"I'll Eat My Hat"

Of all the boastful sayings that are uttered, I think "I'll Eat My Hat" is one of those entirely inexplicable proclamations.

First off, I had a look at my sweat band after several days of a recent heat wave. I would not eat, lick, gum or even sniff that thing - not even for money.

Then there's the thingie that projects over your eyes. Who knows what bugs, acid rain or bird droppings have settled in on the average visor? Sheesh - that there's a veritable buffet of poisons and salmonella diarrhea production! Again, pas de nibble, por favor...

Finally, the head dress portion - the actual hat or cap crown. The one part of the hat that actively absorbs hair oil, hair gel, dandruff and sweat the entire time it is sitting on your noggin.

BLECH!!!

You go ahead and heat your own hat. I'll take a Ding Dong, thanks...

Chow for now!