really been avoided, but you get my drift...

So how is that all these years (decades?) (centuries??) later, we still have only a handful of vowels for viewers of Wheel Of Fortune to purchase??

A, E, I, O, U - and sometime Y.

Sometimes Y? Let's just promote the goddam vowel and get it over with. Then, we should either convert a consonant or two, or come up with a few new vowels.

We could name them after someone famous, if that would speed up the process. JT has a new album, and his initials sound like vowels. Bjork makes a j sound like a vowel, so that's one that could be promoted.

Or, we could make some up. How about ^, }, or ~???

As always, I appreciate your input. Submit it to the address below in a plain white envelope, along with the $20. fee that will be required to submit the paperwork.

You could be part of history here.

Just sayin'....

Chow for now!

Rnadom 11 Sighting Of The Day

Today's Random 11 Sighting Of The Day is perhaps the most common of all - 11:11 on a digital clock.

As I seem to be gathering a substantial collection of 11 photos, I thought it might be interesting to post a few.

Well, not so much useful as it is helpful to me, when I've got this blasted daily posting obligation...

You're welcome!!

Chow for now...

Top Two Posts Here...

Opposite ends of the spectrum, to say the least...

My top two posts as of this morning are:

1) My latest review from The Calgary Folk Club,
2) My Yodelling Pickle Video.

Clearly, I must load the pickle onto YouTube - it could perhaps be my Gangnam Style!

Other than that, a blend of miscellaneous posts make up the Top Ten, further confirming that there is no logic whatsoever when it comes to figuring out online readers....

Further to yesterday's post on my 7 years of doing this task, it is funny how things circle back. In my first year, I ended up getting to meet legendary humour columnist Dave Barry at a writer's conference. That may happen again if our economic recovery allows for me to attend my first writer's conference in about three years...he is scheduled to receive an award at the upcoming NSNC conference in Hartford.

Fingers crossed!!

Chow for now!

Happy Blog Anniversary - 7 years!!

Where does the time go?

This bonus post today is in celebration of my very first post, back on this day in 2006!

First Blog Entry

Much has happened since then - event reviews, travel posts, an alcoholic chicken guest blogger...

But much like back then, the same things are on my mind:

"Who the hell would read this stuff???"

Chow for now!!

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken...)

That there chicken don look like any chickens i usedta see on tha farm!!

Shiny show-off.....

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Tha bottom picher is what he looked like when I first spotted him, trying ta hatch indigestshun pills - wut a putz!!

Up top, well, ya probably don wanna know how THAT picher came about...

Although, discoverin'  he was maid a CHOCOLATE might take a bit of tha gross ness outta seeing a peeled chicken!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

I've come ta learn it was a Eatser chicken - like many of tha earless bunnies that pass through these doors, kinda eye-ronik considering tha diabetes here in this joint.....

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Stoopid hoomans...

Well, as long as ah keeps ma own skin on, they kin dispose uv all tha choklit ammimals they wanna...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

oh-oh...

Guess ma breakfist burreato is givin' me some grief....gotta trot!!

later, chumps!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Cluck fer now....

Calgary Folk Club 03 15 13

The Calgary Folk Club

03 15 13

Brother Sun, 

with Quinn & Qristina

The Saturday Morning "Somebody-Asked-Me-To, So-Here-I-Go" Entertainment Review:

The Calgary Folk Club

March 15, 2013

Brother Sun

(Pat Wictor, Greg Greenway, Joe Jencks)

with

Quinn & Qristina

Well, you may need to top up your coffee, I fear this particular review is going to be a lengthy one...

First off, what a perfect blend of artists for an evening of fine, diverse folk music. There really was something for everyone in the audience over three stellar sets of songs and stories last night at The Calgary Folk Club.

Opening act Quinn & Qristina sounded as if they just stepped off a fishing boat from the east coast with  sizzling fiddle and guitar to start their portion of the show. The surprise there is that they based on the OTHER coast, specifically Victoria BC. Not to quibble, these two young talents are both incredible instrumentalists, with a confident grasp of the stage and their audience. 

In particular, I was a fan of a segment with a nifty Irish tenor banjo, and "Shady Grove", a slinky blues fiddle workout - something you don't often find yourself describing in a whole lot of concert reviews...

The couple easily balanced tender gentle moments along with jigs and reels - and particularly creative work on their instruments - short bow plucks on the fiddle, and some harmonics on guitar. As a brother and sister, the familial exchanges added warmth to the experience. Although when my sister and I strummed badminton rackets in OUR basement, nothing like the sounds Q & Q created ever emerged, or prompted either of us to consider a career like these two have... 

Find out more for yourselves at their website! No surprise that they are already needing to expand their trophy case...

After a break, Brother Sun stormed the stage with an a Capella opener that was followed up by something that might have come straight from the Crosby, Stills, Nash songbook. The trio wowed the audience with seasoned individual voices for sure, but once those harmonies united...wow...

  

The CSN comparison is just one way to try and paint a stylistic image of their united voices. Their "Highway 4AM (Driving)" had overtones of Restless Heart, and the first set closer "Shine" brought me right back to seeing The Band live. Songs like "St. Christopher", "The House That Jack Built", and the (sorry, not even a little bit of an exaggeration) stunning "Lady Of The Harbor" wouldn't be out of place in the Stan Rogers canon. 

Actually, for three Americans from Brooklyn, Chicago and Boston, Canada got a lot of love last night. There was a shout-out to the late Stompin' Tom Connors, and a performance of Dave Gunning's "These Hands" to follow up on actually seeing him perform it a few weeks ago. Surreal...

Note: this was their first Canadian tour. This might also be their first Canadian review.

I'll go over just a few of the highlights here: every single song. That's right, every single song. A remarkable performance of "In The Name Of Love". A hilarious doo-wop on Fox News. The semi-spiritual "Go Tell Mary".  As strong as each individual member is, the combination of their talents is absolutely compelling. I joked on Twitter that as the night wore on, I checked the two CDs I bought to make sure that all the songs were coming home with me. Happily, most did.

This is a group that brings so many diverse sounds and influences together to make something entirely original, and yet instantly familiar. It should be illegal to not own a copy of "Some Part Of The Truth". Incidentally, now available everywhere fine music is sold...

Discover Brother Sun online, and as the new season tickets are currently on sale, make sure you get in by visiting The Calgary Folk Club yourself!

Free Money!

Yes, I am joining the campaign to free Money, the hairless gerbil being held against his will in a goldfish bowl.

Poor Money has no exercise wheel, and his wood shavings are made from paneling.

Which is still far better than the sad case of Rusty the goldfish, who lives in a gerbil cage, continues to bump into a small steel wheel whenever he swims around, and has no similar online campaign to set HIM free...

So please, help me in my efforts to have Money run free! Any amount, no matter how small, will bring us closer to seeing this poor gerbil out of the fishbowl of Dez Pare (his owner...), and into a proper home.

Free Money!!

(Chow for now...)

Ugly Coyote?

These things happen here...

We were driving along an industrial road in Calgary, and came across this little feller looking like he had just come through a car wash with the windows rolled down:

A coyote pup separated from his/her family...

Thanks to Mrs. That Dan Guy, we now know how to report a coyote sighting, and we have the number to The Coyote Hotline on a sticky note in our vehicle.

"Hello, Coyote Hotline, how may I direct your call?

Sir, you need to stop growling, and speak clearly...

No, I cannot confirm that the proper way to eat a rabbit is by biting off the ears first..."

Just another day in the Such Is Life household...

Chow for now! 

I Love To...Clean???

My latest column, now live online:

Master Of The Carpet Sweeper

Perhaps I rejoice a bit too much about vacuums???

Chow for now!

The Yodelling Pickle

Panties Are #1!!

According to Google Analytics, my Top Three page views (as of this morning) are:

1) My Loose Moose Theatre "Kung Fu Panties Redux" review - by a wide, wide margin. I suspect many people surfing over are highly disappointed to discover that my post is NOT a review of ACTUAL panties.

2) My Calgary Folk Club review. I suspect many people surfing over are highly disappointed to discover that my post is NOT a review of ACTUAL clubs. Or folks....

3) My Stage West Calgary "Game Show" review - also last time I checked, that was the top Google search result - just sayin' .

There seems to be a bit of a theme developing......

Chow for now!

Kung Fu Panties Redux Review

Loose Moose Theatre

CalgaryAlberta Canada

"Kung Fu Panties Redux"

(photo courtesy of modern technology...)

(Finale cast photo with director Rebecca Northan, discreetly snapped from audience...)

The Sunday Morning "Somebody-Asked-Me-To, So-Here-I-Go" Theatre Review:

"Kung Fu Panties Redux"

Loose Moose Theatre

I couldn't possibly have cut this one any closer. Closing night, last performance after an extended run. So, you could consider this morning's write-up the absolute latest possible review of the show. As useful as mittens on a walrus...

I'd prefer if you read this and considered it the earliest possible review of the NEXT installment in this wildly popular stage production. Don't make the same mistake I nearly did in missing this second edition when it eventually returns to the theatre the next time around. Rest assured, it most definitely will be back....

Part Kill Bill. A nod to the Charlie's Angels film reboots. The tongue from Austin Power's cheek.  Campy ninjas that provide as many laughs as the rest of the cast. Kung Fu Panties Redux is (was?) "Hi-Yah!" hilarity on high heels!!

Of course, it is also specifically adult fun. There was more than a pinch of salty language and considerable sexiness for both the men and women in attendance. You won't see anyone snatch a pebble from Master Po's hand - but some anatomical references certainly substituted for that TV series omission for the audience...

On the sexiness theme again though, refer back to my comment on "camp". A relentlessly funny scene with male strippers possibly had an extra cast member out on stage - from where I was sitting it looked like one of the thongs malfunctioned, but I may just be nuts.... it could have been an upper thigh goiter?

The actors...I must apologize - without a program (and really bad Google search skills), I am unable to provide you with any cast names - but I would also be hesitant to single out any of the 11 members of this crack cast. Of course, the three ladies that make up this wee core of The Sisterhood were wonderful. As the criminal mastermind, _______ was a gas, and one scene with wires was especially memorable. 

As I say, the entire cast made this action adventure work, along with best possible use of staging, and well coordinated sound and lighting. I loved the creative laser segment, along with the sign-bearing ninja somewhat reminiscent of another character in A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum.

The full crowd in attendance clearly loved the show, and the five months of martial arts/stage fighting training paid off handsomely for the actors. No broken noses by the time the curtain fell! Literal acting chops...

I'm not sure how long this link will work, but you can find out more on something called Facebook: Kung Fu Panties Redux - you should also follow them on Twitter to get advance notice of future showings/editions.

For all things Moose, make sure you bookmark Loose Moose Theatre. Follow this legendary troupe and theatre on Twitter as well!

Chicken Scratch

(posted pretty much noon-ish by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken...)

Y-A-W-N......

If ma wings were longer, I could be sritchin' mahself right now...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Funny...mah left side is freezin' cold, but mah right side is warm as a goat in a bubble bath....

An, mah bed don't feel as lumpy as usual.....

Well, I guess  I'll juss get up anAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

(Thump)

AAAAWK..........

Cluck.

Fer...

Now.....

Aspirin???

Medic...........

Easter Rabbit Etiquette

This Easter, don't leave things to chance. Today, I will share the PROPER way to consume an Easter rabbit made of delicious milk chocolate.

First off, these rules apply for the solid bunnies as much as they do the wasted money you might spend on a hollow rabbit. In my humble opinion,  it should be a federal offense to omit the full amount of chocolate in holiday offerings. Just stuffing marshmallow inside is a sad attempt to deceive consumers...

Regardless, here are my tips:

1) Ears Away!!  Always, always bite off the ears first. One could almost survive on chocolate rabbit ears alone, but hang in - the rest of the bunny is indeed as delightful as those ears...

2) Eye C(onsume) You... If you feel guilt over an earless rabbit pleading at you with their eyes, you will appreciate this next tip. OFF WITH THE HEAD!! Remove that peering eyeball along with the rest of the bunny's noggin, and voila! No more guilt!

3) Getting A Leg Up - Into Your "Rabbit-Hole": If your chocolate rabbit has stayed in one place so far, ensure that the bunny will stick around longer by removing the bottom portion of the candy. Thumper? Hard to thump without those lucky rabbit's feet!

4) Free-For-All: After the aforementioned items have been removed, it is now appropriate to consume whatever your heart desires next. At this point, it should no longer resemble a rabbit anyhow. Even a PETA member should feel comfortable breaking off a piece and gnawing on it.

There you have it! This Easter, follow these simple rules to enjoy your chocolate rabbit to the utmost.

Chow for now!

Rejected Dwarves

Everyone remembers the original 7 dwarfs (thank Spell-check for THAT version) - Doc, Sneezy, Raspy, Ecru...

But were you aware that focus groups helped the original author determine that some other character needed to be cut, so as not to spoil the beloved cast that was ultimately assembled?

(I'm asking in case you might know that's actually true, because what I'm about to suggest likely never really happened...)

So, here we go - Snow White's Rejected Dwarf Companions:

Wilt The Stilt

Tuberculosis Ted

Gropey

Richard Simmons

Boozey

Gassy

Tom Cruise

Cannibal Carl

Touchy

Incontinent

(Chow for now..)

Post A Title

That is the default suggestion in the New Post Title Box, which does seem to make a lot of sense.

Title suggestions?

"War & Peas"??

"Pride & Pledge It Just"???

It is really meant to be a "grabber", something that lures readers to your site.

"Bieber.com"??

"Call Me, May Bea"??

"CSI Oxnard"??

I have been guilty in the past of luring viewers/readers with titles that have nothing to do with whatever I post - my bad!

"Winning Lottery Numbers"??

"An Teak Roads Oh"??

Unlimited Money - Free!!"???

Boy, it is really hard to choose just one....

Chow for now!

If Life Gives You Melons...

There's a pretty good chance you're dyslexic....

Or just a really bad speller...

Or, you're Pamela Anderson (sorry, I tried to leave that one out, I really did...)

Chow for now!

Retired Pope Projects..

First off, thanks to Mrs. That Dan Guy for her comments on an earlier Retired Pope post, which was the inspiration for today's column...

I'm not really sure what opportunities "Eggs" Benny will explore, but here are a couple of possible TV roles:

1) Revive a 90's video show feature, call it "Pope-Up" Video this time. The hook? Jabs at pop culture in Latin!

2) Pope In Space - based on the popular tweets of Cmdr. Hadfield from the Space Station (or wherever he's tweeting from, I just enjoy his photos), the Lingering Pope could also post inspirational pics, from miles above the Earth!

3) My most likely guess - either "Golden Pope", or "Pope In The House". The retired pope sharing a retirement home in Florida with beloved actor John Mahoney (Martin - "Frasier") and Bill Cosby ("Cosby"). Doorways too short for his hat; one washroom, three men - the laughs are endless! Thursday nights on ABC....

Chow for now....

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken McNuggets...)

Wut tha cluck????

Who let winner back in?? It was like summer aroun' here tha lass few days??

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Ah woke up this mornin' , an it's cluckin' Snowmaggedon!!! Ah can't even see ma bi- sickle on tha lawn!!

Or ma buddy Cornelius, who sleeps outside - tha sap!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Well, looks like ma plans to open ma lemmin-aid stand taday is dashed. Who's gunna buy ice drinks.....waaaaait a minute....Hot Rum Toddies anyone???

Perhaps a Saint Burned Ard with a kegga booze??

There muss be some way ta make a few bucks outta this dizaster....

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Ah could offer tows ta cars stuck in tha snow. I juss need a emurgincy call number, and a toe truck....

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Life kin be sew cruel ta entrapranoors....

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Of course, I could juss go back ta bed....

Yessir....

Like a bear, see ya in sumer!

Cluck fer now!