thatdanguy's podcast

thatdanguy's podcast
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Monday, May 31, 2010

Refrigerator CSI:

Episode 1 – The team attempts to identify what may once have been a food product, but now looks like a putting green in a Tupperware container. A putting green with what appears to be a pulse…

Episode 2 – The team analyzes large suspended blobules in a milk container, in the hopes of discovering why the entire carton hasn’t attained the consistency of petrified matter.

Episode 3 – The team profiles the apparent twisted and mono-chromatic mind of a certain Dr. Seuss – whose fridge contains green eggs, green ham, green cheese, and remnants of leprechaun…

Episode 4 – A package of ground beef quietly whistling “Give Me A Home, Where the Buffalo Roam” perplexes the team.

Episode 5 – Carbon-dating fails to identify the age of a bag of celery releasing noxious fumes, on the season finale…

Chow for now!

Sunday, May 30, 2010

I don’t have a problem with Roman numerals – I just don’t care for those puffy horsehair helmets they insist on wearing all the time…

Chow for now…

Saturday, May 29, 2010


Chicken Scratch

(Posted with shivering chicken fingers by frosty weekend guest blogger, Charlie Chicken…)

CLUCK ME!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Snow?? Are ya cluckin’ kiddin’ me?????

This is almost June, fer cluck’s sake!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Batter my giblets and call me deep-fried…what the doodles does this mean?? Is there gonna be a plague of locusts next?

An’ it’s not only snow-covered, it’s snow comin’ down like there wuzza sale on the stuff. I’ll be cooped up in here all weekend, what with my avurshion ta wet knuckles.

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

An’ ya wonder why I drink…

I could swear I heard rain deers onna roof lass night – but it musta been pigeons bangin’ their heads on tha shingles – even the worms is wearin’ overcoats when they pop up outta tha ground!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

I’m goin’ back ta bed – see ya in August!

Cluck fer now…

Friday, May 28, 2010

Last night, we recorded and watched “Four Christmases”, the hit flick with Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn. This despite the apparent micro-brain programmers at Movie Central apparently being able to figure out that this is now almost summer, NOT Christmas.

Well, excuse our error:

http://www.youtube.com/user/thatdanguy1#p/a/u/0/pAqlDQLfaks

Turned out to be a very appropriate movie to watch…..

Chow for now!

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Peter Scolari

Newhart”

“Bosom Buddies”

*******************************************************************

So, once again I beg your indulgence.

Either change your feed today to “RSS” (usually a little orange symbol, or the actual letters somewhere on the screen) or click the link below:

http://thatdanguy.libsyn.com/

Then you should be able to download and listen to an interview from last year with actor, producer and director Peter Scolari.

This was essentially the first interview in my “Talkin’ Funny With” series, and appeared in print in my weekly Kelowna column (which runs for the last time today).

For today, that’s my story, and I’m stickin’ to it!

Chow for now!!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Walloping Mallets Fall In 1st Exhibition Matchup

It’s hard to say if the devastating loss of the Montreal Canadiens last night played heavily on the minds of The Walloping Mallets in their season-opener exhibition match loss. Frankly, it shouldn’t have, as the match was played in the early afternoon, long before the NHL semi-final.

Maybe as a rec league croquet team, the players were jointly worrying about the lawn still trying to re-grow, further away in the very yard the croquet course was set up in. How long does grass need to be nurtured along before it gets off its ass and sprouts??????

Ahem…

Most likely, it was the loss of team captain Angus “Hammer Time” Yoshima, who left the game after trying to mallet a competitor’s ball away into a corner, but instead seriously injured his own foot when the crocs he was wearing proved to be less sturdy than a croquet mallet swung at high speed.

If all goes well, his cast will come off in late June…

In the 27-3 loss, The Mallets certainly showed some early promise, but a clear inability to aim the croquet ball through rather large metal U-shaped hoops is going to have to be overcome, if this team hopes to make the playoffs. Less beer during the match might also be helpful.

The team loses home turf advantage for the next game, as they hit the road.

Chow.

For now…

Monday, May 24, 2010



Authorities are entirely indifferent to reports of a shady character recently seen buzzing around Cowtown.

Characterized by a polished forehead & scalp, hairline remnants - plus numerous jiggly chins, this dude has been seen recently aimlessly watering a portion of lawn near his home. Authorities have no explanation for his behavior, aside from presuming that constantly listening to Justin Bieber’s latest CD has possibly porridged his frontal lobes.

He is guilty of no apparent crimes, other than a tremendously inadequate attempt to look like actor Jack Nicholson.

Honey Nut Cheerios.

There was no reason imaginable to release this report…

Chow for now!!

Sunday, May 23, 2010


(05 23 10….hmmm…“11” anybody???)

Hey, a colleague, amigo and fellow blogger/writer has bestowed an honour upon this space that she recently accepted at her own blog (one of two – follow the links – plus I think she also pens others):

http://writingonthewall-vaneck.blogspot.com/

I’ll take it. I’ll wear it proudly. After well over 1500-plus consecutive posts without Blogger intervening in the interests of good taste or reason, I would admit to being a prolific blogger. Any other descriptive will be left for history to decide, or my tens of readers.

I can say that this blog has expanding my writing into places I never expected, as a long-time “humour-only” scribbler. Now that my weekly column is homeless, hopefully it will soon post to other links that my “nonsense and stuff” occasionally appears – or I could just start listing the places it doesn’t:

Redbook

Saturday Evening Post

Chatelaine

Apples Of The Americas

Saskatchewan Farmer

Dear Penthouse…(no, wait…)

Smithsonian Monthly

Acne Digest

The Well-Dressed Nudist

Vanishing Eyebrows – Digest of Lasik Disasters

KFC Flyer, May 2009

IKEA Catalogue

Prairie Barns Magazine

Man, there may be more to list than I had expected….

Just keep stopping in, and there may be the odd announcement or two.

Chow for now!!

Saturday, May 22, 2010


Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken…)

Mirrer mirrer on tha wall,

Whose da hunkiest chicken uvem all?

Why, you, ole Charlie – was there any cluckin’ doubt??

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Yessir, ole Charlie has got tha package – rugged good looks, kerizma, an a certain inexplikkible sex appeal – tha chicks dig me!

An can ya blame ‘em? Look at the rise a my comb, and the playful curve a my beak – I’m practikally tha James Dean a tha poultry set!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

If I wuz a muse-ishun, I’d be a Jonas brother…

Frankly, it oughta be ill-eagle ta look this good! I should register my chiseled fa├žade as a deadly weapon – of love!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!

Alla which makes me wonder – how dya translate that sorta shinola inta yer online datin’ profile, an still remain your humble, adorable self??

Better try scribblin’ that out one more time…

Cluck fer now!

Friday, May 21, 2010

Next week will be a personal milestone for That Dan Guy. After a little over six and a half years, my weekly column in the Kelowna newspaper supplement will run a farewell edition. Lack of space will be the official cause of death.

As I say in the column, it seems like I’m writing an obituary, but far from it – I’m busier than ever with my writing, thankfully. I still enjoy a national column here in Canada, plus I hope my recent inroads within the Canwest chain (or whatever it will be called once the sale finalizes) continues.

Plus this will free me up to finalize a number of book projects, which is pretty exciting as well. It’s been some time since my last one – I think the Beatles were still together when that one came out.

What is even more exciting is the regular traffic heading over and downloading the interviews I’ve done this past year.

So, between my ramblings here (sorry, that will continue as well…), and other stuff I’m jamming into the pipeline, the silly will continue for the foreseeable future.

Yabba, dabba, and doo…

Chow for now!!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Ed Lobster was steamed. Crusty as the old crustacean may have been, when he read the headline in his local newspaper, he became literally boiling mad.

Ed Lobster worked at the local butter factory (no small sense of irony there, I suppose), and the newspaper outlined a plan by management to unilaterally alter a claws in the employees’ contract.

Umm, clause, I mean…

Going entirely against the intent of the collective agreement, management was intending to withdraw lunchtime hot tub privileges, negotiated during the last round of hard-fought…negotiations. This sudden change to the workers’ contract was likely to send all the lobsters on the roll (payroll) into the soup – maybe even inspire a boisterous strike. A work stoppage at the very least.

This wasn’t the first time that the Thermidor Butter Company had tinkered with a claws in the contract (clause…sorry…). A couple of years ago, Ed Lobster (union rep since 2006) had to remind his employers that they needed to be more compassionate when employees were crabbing about their lives to the HR department – even if that griping was frequently just one sad tail after another (tale, I mean. Goodness, what is wrong with me??)

Ed Lobster was steamed. Butter battle lines were being drawn – someone would have to crack…

Chow for now!!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

I’m thinking of writing a grand rock opera, like classic rockers The Who used to roll out every other year back in the 1970’s.

Take for example their seminal classic “Tommy” – about a deaf, dumb, blind and obviously politically incorrect pinball wizard. My plan is to incorporate something similar, yet even more relatable, to millions upon millions of people.

Tummy” would be a rock opera that anyone carrying a few extra pounds around the middle could relate to. It will be about a deft, plump kind boy, who sure plays a mean gumball. Or something like that. But the hook is that he’s overweight, which I hope to parlay into a marketing campaign with LA Weight Loss, and Jenny Craig T Nelson.

All I have left to do is write the script, the songs and overcome a few other hurdles – like convincing a group or theatre company to take it on.

I’ll get on that after breakfast….

Chow for now!!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

This time of year, my focus turns to the rec league sports that I participate in. Well, sport, technically. I’m on a weeknight beer league croquet team – “The Walloping Mallets”.

I know – how do I find time in MY busy schedule to commit to a grueling season of competition? Well, thankfully we don’t play on any nights that “Glee” airs, so that clears up some VCR tape. Practices don’t typically last over two hours on any given evening, so that also allows me time to attend to more pressing items, like watering my lawn, and napping.

Croquet matches, such as they are, only ever last about 15 minutes or so, so game nights virtually fly by, unless we go into sudden-death overtime. On those occasions, you’re almost forced to set your beer down, and focus on the task at hand – which is walloping the croquet ball through the little wire hoops. Until it hits the little wooden stake, signifying you have crushed your competitors, and have edged ever closer to securing a playoff spot, later in the summer. Your endorsement deals pretty much ride on a successful playoff season – which is why I have ordered some DVDs off of the internet, to give our team an edge this season. I’m hoping there’s at least one tip on preventing those painful mallet welts on my palms.

Well, better run – I have to press my uniform. And pick up more beer.

Chow for now!!

Monday, May 17, 2010

Have I posted a link here yet to my latest REM (Real Estate Magazine) column? I don’t believe that I have…

I should confess that if you’re a regular reader of this here particular web-space, it may seem a bit familiar – although it has been tidied up a bit for general consumption:

http://www.remonline.com/home/?p=5508

That’s my story for a Monday morning, and I’m stickin’ to it…

Chow for now!!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Wild sprouts, flailingly madly off in all directions (apologies to terrific Canadian comic musician Lorne Elliott). Shoots and clumps firing skyward, leftward, and rightward, with no apparent sense of structure.

No, I’m not talking about the results of our recent lawn reseeding, which is doing just fine by the way, thanks for asking.

I’m describing the back of Mrs. That Dan Guy’s head, with her morning hair.

Egads, man…

Chow for now (hee hee hee…)

Saturday, May 15, 2010


Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken…)

PRESS THA STOPS!!

PRESS THA STOPS!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!!

Holey pluck, my fuzzy little peeps – ole Charlie iz riled up this mornin’!

I wuz scroungin’ aroun fer sum snax lass nite, and what do I find? Side Dish, which looked like a nice little fit fer my…side dish. Upon closer inspecshun, I noticed the glazed breast in the upper portion of tha package – looks like this iz supposed ta be a side dish fer a healthy helpin’ – A CHICKEN!!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

By the feathers on my chinny chin chin – I can’t eat ANYTHIN’ associated with my fellow poultries. Sure, ya could probably scoop it out alongside some pork or moo meat, but the point here is, these guys SPECIFICALLY single out us cluckers.

It ain’t rite!! It's wrong!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Bad enough I can’t eat batter no more, or many parmigiana options – now I can’t even trust innocent side dishes! They should hafta sell that stuff by the Shake N Bake, so we know it ain’t acceptable…

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

This stinks. I gotta go make a picket sign, and figure out where I gotta go protest.

After my sunbath, mebbe…

Cluck fer now!

Friday, May 14, 2010




The Friday Morning "Nobody-Asked-Me-To, But Here-I-Go-Anyway" entertainment review:

Workshop Theatre's "The Coarse Acting Show"

(or, Why I May Never Become A Professional Entertainment Reviewer...)

I can’t believe that as long as Mrs. That Dan Guy and I have been living in Calgary now, and as much as we get off the sofa and out to see shows when we can, the trip we made to the historic Pumphouse Theatre here last night was our first. Happily, it was a grand introduction.

Workshop Theatre is currently staging a production of Michael Green’s “The Coarse Acting Show” – a community theatre production lampooning community theatre productions. Imagine anything that could go wrong in an amateur staging – lines delivered out of sequence, stagehands wandering on to cavalierly adjust props while the actors are still in character forging on, “murdered” corpses having to place themselves onstage mid-scene – a literal basket full of boo-boos, intentionally.

You can’t help but think of the terrific little film from a few years back, “Waiting For Guffman”, where a similar theme frustrates a marquee director who struggles to coax along the amateur cast of his own production. The fun is in watching all the mishaps and items out of place – like wristwatches on cast members of a Moby Dick reenactment, or a pair of bright Crocs on the feet of a Roman citizen in Shakespeare’s “lost” play, “Julius & Cleopatra” – which also ends with a hearty Caucasian rap number.

The show opens with a classic British murder mystery, and sets the tone for the rest of the production right from the opening. A clearly unplugged phone rings away, forgotten lines are shouted out from the wings, and costume malfunctions ranging from moustaches to hairpieces constantly “plague” the hapless cast in each segment. If you’ve ever lived through a high school staging of “Fiddler On The Roof” as part of the largely invisible chorus, or are a member of a community theatre group yourself, you’ll crack up at this collection of faux pas and earnest bumbling. For anyone else, the comic effects just speak for themselves – funny, funny stuff…

The Coarse Acting Show” runs at Calgary historic Pumphouse Theatre until May 15th

Chow for now!!


Thursday, May 13, 2010

I had planned on posting a short video here this morning that I shot yesterday of a coyote foraging around the Calgary Airport area.

But instead, I offer you – a brief commentary on the 3-D Tim Burton film, “Alice In Wonderland”.

On a whim (alternate transportation option, only three wheels), Mrs. That Dan Guy and I decided to stop in and catch a movie the other day. Of the options available at the time, the only one that really appealed was that 3-D flick, our first modern 3-D experience (yes, we have NOT seen Avatar. Alert the media).

This was a movie that looked pretty interesting when it was first advertised, but not interesting enough to pry us away from TV episodes of “Glee”, and repeated spinnings of that delightful Justin Bieber CD.

However, after the first few minutes, the current version of the 3-D film experience knocked our socks off. I had been wearing sandals at the time, so I had to quickly put some socks on, so that they could be sufficiently knocked right off.

Wow!! Who knew?? The old technology was so lame, you couldn’t understand the haste with which moviemakers were now stampeding to develop more 3-D flickering pictures. But the screen literally popped out, in front of our very eyes. Technically, most screens are positioned in front of your eyes, but in a not-so-literal sense, the images were astoundingly popping out as us!

And, if you haven’t seen the film I’m talking about – well…it was wonderful as well. Two thumbs up. Love those Burton films.

Now, we wish we HAD seen Avatar, just for the 3-D effects. Maybe, if we’re really really lucky, one of those popular Hairy Potter films will magically reappear, in 3-D.

That, or maybe some classic episodes of Baywatch

Chow for now!!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I’m pretty sure that there has to be an easier way to do this, but I’ve added a link in to a short excerpt from waaaaay back in 2007 – a wee snippet from a full presentation I put on for an annual AGM of the Kelowna Friends Of The Library:

http://www.youtube.com/user/thatdanguy1

Either click on the pasted link, or convert this to an RSS feed, and it should magically appear.

That’s my story, and I’m stickin’ to it…

Chow for now!!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Potpourri, For The 11th of May…

In honour of this being the 11th, I am using 11 as my font size. You’re welcome, Squinty Magoo…

Hey, way to go Montreal Canadiens – one more win, and two of the top-ranked NHL teams will be off to the golf course.

Hey, it’s 6:41 AM…that adds up to 11!!

Hey, did I just use “hey” to start two sentences in a row?? Egads…now there’s three…

We could both just be a little bit delusional, but there are hopes burning in our souls that blades of grass are starting to poke up through the snow, where we spread seed recently to fill in the area that used to house our gazebo.

“How now, brown cow?”

That silly preceding sentence provided me with a total to that point of 119 words, which adds up to 11.

If you actually asked that greeting to a brown cow, would that bovine have any clue what you were talking about??

Interesting. The LA Lakers won their game last night with a total score of 111 points. Coincidence?? I think not…

Did you know that if you hold both your hands out in front of yourself, palms down, your thumbs will be side by side?? Fascinating…

I think I need more coffee. Or at least the slightest particle of forethought before I sit down to tap these things out…

Chow for now…

Monday, May 10, 2010

(1550 posts, as of yesterday...)

I had a couple of topics for this morning’s blog, but at this particular moment, I’ve decided to forsake them, in favour of going with… “I’ve got nothing”.

For one thing, “nothing” will take up less space, and require less typing on this god-forsaken mini-keyboard on my net-book, which was clearly designed more for magical bony faerie fingers than this guy’s gorilla hands.

For another thing, “nothing” opens it up to just about “anything” or…nothing! I could just sit here and whistle if I wanted to, because I have confessed to having no discernible topic today.

Finally, “nothing” is still technically “something”, even if that doesn’t translate immediately from my pathetic tap dance here this morning.

Hey! I could be tap dancing right now!!

Gotta Dance!!!

Happy Feet!!

Mr. Bojangles, over and out…

Chow for now!!

Sunday, May 09, 2010

SNL

Betty White

Almost as heavily hyped as the release of Apple’s i-Pad - Betty White’s hosting stint last night on Saturday Night Live. And easily just as anticipated, here in the Such Is Life household.

Well, the i-Pad is still a hope down the road, but we did catch Betty last night, on what might have been one of the best SNL’s in a looooong time. Featuring a Who’s Who cast of stellar past female stars, ole Betty grabbed that venerable staple of Saturday night comedy by the throat, and absolutely killed. She was equally at ease in a bit about being a salty mom of a convict trying to scare kids straight, as she was on the delightful NPR spoof talking about her muffin. Again, quite a salty sketch. The recurring theme seemed to be an attempt to dispel the “sweet little old lady” image, she projects most often.

Hey, didn’t anybody see her cursing her way through a starring role in the feature film “Lake Placid” a few years back?? Ole Betty knows her way around the common foul slang as well as anyone.

No matter, funny is funny, and White showed why she has enjoyed a career in the ballpark of 60+ years. Terrific comic timing, an open mind when it comes to trusting the writers and directors…plus a natural commanding presence onstage.

Great fun! If you missed it, you really should gurf the Shoogle, and try finding it somewhere…

Chow for now!

Saturday, May 08, 2010


Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken…)

Zero pounds!!

I’m cluckin’ weightless!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

By the hammer of Thor, I ain’t even as heavy as a pluckin’ dust bunny! A puffa smoke has more density than these ole chicken nuggets a mine!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Wutz tha opposite a Jenny Craig?? Mebbe I can get fat actress Crispy Alley ta help me pack onna few pounds, before I blow away in a light breeze! For Pete’s sake, who weighs nuthin’????

My beer belly issa hollow shell! It could be filled with cloud, fer all I know!

If it weren’t fer gravity, I’d be playin’ a harp in tha heavens sumwhere!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

OK, Charlie – breathe…it’s gonna be OK…

Donuts, potato chips, beer – ya just gotta start consumin’ , and consumin’ fast! I’ll pork out on pork. I’ll fatten up on situated fats.

I’LL TRY AN’ EAT MY WAY OUTTA CAPTAIN HIGHLINER’S FISH FACTORY!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

How embarrassin’….

I’m a cluckin’ wafer uva bird….

See ya at the buffet table, peeps…

Cluck fer now…

Friday, May 07, 2010

Abbreviated Blog Of The Week:


"What goes up, must come down."

Does what goes left, must go right?

Chow for now…

Thursday, May 06, 2010

In the interest of expediency and efficiency, I propose that we start eliminating a few unnecessary letters of the alphabet. Lord knows the kids are already doing a fine job in that respect themselves, with them space-age text messagey things – it’s almost like a holy mission of contraction. Thx, kds…LOL…

In support of this theory, do we really need a limited consonant like “Q” – especially when other letters do the job just as well? “God Save The Kueen”. “Run Kuicker”. “That gynecologist is a real cuack!!”

For Pete’s sake, there’s TWO letters that serve the same purpose at that useless old “Q”! Why do we need to waste space in dictionaries and Scrabble boards with a letter you can barely use with “U”?? I say, out with “Q”, retire it, fire it, paint it with egg white and hang it on a fence somewhere in the sun. Let it kuiver, and just cuit using the silly thing…

Next time – “X” or “Z”. Maybe “Y”. Useless letters gotta go, people!!

TTFN…

Chw fr n-oww…

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Happy Cinqo de Mayo, Peeps!

With our furnace blasting away in the background, and with a carpet of freshly fallen snow on the ground, it DOES feel a little bit like Mexico here right now.

If Mexico was a city in Siberia…

I’m going to presume that snow is a terrific insulator, giving the grass seed that I’ve been nurturing along the past few days a much-needed boost in long term survival chances. I don’t want to think that the cold and snow will kill it dead, like our recently departed gazebo – crushed under wet snow and gale-force winds that seemed to be blowing straight down on the snow.

But, today is a day of celebration, not worry and anguish. So, FIESTA!! Fiesta, my saucy amigos– get out there and shake your mariachis, or whatever it is we’re supposed to be shaking today.

Until the weather improves, I’ll be shaking without much effort…

Chow for now!!

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Return of Lawn

In the aftermath of the death of our backyard gazebo, I am now trying to regrow the lawn that had been somewhat trampled into submission while the gazebo had occupied the space above it. On it, technically.

I’ve done this before, reaching deep into my farmer heritage to coax seedlings into full-blown thatches of hardy grass. Sure, it took determination, grit and a watchful, motherly eye, but I was successful then, and I intend on succeeding now. As sure as I’m sitting here, there WILL be lawn once again on that forlorn, brown, muddy patch of our yard.

The secret? Well, you start with grass seed that indicates it could grow even on concrete – even though you’re awfully tempted to just pour concrete where the grass is refusing to sprout.

Then, you’ll need to nurse and coax it along, with watering, maybe some witty conversation. Grass regenerates best when it’s in a good mood, so reading a funny story or two sure doesn’t hurt.

By the third week, if it hasn’t started to show signs of life, threaten to set it on fire, or cover it with rocks and a tarp.

I’m confident we’ll have shimmery green lawn long before it gets to that…

Chow for now!!

Monday, May 03, 2010

It was another one of those days yesterday.

I was heading out to do some errands, and I must have been preoccupied with something. Either that or my hearing isn’t what it used to be.

I brought home a rather large fiddle because well…I thought Mrs. That Dan Guy had asked me to pick up “some cello” – when she had instead asked me to pick up some “Jell-o”.

Know any classical musicians looking for a new instrument?

If you have a good stash of gelatin, we can arrange a trade…

Chow for now!!

Sunday, May 02, 2010


Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger, Charlie Chicken…)

Howdy, humans!

The Great Poultini will attempt this mornin’ ta escape frum this pitchur. A pitchur that seems absolutely impossible ta escape from. Especially right now…

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

The Great Poultini has come up with this amazing escape, after droppin’ his cigarette in earlier this mornin’ – I wusn’t about ta lose my pluckin' investment that easy…

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

SO, how will I escape this dee-lemma? Well, thankfully I happen ta be a natural consortionist. Even if technically I haven’t been able ta feel my beak for at least half an hour now. An one a my knuckles. Or my pinfeathers, for that matter…

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

The trick is gonna be how I consort my neck, like a goose – or a giraffe. That momentum will allow my body to rise like a coiled cobra, and exit this pitchur.

At least, thas tha plan. As of right now, my neck feels paralyzed, aside frum tha shooting pain radiatin’ down ta my giblets…

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Hey! I can see my cluckin’ wishbone! And thas not all, frankly. I got a perspective right now that just ain’t pretty…

Uhh…mebbe you should just go have some breaksfast right now, and coome back in a bit, ta see how I’m doin’.

The Great Poultini will escape. But right now, he needs to will sum circle-a-tion back inta his poultry bumps…

Cluck fer now!!

Saturday, May 01, 2010


Stage West Calgary

The Producers

Mel Brooks

Lee MacDougall & Timothy French

Alright boys and girls, here’s a link (finally) to my recent interview with director and writer Lee MacDougall, plus choreographer Timothy French. We discuss their role in the current production of Stage West Calgary’s “The Producers” – the mega-hit musical by comic legend Mel Brooks.

http://thatdanguy.libsyn.com/

Scroll back down to Thursday’s entry here for a link to The Calgary Herald review, or hit the link right from the Libsyn.com page.

Don’t forget, you can also subscribe right from i-Tunes, by searching the store for

thatdanguy’s podcast. It’s free, AND a collectible treasure!

Chow for now!!