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Sunday, October 14, 2012

Chicken Scratch



(posted by guest blogger, Future Charlie - from the year 2062...)

Hello hoomans - and androids, A.I. Robotic Beings - and Cyborgs...

Well, ole Charlie woulda thought he'd be pushin' up daisies long ago by now, wut with ma drinkin' smokin' and frisky chick-inizin' - funny how that works! I've outlived most peepel I knew, and here I yam - still tickin'!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Turns out I musta pree-zerved ma innards or sumthin' - I'm tha pitcher a health!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Well, a dew hafta take sum lil blue pills fer...Lance..., but other than THAT...

Sure has been a ride, kiddies - lemme tell ya - who'd thunk that we'd only be finally flyin' aroun on personal jet packs just a few short years ago? Dumb-ass scientissts - us chickens coulda had that solved back in 2012 - we got short-term flight figgered, juss by nature!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Hey, I see Justin Bieber is on a comeback tour, playin' casinos and county fairs - I betcha when he had those famous bangs back in tha day, he didn't plan fer being a snooker ball with a comb-over a few decades later!

Har Har Har!!!

Well, a better git back ta ma chick - the pills I had fer breakfast is kickin' in, and if I wanna live ta noon, I need ta "fly tha coop", if ya know wut I mean...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Cluck fer now!

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Calgary Folk Club: Oct. 12 12




Calgary Folk Club
Oct 12 12
Julian Dawson
After The Storm

The Saturday Morning "Somebody-Asked-Me-To, So-Here-I-Go" Entertainment Review: The Calgary Folk Club

This is the second review that I've had the chance to do for this enduring music venue, and there will be more - so check back every two weeks to see who else has passed through their doors to enthral eager folk fans!

For last night's lineup, it was the return of the club's former house band, After The Storm. Clearly a welcome return, as the singalong started early on in their opening act set. Lively and authentic Celtic music, I tweeted in jest that I had better peek outside, just to make sure the Rocky Mountains were still in place outside - it was feeling so much like the East coast in the room that I was craving some fresh lobster and a puffin feather for a toothpick...

Some terrific covers among their originals, including "Fogarty's Cove", a Stan Rogers classic I've long since worn out on a vinyl album my sister gave me years (decades??) ago. It's not often opening acts receive a standing ovation, but these talented gentleman were called back onstage for a dandy encore. Too bad their CDs were sold out - small surprise!

Headliner Julian Dawson then brought his warm English charm and humour onto the stage for two sets. 

Here's the funny thing. The human voice is a constant source of surprise. Over the years, Mrs. That Dan Guy and I have seen several performers set aside the microphone, and just belt out a song acapella.    Tony Bennett did it here in the Jubilee Auditorium. Michael Buble did it in the Saddledome. New York alternative (and arguably somewhat folkie) artist Jonathan Richman had his audience melting in the Manitoba Theatre Centre. When Mr. Dawson did the same thing (several times) last night, it was extraordinary. Especially when the audience sang along. That, my friends, is magic. During his opening "Fragile As China", working in a line of Joni Mitchell's - wow.....

It is no easy task for a solo artist with just a guitar (and for one song just a harmonica...a freakin' harmonica!!) to hold an audience through to the conclusion, but after the engaging and boisterous sing-a-longs After The Storm provided, there were times during Dawson's two sets you could have heard a pin drop. His 37 years of stage experience have made him a master of balancing upbeat tunes with songs that ripped out your heart. And as he admitted, most of the songs many of us in the audience had never heard before - that is an accomplishment.

While his songbook may not be familiar to many, his pedigree is astonishing. He has collaborated with artists like Lucinda Williams, Vince Gill, Toots Theilemans, Richard Thompson, bluegrass legend Jerry Douglas, Dennis Locorriere, members of Squeeze - and piano legend Nicky Hopkins. I had tweeted before he got onstage that Hopkins had played with The Rolling Stones, The Beatles, and my hometown fav Neil Young (to name just a small handful), so when Dawson closed with some anecdotes and memories of that collaboration - what can I say, made me regret it had taken me so long to discover his obvious gifts...

On a side note, he did a couple of Lovin' Spoonful songs. Quite a few years back, I saw former Spoonful frontman John Sebastian perform live as the opening act for legendary folkie Arlo Guthrie.

Last night made me feel like I was seeing another legend. 

Find out more about Julian at http://www.juliandawson.com/

Check out The Calgary Folk Club at their own web site

And keep your eyes out for After The Storm - you won't go wrong with any of those recommendations!

Chow for now... 




Friday, October 12, 2012

Busy, Busy Weekend...

We've got a crazy weekend on our calendar going on here in the Such Is Life household - over the next few days Mrs. That Dan Guy and I will be attending two very different spectrum ends of the entertainment industry...

First up - tonight I begin a run of new bi-monthly reviews, after accepting a gracious offer from the long-running Calgary Folk Club! This is the result of a blog post following the first show of the season I attended - so I was thrilled to get the invite back for this feature. The club has an incredible history of bringing top-drawer artists to virtually sold-out evenings (nary a vacant seat when I was there!) - and they have a strong focus on Canadian artists. This will be a privilege and a treat.

Find out more about them here 

Sunday, we meet up with friends for a macabre comedy magic show - another invitation to review! I may have to start some sort of official entertainment site spin-off....

Better run - I still have to get ready for my official day job - my rat race has a rather brisk pace :-)

Chow for now!

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Two Apologies....

My humble apologies:

1) Only have time for a very short post this morning, and

2) If you already follow me on Facebook and Twitter, this was all over those two social media sites yesterday.

However, this is where it all links together, so....

My latest interview, with author Suze Casey - to be amended when some reviews are published:

Talkin With: Suze Casey podcast

Enjoy! She is a GREAT interviewee......

Chow for now!

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Clarity Propels You Forward...

It's only been a few days since a lightning bolt hit my creative force - and in that short time, I have mapped out a new book. Every day more and more input arrives without beckoning, so I had better just start pitching this thing around - it will be pretty much a completed manuscript any day now (subject of course to an editor's gentle embrace - with a scythe!!)

Of course, I could be full of beans. It certainly wouldn't be the first time. But I feel pretty confident, given the steady stream of ideas flooding the cavernous area between my ears.

Hey, check back later - my podcast interview with author Suze Casey should be posted shortly...

Chow for now!

Tuesday, October 09, 2012

I See The Light!!

And it appears that the bulb has burnt out - I had better get that changed before it gets dark again...

Chow for now...

Monday, October 08, 2012

Who Doesn't Enjoy A Clambake?

Well, I suppose the clams might have a problem with the whole experience...

Chow for now!


- Posted using BlogPress - too lazy to start my laptop...

Sunday, October 07, 2012

Sylvia Browne


The Sunday Afternoon "Nobody-Asked-Me-To, But-Here-I-Go-Anyway" Event Review:

Sylvia Browne
Century Casino
Calgary Alberta Canada
"50th Anniversary Tour"

"See Someone In Person You Didn't Think You'd Ever Have The Chance To See" - Check

"Fulfill A Long-Time Dream To Ask That Person A Question" (Mrs. That Dan Guy) - Check

"Get Even More Affirmation Of Recent Moments Of Clarity" (That Dan Guy) - Check

Believer, eye-roller, or wherever you personally fit in on the opinion spectrum of this sort of individual, there's no questioning the success of veteran medium Sylvia Browne - the lady can certainly fill a room! Not only that, two tables of merchandise piled high sold out before the show even started. Her faithful cannot get enough.

Now, before I get to the show review, just a couple of sidebars. I've always been told that for writing to be effective, you need to occasionally be controversial, or say something that might ignite strong reactions back from the reader.

As a humour columnist generally, I've only ever had that happen a few times - so I'm anxious to try that here:

As one of the few males in the audience, it quickly became apparent that the vast majority of women that follow these sorts of events are middle-aged. Presuming that by middle-aged, we are all going to live into our 120's and beyond. 

For the few males I spotted in the audience, there were several that I imagined must have "Wizard" as their current employment on LinkedIn profiles. I'm probably wrong on that conclusion - they might just as likely be retired 1970's heavy metal stars...

Well, that was fun. Now that I've alienated a large section of my readers - on to the review!

I'll start with counting myself and Mrs. That Dan Guy in the believer camp. This was one event (after passing on so many over the last three years) we just couldn't pass up. And, Mrs. That Dan Guy had really hoped to ask her a question, which she was able to finally do. More on that later...

As for Ms. Browne - 76 years young, wheeled onto the stage by her husband due to a recent broken hip - she made fast friends with the audience. After a brief White Hat ceremony by a Stampede City official, she launched into a solid hour of stories and belief sharing, which I strongly believe she ad-libs entirely, probably based on what she feels from each audience. That alone was amazing - and an incredible opportunity to see her vocal jabs at noisy people in the room - like a rapier! The Don Rickles of mediums!!

Ms. Browne can also be quite salty on occasion - many of her stories were filled with wonderful humour (among the enlightenment and other emotions evoked), and some of them using words you don't hear her use on television appearances. She is something else, let me tell you - but most of all she is an eye-opener. If I had any doubt that I am suddenly on the right and best track lately - those thoughts were firmly dispelled after last night. As I say, I think her "prepared" speech tries to answer so many questions before the audience even gets to ask them. Astounding.

For ourselves, a highlight had to be Mrs. That Dan Guy having a chance to get a book signed, but also to have a question answered. What floors you is the precision of the answer, that there is just no possible way Ms. Browne could have figured out, given what little was asked. 

On a side note, for those that think mediums or psychics are just a bunch of New Age hooey, Ms. Browne surprised me by how much foundation she has, and relates her gift back to not only recognized organized religion, but Christianity specifically. Not sure I knew that before last night.


If I was a believer before we went to the show, I was even more of one afterwards.

Two big thumbs up here (apologies to Roger Ebert)!!

Chow for now...    

  



Saturday, October 06, 2012

Chicken Scratch


(posted today by regular contributors, for obvious reasons...)

BIRD DOWN!!

BIRD DOWN!!!

Oh Charlie - when will you ever learn?  

Tequila, beer  and pretzel binges will ALWAYS end badly. ALWAYS!!

Look, I had better whisk you away to recuperate. Mrs. That Dan Guy would like nothing better than to turn you into part of a Family Bucket Meal - so you'll thank me later for dragging you upstairs, if even you do have a few bumps and bruises from bouncing off of each stair...

Let's go, ya mangy piece of poultry....

Hmmm..

You know, I have always wanted to do something....

Nobody's around...

OK....

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Hee Hee Hee....

Cluck for now!!

Friday, October 05, 2012

Clarity


"A weak mind is like a microscope, which magnifies trifling things, but cannot receive great ones." - Phillip Chesterfield

Clarity is a funny thing. You can struggle to find it, and many of us sadly never do come across it in their searches. You can come upon it unexpectedly, or it may arrive in one fantastic divine inspiration. I recently had a moment of clarity, and I believe it may just take me off in a direction I hadn't planned - that's another thing about clarity - it might not even be the answer you were looking for all along...

The quote above could not have possibly been random. I awoke this morning with that aforementioned clarity, and that particular quote was in my morning scroll through Twitter(land). It summarizes everything I've been struggling with over the last week. It also aligns with my newfound clarity, and gives me the tool I need to move in an entirely different direction. 

Very cool....

AND - the best part? While this clarity does seem like a diversion, it aligns with everything I've been attuned to for years. Who knew?

More to follow - I've got work to do.....

Chow for now!

Thursday, October 04, 2012

The Cat's In The Cradle

It is indeed in the cradle, and he has absolutely NO intent of leaving. We've tried luring him with food, dangling some yarn, and spritzing him with water.

He is one defiant cat, and will NOT stand down so that we can move him.

May have to introduce a dog in the cradle....

I don't see what good a silver spoon or man in the moon would do.

Is it man IN the moon, or man ON the moon?

My head, clearly, is spinning...

Chow for now! 

Wednesday, October 03, 2012

Gangnam Style

I really have nothing to say about that grabber headline up there. I am admittedly just trying to steal some of the tens of millions of people worldwide in the online traffic that's searching for the latest web phenomenon.

I realize this may bring some nasty reactions from web surfers, but I'm willing to deal with that - hey, our standards are so low here a rubber chicken blogs for this space on the weekend!

So, if you want to view the charming gentleman that dances like a horse trying to drive railroad spikes with his hooves, carry on and keep searching - nothing to see here folks!

Otherwise, welcome to Such Is Life - check it out! Click on some links. Tell all your friends

Chow for now...

Tuesday, October 02, 2012

Goodness Gracious, Great Ball Of Fire!

Awoke this morning to news of a massive fireball in the news - in the neighbourhood I grew up in!

My dad still sits on the front stoop there most days - if he happened to have done that yesterday, he would have had a front row seat to the explosion. I imagine my parents must have felt the heat, even though they are quite a ways away from the site itself.

My mother may have taken advantage to that to dry some clothes outdoors...

Winnipeg in the news - oh my!

Chow for now...


Monday, October 01, 2012

Hippy Monday!

Somewhere out there, leftover hippies are starting their week, along with the rest of us. I'm not exactly sure how hippies get prepared for a work week, or frankly whether or not they actually HAVE a work week.

I imagine hippies may not even wear tie-dyed shirts and love beads anymore - or flowers in their hair. Unless they're going to San Francisco...

I may even be working with a hippie, without even knowing it! How about them bananas??? Maybe I need to start looking for peace signs or something??

At any rate, Hippy Monday all - even if you don't start your week with a handful of granola!!

Chow for now...


- Posted using BlogPress - too lazy to start my laptop...

Sunday, September 30, 2012

KnuckleHead Of The Week

Hey, how about a new feature here at the Such Is Life blog?

A reader participation post, where I ask about suggestions for the KnuckleHead Of The Week.

Maybe it's any other driver on the roads other than yourself? Perhaps it's a co-worker??

It could even be a fast food restaurant worker that botches your order, or a retail store clerk that appears to have gone into rigor mortis during a particularly long lineup. 

I really have no criteria here - or standards for that matter. If you come across a complete knucklehead in the course of your day that you truly believe needs to be "outed" - leave a response in the comments section. 

We'll see where this goes - or if any of you knuckleheads even participate :-)

Love Ya!!

Chow for now...


Saturday, September 29, 2012

Chicken Scratch


(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken...)

So, yew two is tha rep-ree-zentatives uv American Thanksgivin'???

I get that turkey, but wut's up with YOU, squirrel??

Do yew simbalize tha nuts everywhere out there, or low-budget holiday dinner opshuns??

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Wut's that??

No, I ain't smokin' a doobie - ma home-rolled siggerettes leave tabakka everywhere, and I keep hearin' about it - so's now I juss roll tha end up. 

I really need ta try trainin' theez hoomans a bit better - too much cluckin' work fer a bird in this here joint!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

So, wut's tha plan fer tha holly-day boys?? Yah, I git that, Tom Turkey - I'd play Hide N Seek myself fer tha next few days...

Squirrel?

C'mon - quit playin' with them damn nuts a yours, and pay attention ta tha conversation!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Look, I gotta run - my HomeIn Garden shows are on, and I gotta fight fer a good seat on tha sofa with tha lady of tha house - between you and me fellas - she's a little addicted ta them shows!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Cluck fer now!  

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Time Keeps On Slippin', Slippin'...

Dear Steve Miller,

Thanks for writing that dandy lyric. Sure is what I'm feeling these days.

The future seems to be rushing past me routinely these days, while I make my dazed way through perhaps a few too many juggled obligations. I want to get up in the middle of the night and stab our alarm clock, just to try slowing it down a little bit.

Somewhere along the way, I hope to catch the future's coattail, and hitch a ride. Until then, I'll be over in the corner, waiting to see what needs to get handled next.

Squeaky wheel gets the oil!

Chow for now...

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

My Ass Is Asleep

Man, that donkey of ours enjoys the life of Riley - here we are scrambling through our routine to get ready to go to work, just as we do every weekday morning.

Meanwhile, Pedro our donkey is still sound asleep, oblivious to all the pandemonium going on around him - Mrs. That Dan Guy singing to her mirror on a hairbrush/imaginary microphone/the TV unwatched over in the corner as I stare wistfully at last night'a leftover popcorn rather than prepare breakfast.

It is the circle of life, here in our home.

Sleep tight donkey - heck, why not burro right under the covers!!

Chow for now....

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

In The Blink Of An Eye

So, this weekend we made a mad dash back to Kelowna, where we lived for 14 years. It was a lightning-fast visit, so for any of our many, many peeps out there - sorry we missed you. It was a targeted family visit, and frankly I've been on longer elevator rides. Next time, we promise to be more available!

At any rate, it was nice seeing family again after conflicting opinions on the length of time since our last visit. According to our estimates, it had been "like, forever" since we had been there, and to them, it was estimated that television had just been invented when we were there last. Either way, we can agree it had been a long time.

Beyond the disagreement of length of time, it was everything we had hoped for - we saw everyone, and got to spend some quality time visiting. We had some laughs, and I managed to fit some future e-bay merchandise into Mrs. That Dan Guy's purse. We were shocked by how much all the kids had sprouted up over the years, yet still fell for the old "pull my finger" schtick.

Good times.

The trip also featured moments of surreal drama - we flew standby, so missed the first three flights out of Calgary, arriving late at night - and missing out on a planned interview I had hoped to do. That will have to be rescheduled, but looking forward to finally making that happen.

After finding out that there were only two seats left and 4 people on standby Sunday morning, we opted to cancel and rebook as a full fare, which means that my man-boob reduction will now be postponed indefinitely. Guess there's a new sports bra in my future.

Overall though, it was just terrific, and we'll have to make a return visit sooner rather than later. Soon as we sell our "souvenirs"...

Chow for now!!

Monday, September 24, 2012

Running Behind...

In keeping with the spirit of our recent trip this weekend, our flight out last night was delayed - so we got in pretty late last night.

However, up and at 'em - but a 4 vehicle collision is making the news this morning, which will slow my morning commute.

So, my recap of the weekend will have to wait. For now, I have to try finding an alternate way in....

Good grief -

Chow for now!

Sunday, September 23, 2012

"I Have A Drum"

Among many of the lesser-known speeches in history, Martin Loufa Kin's percussive proclamation stands out above the others.

"I Have A Drum" was delivered in a parking lot outside a music store, and basically was just a reassurance that Martin had indeed purchased a drum. 

History, including that of the drum, remained unaltered by that particular speech.

And now YOU now...

Chow for now.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Chicken Scratch



(posted by weekend guest croupier Charlie Chicken...)

"7 come 11, for our fodder, who is in heavin!!"

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Oh, howdy hoomans!

Ole Charlie seems ta has tha run a tha house this weekend - so I juss got me a little gamin' action goin' on!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Couldn't find tha roolet wheel, but there's always lotsa dice in board games! 

Woot Woot!!

So, step right up, limited tyme offur!

Place yer bets folks, don be shy!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Cash only pleez.....

Wut's that?

Loaded dyce??

Mebbe YER loaded, pal!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

SNAKE EYES!!

BOXCARS!!

Craps. And now I actually gotta....

Well, see ya soon. Bring yer money...

Cluck fer now!


Friday, September 21, 2012

Life As A Turtle

It would be cool, in my humble opinion, if humans were built like turtles. First off, you'd have wrinkles right out of the starting gate, so no need to ever worry about that as you age.

Second, with a shell you'd never need to be a property owner - no taxes, no upkeep - maybe the odd shellac over the years - but anywhere you pulled in your feet for the night would be home! Be it a sandy beach, or a lovely meadow in the forest - no two days would need to be the same. Hate your neighbours? Move it on down the road, buddy!

Of course, for other things - perhaps a lady turtle friend, you may need to reconsider the logistics of a single turtle shell. Perhaps a double-wide??

Crap. This is obviously how things go awry....

Leave this with me, clearly I need to put a bit more thought towards the next stop in our evolution experience...

Chow for now!!

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Humpty Dumpty's Fall

I'm not talking here about the season.

I'm reflecting on what could have been the origin of the modern-day omelette, as we know it.

Never mind all those king's horses and men. Never mind Chicken Little screaming that a giant talking egg was falling on his head. Never mind a jealous Mrs. Dumpty pushing poor old Humpty off the wall in a misguided moment of rage. Let's reconstruct the scene, and see if my theory stands the test:

Mr. Dumpty happened to be sitting on the perimeter wall of a small English cheese factory. Just below the wall was a mushroom patch. As workers scrambled (sorry, bad choice of verbiage...) to rescue him, cheese on their hands mixed with broken shards of crushed mushrooms. Almost as one, the rescuers lifted Humpty in to a giant frying pan, and couldn't even look each other in the eyes as the combination became quite apparent - and even more tantalizing.

On a steady heat (initially to try reviving Humpty), the smelling salt was determined to require an equal measure of pepper.

By the time it was determined that Mr. Humpty could not be revived, his remains had developed a golden, crispy hue.

And that is how the modern-day omelette came to be - if my train of logic stands up to scrutiny...

Chow for now!

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Things That Postal Workers MAY Be Thinking...

* "Plain brown wrapper? Who are these people kidding?? SEX TOYS!!!"

* "Hello doggie...no, no need to calm down...yessir, just a little bit closer and I'll see how well this Tazer works..."

* "Jeez, I've got more corns than an Idaho field..."

* "Wow, everybody DOES know my name! Hey there Normie!!"

* "Great! Like the chaffing wasn't bad enough, NOW I got hemorrhoids??"

* "I swear officer, when I said I was gonna "go postal" I meant I had to get to work..."

* "Uhh, I dunno boss - I know we have to deliver bills and collection notices, but I don't think I can actually threaten to make someone "sleep with the fishes"..."

* "Do these knee-highs make my calves look fat?"

* "Unit 215, Unit 251 - close enough!"

* "Huh. Apartment building garbage disposal chutes DO look like mailboxes..."

* "I thought women LOVED men in uniforms??"

*******************

Later!

Chow for now...

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

The Race Is On!!

Time is ticking as we try to wrap up pressing deadlines and pesky items that need to be attended to before our departure this week. Unless you're a criminal reading this, in which case we are lolligagging around, and will be relaxing at home all weekend. We may or may not feed our pitbulls this week - just sayin'...

I got my latest video interview loaded in record time, after discovering by accident that my latest Stage West Calgary review had gone live online in record time - in under 8 hours since submitting it! If you scroll back up and click on the photo montage, you can view that podcast, AND read my Calgary Herald review.

If you prefer, you can simply click on my YouTube link over to the right, and catch it there as well, or watch one of the three-part talks with author Suze Casey on her new book "Belief Re-Patterning". I still have to try boosting the audio level for Episode One, and load the audio only podcast, but that's on my plate for tonight.

Finally, I'll need to be doing my homework to prepare for another interview this weekend, and after that, I hope to catch up with legendary Canadian roots musician Shari Ulrich.

LOVE IT!!

Stay tuned, campers.........

Chow for now!

Monday, September 17, 2012

Chicken Scratch


(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken, delayed due to more pressing posts...)

PETRIFIED POULTRY!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Oh ma gawd, buddy - wut happened heer? How did yez cum ta this fate?? Wut Medusa tirned ya ta stone??

And who tha cluck stuck that stick up....

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

This iz juss horrafryin' ! A fellow berd cut down in that prime a hiz life, and terned inta a lamp??

What will become uv me if a evah let ma vigilants down?? I could become a cookie jar??

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Uv course, becoming a bronzed god might make sum sense, but ah'd prefer if it was a bust or proper stat-choo, NOT mah skin an bones....

Life. So cruel. So harpless....

Cluck fer now...

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Stage West Calgary Entertainment Review: "Sexy Laundry"


The Sunday Morning "Somebody-Asked-Me-To, So-Here-I-Go" Entertainment Review:

"Sexy Laundry"
Stage West Calgary

Starring William R. Moses


Jane Spidell

Stage West Calgary's recently-opened production of Michele Riml's "Sexy Laundry" diverges from the recent musical theatre offerings at the facility, into a character-driven comedy. Laundry examines a couple 25 years into marriage as they struggle to re-ignite the flame that at one time may have resembled a super-nova, but now has cooled off into all the wattage of an interior refrigerator light...

In this, my "unofficial" review, I'll touch on some thoughts, but expand more for my "official" Calgary Herald review. I'll also be sitting down later today with Mr. Moses, and will soon have an interview linked for you to hear even more about the show, and his lengthy career. We're all about value after all, here at "Such Is Life"! Make sure to come back and look for those links soon!

Back to the play - this is pretty fertile ground for comedy, and certainly has proved such in the past, both in books, stage and movie offerings. "Sexy Laundry" makes for another fine entry into the genre. Terrific performances, modern images of the many distractions (mostly electronic) to a relationship - and one of the least erotic S & M  scenes you could ever imagine - a riot to view!

William R. Moses plays Henry Lane as a plaid cost-conscious husband that resembles a slice of unbuttered toast left over at a continental breakfast buffet. Jane Spidell is his wife Alice, that has come to place high stakes on a romantic weekend getaway as a last resort to stoke the passion in their relationship. The only other character is the "Sex For Dummies" book that they are consulting regularly for insight into amour. 25 years of mutually diverging interests place the humorous roadblocks into those efforts, and many audience members exchanged knowing glances at the impediments that build up after such a long time together as a couple. Often something as simple as the importance of not missing the nightly news...hard to role-play sex games with one eye on that!

There are some terrifically funny moments and even more insightful observations into relationships here, especially if you've been in a long one. There are some lagging moments, but at about 2/3 of the way in, Riml finds her voice again and the show engages the audience right up to the conclusion. Director J. Sean Elliott continues to add to his comedy credits, expanding out from his recent farces at Stage West into this more nuanced effort. Well done, all in all.

More to come in the Calgary Herald review....

Chow for now!  




Saturday, September 15, 2012

A Review - BTU @ The Calgary Folk Club

The Saturday Morning "Nobody-Asked-Me-To, But-Here-I-Go-Anyway" Entertainment Review:

BTU, at The Calgary Folk Club

(Barney Bentall, Tom Taylor, Shari Ulrich)

Well, for my introduction to the Calgary Folk Club (my bad, not theirs - they are currently celebrating the launch of their 41st season!!), I had the great pleasure of seeing old favourites in concert again, and discovering amazing new talent. 

And now I'm on a soapbox I want to shout from - hardly alone though as the house was packed and appreciative during the show last night, which incidentally ran late into the evening. Who knew? Well, obviously the folk club members - for me it felt like I was the last person on earth to discover truffles...

First off, opening act Headwater out of Vancouver presented a short set (and rousing encore) that showcased old and new music in their repertoire, and easily won over some new fans I'm sure. A great sense of humour in the between-song patter never hurts with me either. I'm reluctant to quote some of their commentary in case you do get a chance to check them out, and lose out on the element of surprise. These two young gentlemen are on a launch pad, are about to release a new album - and you can find out more by clicking on the highlighted link above...

Harmonious headlining trio BTU showcased individual and collaborative songs that reminded me of why I've been a fan of at least two of them for so long. And now that I'm familiar with Tom Taylor, I can't wait to pop in the CD of his I picked up after the first set was done. 

BTU is Barney Bentall , Tom Taylor , and Shari Ulrich . Amazing enough each on their own, but there were moments last night when they harmonized that you thought they were auditioning for a gig (way down the road hopefully) as the house band in Heaven. Stunning - I hope at least one of those tracks are on the live CD I snagged.

What more can I say - you can try and compare Ms. Ulrich to other vocalists, but last night she still had that unmistakeable crystal-clear "Shari Ulrich" sound that added "Talk Of The Town" to my vinyl record collection.  Barney Bentall has (after seeing him perform live three times before) become an even more engaging artist over the years, and his encore with the trio of "Something To Live For" was just about the coolest thing I've seen on stage - and I've seen a lot.

Finally, so happy to have discovered the talents of Tom Taylor. An instant favourite with his vocal range and writing, can't wait to pick up the new album he has coming out in November. As a matter of fact, all three have albums in the pipeline, and now I have to track them down as they are released. That should buy me some time to listen to what I bought last night :-)

All in all, a wonderful evening of entertainment, in a club I should have discovered long ago. And shall help others discover now...

Some Random Thoughts:

* I hope to interview Ms. Ulrich for my audio podcast series (click on the photo montage above to see other interviews), and chat about not only her own career, but BTU as well.

* As soon as I entered the club last night, I was having flashbacks - of coffee houses in Winnipeg with up-and-coming singers; of The Winnipeg Folk Fest scene; and of all the events I used to play recorded music for as a DJ in Winnipeg - most especially the Manitoba NDP party that had a strong connection to the folk music scene there.

* I think Bentall Taylor Ulrich (BTU) was a prudent choice of initials for the name of the band. Thank God they didn't go with Bentall Ulrich Tom Taylor...

Chow for now!! 


Friday, September 14, 2012

Craaaaazy Times (But I Like It)

Man, my calendar couldn't be fuller if I were a Kardashian touring a camera testing factory...

Tonight, Mrs.That Dan Guy and I are off to see the legendary Shari Ulrich, along with her latest project BTU - I'll be interviewing her Saturday, and then that evening we're off for the latest show at Stage West Calgary. I'm interviewing the star of that show Sunday.

Still trying to master my audio podcast before we leave next week (another city, some family visiting, and a long-delayed musician interview!!), and I've got a couple of author interviews I have to squeeze in somewhere along the way.

Technically, I am looney as a tune....

But I really wouldn't have it any other way.

Chow for now!!

Thursday, September 13, 2012

If I Were A Carpenter

-There would be a whole bunch of cabinets with overlapping doors out in the marketplace...

- I would likely be learning to live with a two-by-four glued to my hand...

- My signature rocking chairs would simply be three-legged...

- I would invent various wood-coloured duct tapes to cover the nails and screws coming out of the sides of anything I joined together...

- people putting together IKEA furniture would have a fighting chance of achieving something resembling a bookshelf by the end, compared to my staggering wood bits...

- my saw would make a seen...

- the only tongue in groove would be me trying to lick out the ice cream in a Sundae cup on my lunch break...

- If I were a carpenter...

Chow for now!!

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Breathless Anticipation

Can't wait to hear what Apple is about to roll out today - there's even speculation abounding that the latest i-phone will debut!

Not that I really have a chance to take advantage of whatever miracle they lay upon the display table - I'm still on a 3S phone!! With a rotary dial...

I just tend to enjoy my time on the bandwagon is all, especially when it's the Apple bandwagon. For the non-hypnotized (Windows weirdos), when you open Safari after a product launch in the Apple world, it automatically showcases the latest and greatest. I will lovingly gaze upon whatever it happens to be, and then surf away to something less exotic - like how to reattach a toe after dropping a meat cleaver on it.

Just in case it ever happens to me...

Again...

Chow for now!

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

11 Years...

This is the 11th Anniversary of Sept 11. Still makes me shake my head. Like earlier generations that recall what they where doing when President Kennedy was shot, or even myself when Elvis suddenly died, it is a day that will likely never gain note for anything other than what we reflect on year after year - even if we don't even live in the United States.

As it happens, I recorded a Tom Hanks movie, "Extremely Loud, Incredibly Close", and we watched it last night - not something that was a conscious intent by any stretch of the imagination. The movie follows a young boy that loses his father during the terrorist attack.

Can't endorse the movie enough - thought-provoking, riveting, sensitive, heart-breaking - the young actor that steals the show from at least half a dozen veteran actors will leave you breathless at points.

Much like the events 11 years ago....

Chow for now.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Busy Times Ahead!

Well, my social calendar is filling up, at about the same rate as my interview schedule.

Over the next week or so, I'll be sitting down with a Canadian entertainer I've long been a fan of. Immediately after that, my latest Stage West Calgary actor interview will be sitting down for a chat in support of their latest production.

I've also got two author interviews in the immediate future, and a few other pitches out there.

Call me crazy. Or chatty....

Chow for now!

Sunday, September 09, 2012

Looking For My Keys...


Pardon me...

Just looking for my glasses...

Pretty sure I had them yesterday, but now I can't seem to spot them ANYWHERE....

Dang....

Must keep searching....

Chow for now...

Saturday, September 08, 2012

Chicken Scratch


(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken...)

Ahhh...hello hoomans...SHHHH!!!

Keep it quiet willya.

We gotta keeps things on tha Q-T - apparently this cluckin' city is gettin' Draconian regardin' ma kind...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Frankly, fer a cowboy town, I kin hardly baleev that city council wud git sew obstructive ta birds that should be home on tha range. Ah kin only hope we band tagether ta appeal this Randy Travisty a justice!!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Fer now tho, ah had better keep a low profile - like under tha sofa, or behind a talkin' chair.

Chicks, ole Charlie misses ya, an hopes ta git in touch soon - please desist frum pesterin' me on ma sell phone until I gave ya tha thumbs up.

If I had a thumb, so ta speak...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Until then, I will hafta survive on cable TV, and whatever beer I kin find here - care packages can be sent ta tha usual address...

Cluck fer now!!

Friday, September 07, 2012

You MAY Be A Porcupine If...

You MAY Be A Porcupine If:

Your windbreaker jacket gets shredded every time you try to pull it on.

You spend vast amounts of time brushing dandelion fluff out of your quills in the spring.

You never get invited to birthday parties anymore, or anywhere else balloons are found, for that matter...

You always seem to lose your deposit on bouncy castles.

No one tries to throw you up in the air at your wedding. or after winning the state championship.

Your coworker in the office is always stacking memos and notes on your back.

Farmers attach you to a stick, and roll you through their gardens in the fall.

Fellow diners reach over after meals, and pluck you before picking at their teeth...



Have a great weekend, y'all - porcupines and all!!

Chow for now....


Thursday, September 06, 2012

Things George Washington MAY Have Said...

"Yeah, I did chop down that cherry tree - you think wooden teeth grow ON trees??"

"Does this chin make me look like Jay Leno??"

"Keep rowing Buster - we're gonna find that coin I threw in here if it takes all night..."

"No, just a trim Sam - I'd like to stay with these bob curls a bit longer..."

"That's PRESIDENT sir to you, you dumb-ass barista - and don't forget my extra foam!!"

"Sooo Martha....hows about we get that bonnet off and try to find somewhere to hide this salami..."

"Ha! Televised conventions?? That'll never fly..."

"My saddle sores need a gentle massage..."
*************************************************************************
Chow for now!


Wednesday, September 05, 2012

A Link You CAN Click On...

Well hello there!

Is this your first time here on my site? Welcome!

Been here before??

Welcome back!!

Hey, did you notice that photo montage above?? That is a safe link to click on, and once you do, there is a wealth of free interviews with authors, musicians, actors - and more!

You have to click on the archives to listen to some of the older interviews, but if you like the comedy, there are plenty of funny people - many you've heard of!

Shameless self-promotion - wattaya gonna do??

Enjoy!

Chow for now...

Tuesday, September 04, 2012

More On..."The Big C"...

No, not "moron", you read it right - "more on"...

Mrs. That Dan Guy and I made it through the first season marathon this long weekend of "The Big C". And now we need to get our hands on Season Two. STAT!!!

So much for cutting back on television.

This amazing show is EXACTLY why we have no interest in reality TV, or Kardashians. A well-scripted show, written by writers, acted by actors - everything that is the polar opposite of money-making crapola - just draws us in. Doesn't matter if it happens to be drama or comedy, I guess we've just been more into storytelling than which vapid golddigger that hears dog whistles is going to be the choice of some empty-headed "bachelor". For a few months.

I know - we are just too tight-assed about reality TV and their roster of "stars" to enjoy what that genre has to offer.

I'll keep my butt cheeks puckered, and continue to hold my nose thanks. When I have to start watching orange creatures named "Snooki" that aren't on the cast of "Sesame Street", that will be the day we unplug our TV  for good...

Chow for now...

Monday, September 03, 2012

Au Contraire

"What Contraire's Mom says when Contraire does something really cute".

Chow for now....

Sunday, September 02, 2012

The Big C

Great....

Despite ongoing and aggressive action to REDUCE the amount of TV we watch here in the Such Is Life household, it just so happened that our television was on in the background over breakfast yesterday. There was a marathon running of the entire first season of the critically acclaimed "The Big C", which roped us right in.

So, we PVR'd the entire season, and will be working our way up to the latest episode, as time permits.

This is the problem when you're trying to cut back on television shows - despite dropping programs we really enjoy, and trying to maintain a mere handful of other offerings, family members will recommend some dumb-ass show ("Storage Wars"??? Dammit Yuup, we just can't quit you.......) and we're hooped.

At our age, we do have to watch out for our ultra-sensitive brain cells though, so we absolutely refuse to watch anything that features a "Snooki", a host that does DNA testing to resolve paternity issues among knuckle-draggers, or almost anything that starts with "reality". It is an ongoing effort, and we must remain vigilant at all times - stupid is invasive, and hard to get out once it finds a home.

Anyhow, looks like we still have a few episodes of Season One to get through, so I must excuse myself - this show is a hoot!

Chow for now...

Saturday, September 01, 2012

Chicken Scratch


(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie...Charlie...uhh..Charlie????)

Hey, this ain't the website I thought it wud be!!!

DANG YOU GOOGLE!!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Oh- uhhh...hi there hoomans!

Ole Charlie was juss...jusss...uhh...looking fer a link ta....umm...homeless shelters...fer street chickens.

Yeah, yeah - that's the ticket!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

I've delevloped an innerest in hoomanitarian causes, an I worry fer all them homeless chickens out there - poor lil things...

Hmm. I see I gotta trim ma chicken claws - I think ma typin'  is sufferin', based on how "developed" looks in that last pair-a-graff....

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Anyhoo - I better keep surfin' tha innernet - I can't rest until I find the proper resources. Fer homeless chickens...that need love. An homes......

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Call me Saint Charles....or Mutha Teer-Easa tha Bird....

Cluck fer now...

Friday, August 31, 2012

There's A Bad Moon On The Rise!

Technically, it is a blue moon - quite something. I have no data to confirm that is either good or bad.

Next week - a fine hue of beige!

Chow for now...

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Weebles Wobble??

Still not entirely sure just what a weeble is. Sounds like something from an episode of the original cast Star Trek series. I imagine them as small and furry. Maybe buck-toothed.

They must be pear-shaped, if they wobble so much - like those inflatable punching bags my era used to have as kids' playthings. I think Bozo The Clown was one option. When you'd pop him in the snout, he would bounce right back up again, grinning like a maniacal axe-murderer.

I guess now I had better go surf The Googler, and see if there any images of a weeble. My curiosity has officially been aroused...

Chow for now!

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

The Wonder That Is Apple...

It's not hard to see why Apple has recently become the most valuable company of all time. After two hours spent in a 10-minute time slot yesterday, this company has tapped into what consumers value the most. Which I believe personally is AWESOME products, along with AWESOME programs, and overall general AWESOMENESS!!!

Ahem...

:-)

What I meant to say was a dedication to ensuring that their clients are leaving with their problems solved, and their wallets still bulging with gold bullion. Unlike a Windows service appointment (which can often cost upwards of a hundred dollar bill just to walk the computer into their shop), my two-hour appointment cost absolutely nothing - although I will admit to some costs upcoming. Part of the problem we discovered was that I have to make a few upgrades to be able to perform the tasks I was struggling with - but even that will be affordable.

APPLE FOREVER!!!

APPLE RULES!!!

APPLE OF MY EYE!!!!!

Ahem...

Chow for now...

Monday, August 27, 2012

Leavin'. On A Jet Plane...

It's all over but the crying. Maybe not even crying. Our ever-so-brief run here in The Land Of My Birth has concluded, and we are back off to our current burg.

What a whirlwind! Brief family visits, a wedding, some BBQ - a swell time had by all - but now we must return to work and reality - where humble family members won't be graciously serving us meals in bed, bringing cold beverages out to our deck chairs, nor fluffing our pillows before bedtime.

No one to pre-warm our underwear in the morning. No longer will our hosts test our food before we eat it, like they used to do for visitors in olden times.

Once again, we will no longer enjoy bedtime stories read to us, before we drifted off to sleep in our room. Those nightly foot massages will truly be missed...

So long, Winnipeg. We will once again return, but for now we must leave you - although these towels we packed will remind us of you frequently. The frogs will sell quickly on e-Bay, I think.

Chow for now!

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Goin' To The Chapel...


Well, Mrs. That Dan Guy, several extended family members, and Yours Truly attended a wedding yesterday, here in The Land Of My Birth. Pretty snazzy affair - the reception hall looked just terrific, and the entire evening was well-planned, classy & entertaining.

Some random observations:

* If someone ever invented sweat pants and tops that looked like a suit and tie, they would be richer than Steve Jobs and Bill Gates combined. Who enjoys wearing formal attire for an entire day and night??

* Building designers must get huge laughs at conventions when they compare stories - "And in MY hall, we had seating for over 1500 people, but we only installed TWO toilets!!"

* Sitting in the church, which the men in our group could not negotiate their way out of, I noticed some signage up about "the bread of life". Made me wonder if I was more of a bagel person...

* Despite ample opportunity over many years to learn how to do so properly, I am much more like a tazered newborn deer on a dance floor than a future contestant on "So You Think You Can Dance"...

* Never, ever set up a photo booth at a wedding reception, serve alcohol, and then encourage guests to partake. One bewildered guest (as our group was emptying out) asked where the potted plant in my hands had come from...

* Joking out loud about hoping that the main entree would be Chicken Fingers may be frowned upon by one's spouse...

* Posing with random seniors keeps them guessing...

Chow for now....



Saturday, August 25, 2012

Chicken Scratch


(Posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken...)

A'm home!!

A'm home!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Ah meen ta say, hello ma chilly lil friends!!

Whoa!!

After ah unzipped tha suitcase ah sneeked into, this place looked oddly familiar. Not sure where Banjo Boy and the lady floo off to, but I think I been here before. Lotsa cats - this could be a society lady's joint, one a them eggs-ssentric ones!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Good taste though - I spotted a dwarf chicken passed out on tha floor that looks like Hen Rietta! 

An, on tha plus side, ma bowel movments is returnin' ta normal. Had ta hold it fer a loooong time between crawlin' inta a suitcase, and arrivn' . Gotta be stealthy when ya do thiss kinda stuffin'!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Well, better see wut kinda chow I kin rustle up - it is a lil early ta be snarfin'...uhh...nah. This is entirely approp-ree-eight...

Bottoms up!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Cluck fer now.....




Friday, August 24, 2012

Salisbury House & Mosquitos

There are Salisbury House restaurants everywhere, a windy street corner in the heart of downtown - and I can see a rusty harmonica with Neil Young's saliva on it...

Where am I??

Second Round Of Clues:

This city typically hosts the largest number of Mosquitos anywhere, and not just any old Mosquitos. Big bastards, with tattoos and piercings. Mosquitos with stabbers the size of unicorn horns.

Where am I?

Final Clue:

There is a newly relocated NHL team here.

Discuss...

Chow for now!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Vegetarian Cannibals??

I guess it's possible, although I don't know that you could truly claim to be a cannibal if you only ate vegetables.

And why is this the second day in a row for vegetable ranting??

I guess a loophole in the vegan cannibal possibility might be if vegetables ever took human form, or became animated.

I really need to start thinking of topics BEFORE I sit down at this here computer....

Good grief.

Chow for now!




Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Vegetables Make Me Nervous...

Unlike junk food, which often appears to me as inviting and comforting, vegetables have a rough-and-tumble appearance that makes me question what their intent may be. I have no problem believing that they provide "roughage", what with their coarse, imperfect texture and all...

I also find that Twinkies, potato chips, pretzels, ice cream sandwiches, peanuts, popcorn, Ding Dongs, taco chips and chocolate bars (just to name a few) frequently shoot me inviting "come-hither" looks, whilst vegetables almost seem to be daring me to consume them. They're like gang members with huge beer guts and tattoos. I don't think they really can be trusted - especially if the primary benefit (bereft of pleasure) is "fire in the hole"...

So to summarize - I am unsure of those beady-eyed vegetables, regardless of what so-called experts claim. Pass me a corn dog - hey, that's a vegetable!!

Chow for now!

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Things I Wish I Had Invented

How different my life would be today, had I invented:

* Carpet - who doesn't use floor covering??

* Scissors - despite warnings, often safe to run with...

* Beach Balls - OK, that one might not have made me wealthy, but they are a load of fun to bat around when they're inflated...

* Flashlights - In my version, they would actually flash...

* Football Caps - like baseball caps, but named differently.

* Income Tax - who decided governments should be the only institutions to benefit from the efforts of others?

* Capes - well, that one is still pretty isolated in popularity - but enough people would want to wear one  to make it worth inventing...

* Raspberry-flavoured hamsters - when they eventually pass away....

* Electric guitars - so much more electric than the original acoustic ones.

Clearly I am floundering here - better regroup, try again another day. Apparently, I'm no Edison...

Chow for now!

Monday, August 20, 2012

Count Down

Hee Hee...

That wouldn't make for a very intimidating vampire name!

"Count Down, with his fuzzy head and luxurious feathered plumage was overcome while approaching his latest victim. The woman slipped a pillow case over him, and he is now part of a smart ensemble in her master bedroom."

"Count Down is perhaps best known for his work at the rocket launch pad..."

"Count Down has named his newborn son Get Down tonight...."

I could go on and on. Trust me.

Chow for now!

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Back To The Drawing Board...

I tried to get a little fancy yesterday in an author interview. We decided to try recording it outdoors on a lovely patio with a view of wonderful landscaping - kind of like Kelly Ripa from "Live With Kelly & Whoever" does every once in a while.

I'm not Kelly Ripa - nor do I have her budget. My gear picked up wind sounds like we were racing through tunnels on a highway. We could hear every car in the neighbourhood as they roared by. And one bird hoping for his big break in show business made so much noise you could barely hear our own conversation.

Needless to say, we have rescheduled the interview, and I return later this morning to give it another go.

This will be a series of interviews once it has been edited. She is a new author with the prestigious Hay House roster of experts that help you live a better life.

I live a better life when my recordings are useable - but I am chomping at the bit to give this one another go!

Chow for now...

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Chicken Scratch


(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken...)

Even as in-a-prope-ree-eight as I kin be, this seems REELY in-a-prope-ree-eight!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Cluck fer now....

Friday, August 17, 2012

You Ain't Nothin' But A Hound Dog...

Guess Elvis Week had to eventually creep into my blog, being a long time fan. This year is the 35th anniversary of his passing, and there have been events up the ying-yang down across the border.

That said, I often wonder how effective a statement like "you ain't nothin' but a hound dog" is to an actual hound dog. Given the constant expression on their face, I suspect they truly don't give a rat's ass about disparaging remarks, nor do they consider that disparaging at all - they ARE hound dogs, for Pete's sake!

I think the average hound dog looks at an owner that says something like that statement, rolls over, and puts it out of his or her mind immediately.

That might just be what YOU do after reading this post...

Chow for now!


Thursday, August 16, 2012

Rats!

Alberta has long prided herself (hisself??) on being a rat-free province, not including local politicians and corporate executives.

That has apparently gone out the window recently, as a small group of rats have been spotted somewhere (I don't pay a lot of attention to the morning news, but I do recall something like "blah blah blah rats, blah blah blah").

The province must now work to eradicate the pests, and again - I refer specifically to the rodents, not local politicians and corporate executives.

Chow for now!

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

What's Gnu??

That goofy old gag goes back to the 70's - and for the record, mispronouncing "gnu" is one of my favorite things.

I used to follow a comic strip with gnus - can't remember which one that was right now. May have to surf The Googler to see if I can turn up the name of that strip - like so many great ones, now long gone.

Have you heard the gnus? There's good rockin' tonight!

There's no gnus like good gnus...

I've got good gnus, and I've got bad gnus...

Tonight, on the evening gnus..........

There's nothing gnu under the sun...

Better get out of here while I still have some small remainder of my dignity - what's that?? Too late??

Wattaya gonna gnu??

Chow for now!!


Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Why Do Birds Suddenly Appear?

Seriously. Why do birds have to come out of virtually nowhere all the time??

Damn things are freaky, man. One minute, no birds, the next - boom! Right there!!

The worst case ever was golfing years ago in Kelowna. I had hit my ball close to a little marsh full of bullrushes. As I approached, some manic bird with delusions of grandeur started dive-bombing me - all I saw were flashes of black feathers, beak and angry talons! Or claws - whatever...

I had to drop a new ball, as the looney twit-head wouldn't back down. I imagine he or she must have had a nest in there, but still - I've never recovered. If I would have been holding a tennis racket instead of a golf club, that scenario would have played out a lot differently...

Unlike Dr Doolittle (Mrs. That Dan Guy) who has chatted with bluebirds on the deck in the past, I can stand to do without winged psychos, thank you very much...

Chow  for now!

Monday, August 13, 2012

Closing Ceremonies

Looking forward to catching the Olympic Closing Ceremonies tonight. I've heard that the rehearsal went well last night, so it should be downright amazing when it airs on TV tonight.

I've also heard the rumours - that there will be some significant musical bands doing some renditions of pop songs - should be boffo!

It must be running live, as I can't seem to find it with the listings feature on our PVR - no big deal, we'll just scroll through the channels when we get home tonight.

Anticipation!!!

Chow for now...

Sunday, August 12, 2012

An Unusually Busy Summer...

It has sure been hectic around the Such Is Life household this summer - we don't seem to be getting much of a chance to enjoy our summer!

Not that I'm complaining (I am, a little bit...) - we do enjoy keeping busy. But it seems like we've had one thing after another occupying our time since spring. The season that is, not my watch part.

Yesterday I had the good fortune to sit on a panel at the 2nd annual When Words Collide writers' conference. This event seems to be really finding its groove - despite having a number of compelling break-out sessions and an awards ceremony at the time of our panel, we still had a good turnout, and exchanged some good advice (I hope) with our audience.

Today we are on the fly again, after some household chores. Guess we'll have to record the Olympic closing ceremonies. Oh wait, we haven't watched a lick of it anyway, why start at the end??

Who knows - as a former competitive hammock rider, I know a little about the competitive spirit.

Chow for now!

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Chicken Scratch


(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken...)

Say, wut have we heer??

Mebbe I shud juss take a lil peek...fer purely scientifik perposes...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Don know wut "seasoned" means - mebbe they's older, or reely well suntanned...

Juss gonna werk ma way a lil closer, an crane ma neck - a....a....

CALL THA COPS!!!

CALL THA COPS!!!

THERE'S A KILLER LOOSE!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

This ain't no peep show, this 's A SHRINK-WRAPPED CRIME SCENE!!!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

I gotta call 911 - Cluck Fer Now!!!!!




Friday, August 10, 2012

It's A Gas Gas Gas!

What many of you may not be privy to, aside from Mrs. That Dan Guy, is that while I post these daily ramblings in the privacy of our humble abode, I pass gas like a fog machine at a rock concert. Sometimes loudly and boisterously, sometimes quietly and lethally. Ka-Boom!  Pffft... Rat-A-Tat-Tat.

Constantly.

No need to respect international laws. No worries about offending priests or rabbis. Happy-go-lucky, the gas passes freely.

I can't exactly say that this has anything at all to do with the creative process, but it does wonders for my morning cramps.

Oddly enough, I once threw out a housecoat that had worn through ONLY in the buttock area. Like it has been blasted clear through.

Coincidence? I wonder...

Regardless, it is my prerogative as Master Of The House, and it feels damn good...

Chow for now!

Thursday, August 09, 2012

Happy Feet! (Soon...)

My orthotics arrived yesterday, so I went to my podiatrist to pick them up and become familiar with them. It will apparently take me three-to-four weeks to adjust, but even the first few hours felt great with them in. I think that between the Birkenstocks and these puppies, I should soon see major relief!

On the downside, I realize I'm becoming quite a liability around here. Orthotics, expensive shoes, a new tire for the car, body work that still has to be done on our vehicle after The Pre-Concert Steve Martin Scraping Mishap (Note to self: Consider renaming that incident - you did NOT scrape Steve Martin...).

At any rate, I've become an ongoing drain on our pocketbook. Mrs. That Dan Guy is generally pretty even-tempered, but I think I'll try sleeping with one eye open for the next little while...

Chow for now!

Wednesday, August 08, 2012

Don't Ask Me To Bring Home Eggs...

Confirmed yesterday that I gave my vehicle a $200.00 car wash on the weekend. You might expect that included detailing and a candlelight meal at a fine restaurant. No, it included somehow wrenching my tire against an abutment causing a tear in the sidewall, which couldn't be repaired. So, I must now drive on a donut spare tire until I get that sorted out.

In other news, I have a used lucky rabbit's foot for sale....

Chow for now!

Tuesday, August 07, 2012

Were It Not For The Grace Of Colonel Sanders...

I have always recognized the limitations of my talents with respect to the kitchen. Maybe I should have taken cooking classes, or relied less on speed dial for delivery.

Whatever the reason, I confess fully, and illuminate in my monthly column:

My Monthly REM Magazine Column

Enjoy!

Chow for now...

Monday, August 06, 2012

How To Become A Human Fountain.

Through the course of my various attempts to calm down my sinus issue recently, I was introduced to something called a Neti-Pot. Sadly, it had nothing at all to do with South Asian weed. The Neti-Pot is essentially a little plastic teapot, but you would never offer someone a cup of tea from it after you've used the little beggar for the purpose intended.

In a nutshell (or the Neti-Pot itself), you add a small packet of nasal cleansing powder to some warm water. Just by saying "nasal cleansing powder", you are probably already getting an image of just what unfolds next...

Yes, you press the spout of the tea pot up against a nostril, and the healing fluid then pours out. Of your other nostril. Like a frigging water fountain. Oddly enough, it feels pretty damn good, if you think about something else while its happening. Like newborn puppies, or a really good episode of Cheers.

What it does is replace fluids, even though I can't imagine many staying behind, based on the profuse flow from the opposing nostril opening. However the science works, the damn thing is like a miracle. I'm a fan, and will probably do another round momentarily.

May post a video later...

Chow for now!

Sunday, August 05, 2012

Getting Better All The Time

Well, I'm pleased to report that my sinus infection has started to retreat - thanks to copious amounts of medication, rest and a miracle known as the neti-pot. Florence Nightingale can now stand down as well, as she was on heightened alert throughout my ordeal. Yes, ordeal - discomfort is right up there on my lack of tolerance meter...

So, now that my strength is repairing, and my spirit is returning, I may be able to finally tackle another bag of potato chips, and some TV.

It's a great day for a merry ca, everybody!

Chow for now!


Saturday, August 04, 2012

Chicken Scratch



(posted by weekend guest blogger Chicken, Charles D. Chicken...)

A'm preparin' fer tha Orlympicks closin' sara-moanies.  Too early??

Cluck fer now...



Friday, August 03, 2012

I'm A Wreck....

Fruck me - I'm a freakin' disaster!!!

Battling a brutal sinus infection that thus far has proven resistant to every painkiller from ibuprofen to a few "somewhat past-their-best-before date" Tylenol 3. I've irrigated my nasal passages more than the Suez Canal. The right side of my face feels like I've been kicked by a mule.

Overall, pretty tolerable....

My dang foot has been howling, thanks to the blasted Plantar Fasciitis. I don't get my orthotics for another week or so, and needed to try and relieve the pain - so I picked up a pair of Birkenstock sandals - which have really made a difference at least for the short term.

One the negative side, my hunchback shuffle is a little less authentic...

Man, I'm a wreck - somebody stick a fork in me - it wouldn't make things any worse!!

:-)

Chow for now...

Thursday, August 02, 2012

Somethin' Ain't Right...

Well, I've been up all night, thank you very much. What started as a minor irritation the last few days has blossomed into a full-blown explosion in my face. Yowie!!

I'm pretty sure it's just a sinus infection, but the throbbing never let up one iota last night, despite about 10 ibuprofen, heating pads, saline irrigation up the wazoo (honker, actually - the wazoo is apparently not clogged in any way, shape or form...), and a number of homeopathic remedies. I will now need to visit a doc to see what logical attempts might be made to clear it up.

Until then, I can only try to soothe the savage beast - no luck to this point...

Chow for now!

Wednesday, August 01, 2012

"I'll Eat My Hat"

Of all the boastful sayings that are uttered, I think "I'll Eat My Hat" is one of those entirely inexplicable proclamations.

First off, I had a look at my sweat band after several days of a recent heat wave. I would not eat, lick, gum or even sniff that thing - not even for money.

Then there's the thingie that projects over your eyes. Who knows what bugs, acid rain or bird droppings have settled in on the average visor? Sheesh - that there's a veritable buffet of poisons and salmonella diarrhea production! Again, pas de nibble, por favor...

Finally, the head dress portion - the actual hat or cap crown. The one part of the hat that actively absorbs hair oil, hair gel, dandruff and sweat the entire time it is sitting on your noggin.

BLECH!!!

You go ahead and heat your own hat. I'll take a Ding Dong, thanks...

Chow for now!