thatdanguy's podcast

thatdanguy's podcast
CLICK ON THE PHOTO MONTAGE! Or, Free Downloads on i-Tunes!

Thursday, December 31, 2009


2009.

It was somewhat the best of years, and in some ways, the worst year. Of everything we soaked in this year, it will be remembered most here in the “Such Is Life” household as “The Year Of The Beatles”. Our brushes with Lennon & McCartney were unforgettable.

Most years, we settle in to watch the good old “Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Year’s Eve” broadcast. After our first-ever visit to NYC this year, we’ll be ignoring the overly perky braying of Ryan Seacrest to spot sights we saw during that trip. We are both now entirely in love with New York City. Especially since someone had the foresight to open a Tim Horton’s right in Times Square…

Highlights of the year? Well, the aforementioned Beatles, my big birthday surprise to start the year, not only seeing Bob Newhart live in concert, but getting to meet and give him a column I wrote about him, NYC, Ventura California where we caught up with old friends, and met new ones…actually, there are too many highlights to try recalling. Scroll through the archives here to find out more.

Here’s looking forward to 2010!

Happy New Year, everyone!!

Chow for now…

Wednesday, December 30, 2009


W. Bruce Cameron

“8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenage Daughter”

“How To Remodel A Man”

“8 Simple Rules For Marrying My Daughter”

This past summer I had a chance to interview author W. Bruce Cameron, of the best-selling “8 Simple Rules” fame, which was also a hit TV series starring the late John Ritter.

Once again, you’ll either have to convert this post to an RSS feed (the little orange symbol somewhere on the page), or just go to i-Tunes, and download it from “thatdanguy’s podcast”.

Mr. Cameron talks about his career in general, and what he’s got coming out in 2010. It’s a fun 23 minutes!!

Chow for now!!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Things I Still Have To Do Before This Year Is Over:

1) Find out where the rubber actually meets the road.

2) Patent my new game, “Duck Duck Rooster”.

3) Take apart Mrs. That Dan Guy’s digital camera, to see where the engineers are hiding the film.

4) Test adding peanut butter to chicken noodle soup, possibly creating one of the finest delicacies ever invented.

5) Test-drive a soul patch on my lower back.

6) Write another letter to Barry Manilow, begging him to cover more Bruce Springsteen songs.

7) Write another letter to Bruce Springsteen, begging him to cover more Barry Manilow songs.

8) Return more pop bottles.

9) Watch less Oprah.

10) Try eating peanuts through my trunk like some animals at the zoo do. Hee hee…zoo do…

11) Dry clean my toupee for New Year’s Eve party.

12) Overcome my fear of candle wax.

Chow for now!!

Monday, December 28, 2009

The past few days, I’ve been devouring “We’ll Be Here For The Rest Of Our Lives”, the “swingin’ showbiz saga” memoir written by David Letterman’s band leader, Paul Shaffer. The book somehow found its way into my Christmas stocking. Which goes a long way to explaining the muffled piano sounds I heard repeatedly in the living room, leading up to Christmas Day…

What a page-turner! Shaffer relates story after story of his encounters with music legends, and his own musical career. This cat has done it all, and been smack-dab in the eye of history the whole time! SNL, The Blues Brothers, Late Night With David Letterman – if you like your comedy accompanied by music, this book is…I want to say “bible”, but maybe there’s a more appropriate description considering Shaffer’s own religious persuasion.

Plus, HE’S CANADIAN (or at least born and raised here), so there’s one more reason for a shivering Canuck to admire his successes.

In the first few chapters alone, there are anecdotes about jamming with Bob Dylan, and backing up Ray Charles. Going from watching The Ed Sullivan Show, to playing nightly in The Ed Sullivan Theater.

I tend to keep my books in a certain small room of our home, allowing me to typically digest only small snippets at a time, but several occasions this blasted book has been impossible to put down, forcing Mrs. That Dan Guy to tentatively peek in, just to ensure I’m not dealing with something irritable, or (at my age) nodding off whilst going about my business.

So far, highly recommendable – find yourself a copy, and get in on the groovin’!!

Chow for now!!

Sunday, December 27, 2009

You must be getting old if:

-you don’t go to bed late, but still sleep in until 10 AM…

-you have to post a silly column every morning, but you’ve awoken too clueless to even remember what day of the week it is…

-“Brunch” is served around 5 PM…

-your first thought over a late-morning coffee at home is that your pals at the coffee shop must be thinking you’ve passed on…

-the sharpest thought coming to your mind so far this morning is wondering if anyone out there really IS cuckoo for Cocoa-Puffs…

Need more coffee…

Chow for now!

Saturday, December 26, 2009


Chicken Scratch

(by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken)

“Post-Holiday Money-Savin’ Tips”

Happy Holidays, humans! Ole Charlie is gonna start a new tradition, showin’ ya how ta save money over the holidays.

Today, I’m gonna discuss how I get a tree-farm quality Christmas tree, for virtually nuthin’ .

Well, Ok…completely nuthin’…

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Step 1: Borrow yer neighbour’s axe, but make sure it ain’t a neighbour who’s tree yer considerin’ collectin’…

Step 2: Consult the Weather Network, ta see when the next full moon is gonna appear.

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Step 3: Stroll aroun’ yer neighbourhood one afternoon, stoppin’ occashunally, so as to assess each tree that may be growin’ on certain front lawns, close enough ta pull back home under covera darkness…

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Step 4: Did I mention a pincha rum an’ eggnog?

Step 5: Yer window of opportoonity is somewhere between 2-4 AM, unless ya got nosy blasted dog-walkers in yer neighbourhood – then ya gotta be extra viligent. Eyes open folks! To the winner goze the free tree!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Step 6: Chop quietly, and quickly. Did I mention the toboggan? If I didn’t, and yer standin’ beside a downed pine, I apologize – run home and fetch it quick…

Step 7: Watch how many pinches a rum an’ eggnog ya have, as you will be driving a loaded toboggan down the sidewalk.

Step 8: Get the blasted tree inside yer home pronto, in case noozepaper delivery peoples are startin’ ta arrive.

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Step 9: Decorate, enjoy, and try to avoid yer neighbours fer a few daze (especially the ones talkin’ to the police about a tree missin’ frum their front yard).

There ya have it – holiday cost-cuttin’ tips – YER WELCOME!!

Cluck fer now!!

Friday, December 25, 2009



Ho Ho Ho!!!

Merry Christmas, Season’s Greetings, Happy Holidays – from my gang to yours!

Knock Knock.

(Who’s there?)

Centipede.

(Centipede who?)

Centipede on the Christmas Tree!!

Hope your day is magical,

Chow for now!!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Holey Doodles!

I went to the mall yesterday – what a zoo! For some reason, the place was an absolute madhouse. I wondered if maybe the Jonas Brothers were signing whatever it is that they peddle there, or if apples were on sale.

Hmmm…of all the foods I could have named, why do you suppose I randomly picked “apples”???

Freudian slip, I say!

Yeah, I’m telling you, avoid the mall today if it’s going to be anything like it was yesterday. I’m going to hold off until later this evening, when the crowds may have thinned a bit. I need to pick up some toiletry items. For our toilet room.

Chow for now!!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

I believe I mentioned here a few days ago that I would run a recent Christmas column of mine from a week or so ago. Well, as it happens, I can provide something even more entertaining (I hope).

Click on the link below:

http://www.voiceprintcanada.com/component/option,com_mtree/task,viewlink/link_id,34342/

then click “Listen” – from there you can either choose to just run the segment, or save it to your computer forever, back it up, make CD-ROM copies, distribute those to friends and family, store a copy (at least one copy) in a safety deposit box at the bank, bury a disc in your back yard in a time capsule, or simply listen to the dang thing, and then move on with your day.

The Christmas column appears about 5 minutes in (talking about my favourite Christmas song – hint: a former Beatle sings it), and a review appears as well, about 17 minutes in. The rest of the stuff is good listening as well, but I know how impatient you guys can be, especially this time of year…

Chow for now!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Wonderful…

Christmas is just days away, but now I’ve got to go off-topic, and ask for your help settling a fierce disagreement here between Mrs. That Dan Guy and I.

Are you ready? Here we go:

I believe that a popular phrase is “a stitch in nine saves time”. She thinks it’s the reverse, as in “a stitch in time saves nine”. (Yeah, I know – she’s looney as a fruit bat, but god bless her spunky disillusionment…)

There is one more possible outcome here – we could BOTH be wrong (her guess would be more wrong).

Maybe the phrase is:

“A stink in time pollutes the mine”.

“Because you’re mine, I stitch the nine”.

“A stick of wine saves the mime”.

“One small stitch for mankind, one big step for nines”.

“If Lady Ga Ga married Stitchy Fornines, would she be Ga Ga Fornines?”

Please, any help you might offer, would allow us to resolve this disagreement, and return our focus to the arrival of Santa.

Thanks in advance for your consideration (note: a stitch in nine saves time – just sayin’…).

Chow for now!!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Things That May Be Running Through Santa’s Head Right Now:

1) Where the heck did I leave those blasted sleigh keys?

2) “Martha, have you sewn up that tear in my long underwear yet?”

3) Screw this – I’m going to Vegas this year…

4) Oh-Oh! Better pack some Imodium…

5) If Lady Ga Ga married Fred Forgingerbread, would that make her Ga Ga Forgingerbread??

6) Did I load the radar detector??

7) On Donner! On Dancer! My, what a lovely venison stew you’ll make!!

8) What’s this ruddy knot doing in my beard??

9) 25…26…what does it really matter after all??

10) By Ohio, maybe Indiana the furthest, Santa’s gonna need to attend to these goldarn hemorrhoids…

11) Great! Now I’ll have to work TWICE as hard once Oprah retires…

12) Mrs Claus? Why do you think the song lyrics are “don we now our GAY apparel”???

Chow for now!!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Things I Don’t Want For Christmas:

-a hippopotamus.

-a hula hoop.

-my two front teeth.

-gay apparel.

-neck apparel.

-Will Apparel.

-peas on Earth, good gills to men???

-untreated lumber.

-knee lesions.

-toe jam.

-toe mail.

-toe the line.

-shingles.

-a rabid wolverine.

-broccoli.

-e-coli.

-coli-flowers.

Just a head’s up, dawgs!!

Chow for now!!

Saturday, December 19, 2009


Chicken Scratch

(By guest weekend blogger Charlie Chicken)

“Have yourself a merry pluckin’ Christmas,
Lay down in some lights…


AAAAWK!! (HIC!!)


From now on,
our knuckles will be out of sight.


AAAAWK!!!! (HIC!!)


Have yourself a merry cluckin’ Christmas,
Make Banjo Boy’s hair grey,
From now on,
his hairline will be miles away.


BUK!!!! AWK.


Here we are as in olden days,
Before cable and downloads.
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Bring presents to us once more.


AAAAWK!!!! (HIC!!)


Through the years
We all will be together,
If the Great Chicken allows
Hang a shining star
upon the highest beak or brow.

And have yourself
A merry pluckin’ Christmas now.”


BUK-AAAAWK!!!!


Cluck for now – Happy Cluckin’ Holidays Ever-One!!

Friday, December 18, 2009

Once upon a time there was a wee little snowflake, that settled onto a quiet little lawn in Canada. That probably wouldn't have been so bad, if the snowflake hadn't have invited a bazzillion of his little friends. Which totally covered that poor little lawn. And the driveway to the home. And the roof, and trees, and a small dog that had fallen asleep on the lawn.

Then a warm and cheery Chinook blew into town, melting every one of those little snowy beggars, which were never seen again - until next week - it is Canada after all. But by then , the owner of that lawn had devised a giant blowdryer, which was set to melt each and every one of those snowflakes as they fell from the heavens.

Stay tuned next week, for "Slaughter Of The Snowflakes", a heartwarming holiday story...

Hey, if Lady GaGa , married Wally Forgoggles, would she be GaGa Forgoggles???

Chow for now!!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

My word – Christmas Eve already? Where did the time go??




PSYCHE!!!

Hey, it’s not really that far away. If you haven’t hit the bricks yet to get your shopping done, here’s a head’s up – the malls are freakin’ insane!! Mrs. That Dan Guy and I had to stop at our local mall yesterday, and if we weren’t able to park on top of Smart cars, we would have been hooped. I’m not sure that people even work in this city. The parking lot was packed to the rafters, if open air parking lots even have much in the way of rafters.

Yes, tis the season of holly and mistletoe, where young girls go to sleep with dreams of new shoes for their already swollen collections. Which makes me wonder – if Lady Ga Ga married Andy Overshoes, would she be Ga Ga Overshoes??

I know someone here that’s gaga over shoes…

Chow for now!!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Once again, our friends at the CBS Network have outdone themselves (please don’t sue us – that clip we ran here the other day is soooo short…)!

Last night was the 1000th episode of the “Late Late Show”, with hilarious host Craig Ferguson – (who I have blogged about promotionally here before numerous times, CBS) and the broadcast outdid itself. Opening with one of his manic lip-sync performances, this time of Trace Adkins’ “Honky Tonk Ba-Donk-A-Donk”, it never really lost pace from there on forward.

Even when a hand-puppet alligator interviewed the first guest, which is when we checked out, until we can finish watching the rest this morning (DON’T TELL US WHAT HAPPENS!!!!).

Piqued your curiosity yet? If not, don’t forget to tune into CBS, right after “Late Night With David Letterman”!

And really, who wouldn’t???

Chow for now!!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Holy Doodles!

1400 consecutive posts, as of yesterday! Where does the time go?

I’ll tell you where it goes – into worries like this:

“If Lady GaGa married a Goo Goo Doll, would she be a GaGa Goo Goo doll??”

These are the worries that keep me up at night…

Chow for now!!

Monday, December 14, 2009

Hey!

Mrs. That Dan Guy and I were spotted on national TV last night!! (Thanks to the eagle eye of Mrs. Argy in Winnipeg for the heads-up on that…)

Here’s a totally illegal link to our brief appearance on CBS’ “Sunday Morning” (don’t blink), in a feature on Paul McCartney. Our “Year Of The Beatles” got a surprising exclamation point with this little surprise:

http://videomail.shaw.ca/view/8053576040-1260737660-85613/0

NOTE TO CBS:

Please do not sue us for this free CBS promotion here. What a terrific program your organization offers to weekend viewers, which you can view from THIS link, by the way:

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/12/13/sunday/main5974688.shtml?tag=cbsnewsTwoColUpperPromoArea

And dear readers, don’t forget the delightful primetime lineup, on CBS. Who doesn’t enjoy the wacky antics on “How I Met Your Mother”, or “”The New Adventures Of Old Christine” – HILARIOUS!!!

Don’t forget everyone’s favourite late-nite funnymen – David Letterman, and Craig Ferguson. Only on CBS!!!

OK, there we are. Hope that keeps everyone happy…

Chow for now!!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

The Beatles versus The Jonas Brothers

Yesterday (no pun intended) I started to come to the realization that perhaps the Jonas Brothers are the modern-day reincarnation of The Beatles.

Allow me to present my supporting evidence:

1) Both bands had three members (come on, you can’t really count Ringo…).

2) Both hands elicited screaming fits among their young female fans.

3) Both bands played instruments, and sang.

4) Both bands featured members with full heads of hair.

5) Both bands wrote catchy pop songs – although one of the bands wrote ground-breaking songs that still endure over 40 years after their initial release, and the other band writes songs that occasionally endure up to 40 days later.

6) Both bands spoke English.

7) Both bands were primarily Caucasian.

8) Both bands featured solo members proficient on the kazoo.

9) Both bands featured some of the preeminent songwriters of their generations. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10) Both bands hid embarrassing secrets – like a band-mate with knobby knees, or a road manager suffering from “the heartbreak of psoriasis”.

Yessir, the parallels are stunning…

Chow for now!!

Saturday, December 12, 2009


Chicken Scratch

By Charlie Chicken, guest weekend blogger

GODZILLA!!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!!

GODZILLA CRUSH SMALL TOWN!!!

Heh Heh Heh…

Yessir, humans, ole Charlie does loves his Chrismas. All these tiny dekor-ayshuns make me feel like a giant. Lets a bird beak off, and get away with it…

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Although, all this cotton baddin’, and sparkly sparkles does tend to get inna yer feathers, if ya know what I mean…

I gotta say, this mock villege looks so cluckin’ real, I can almost see the residents goin’ about their bizzness. If by bizzness, ya mean standin’ like stiffs all day!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!!

HAAAAAACK!!!!

HAAAAAACK!!!!

Whoa! Cotton hairball! I think I maya swallowed a ground cloud!!

Better steal summa Santa’s milk. And cookies…

Cluck for now!!

Friday, December 11, 2009

What with all the talk about the end of the world coming soon, thanks to the Mayan calendar theory – I’ve started to look a little harder for signs that there may actually be some truth to these concerns.

Exhibit A: I believe that many birds have gone away, possibly supporting the theory that they KNOW the world will be coming to an end in 2012. No matter how hard I look around, all the birds we typically spot in our neighbourhood are clearly MIA.

Exhibit B: Despite alarm bells constantly ringing in the media, global warming seems to be a cruel hoax locally. It is globally freezing in our area. That could mean anything, but let’s add that into the “end of the world” side of the ledger for our purposes this morning.

Exhibit C: Every tree on every street appears to be dead – leaves are gone, the bark has turned brown…this has to be the most compelling evidence of all that something is afoot. Those ancient Mayans must have been botanists. Or arborists. Or psychic.

Chow for now!!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Four for four!

Four blasts of wintry, stormy weather so far this winter - four times we’ve been caught in the car trying to make it to one commitment or another.

Yesterday, it took us two and a half hours to get across town, sometimes reaching speeds as high as 5 kilometres an hour! Although to be fair, some jackasses did decide to race along the roads whenever they could find a spare inch between cars. We chose to stay on the road, and avoid crunching into other vehicles. We passed more than a few cars, trucks, and horses with buggies in ditches, convincing us to take it easy…

I see on the news that the morning commute is slippery and slow.

Excellent!

Chow for now!!

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Ba–na-nan-na, na-na-na-na.

Ba–na-nan-na, na-na-na-na.

Ba-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.

Na-na-na-na-na.

NAHHHHH!!!!

(Wish I could remember what the heck the name of that old song is…I think the Muppets even used to sing it once in a while...)

Chow for now!

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Yaaaaawnnn......

HEY! Where did the morning go??

Oh boy...

Chow for now.

Well, THIS is fun... Both Mrs. That Dan Guy and I couldn't sleep for beans, so we have gotten back up, and we're now watching poker, on Game TV.

I downloaded that picture up there off the Google, but before I stumbled on that one, I previewed several others, most entirely inappropriate. Even something as innocent as "a pair of hooters" brings up links that really ought to be flagged, I tell you...

Well, back to poker.

Chow for now!!

Monday, December 07, 2009

The thing is, when you utilize “artistic license” on a regular basis, sometimes it comes back to bite you in the s.

Take, or example, my exaggeration of late regarding the weather. It is after all, WINTER in Canada, a time when even polar bears and ice cubes wear long underwear. Yet I chose for several days to make things out to be worse than what they were. So what happened? They got worse. With the wind chill today, it is -175° Celsius. Or thereabouts.

Also, we have had three bad snowstorms this year so far, of which Mrs. That Dan Guy and I have been caught out in every one. Not caught, like say…Tiger Woods, but caught nonetheless. One night it took us two and a half hours to get back home!

Another night, due to obligations, we had to drive OUT into the storm, and then come back home hours later, with barely a sliver of warmth with which to grab our Starbucks securely! I’m telling you people – this is BAD!!

So, maybe I’ll quit exaggerating. Or maybe I’ll just exaggerate about things we want to have happen – like a week-long Celine Dion Christmas music TV special.

Chow for now!!

Sunday, December 06, 2009


Sunday.

Sundae.

I prefer Sundae.

But it is too cold today for a Sundae.

So I will settle for a Sunday.

However...even though it IS too cold for a Sundae, a Sundae would be absolutely delightful.

(Moments later...)

We’re out of ice cream. And whipped cream. Nuts, even. Not a fruit topping to be seen inside the house.

Sundae dreams dashed, on a Sunday. The irony is killing me…

Chow for now!!

Saturday, December 05, 2009


Chicken Scratch

By Charlie Chicken, guest blogger

Oooooh my achin’ pinfeathers….

AAAWK!!!!

I ache from my knuckles all the way upta my comb. We put up tha Chrispmas dekorashuns yesterday, and even my wishbone is throbbin’ right now…

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

It don’t look like much, but this here tree is one heavy booger, haulin’ it back from the forest onna toboggan. Uphill. After three feeta snow fell whilst I was choppin’ it down. With a blunt axe. One arm inna cast. Wearin’ a 80-pound backpack a firewood in case offa emergency.

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Oooooh…should wings be flappin’ when yer arms are down??? Or is that just a fatigue twitch?

This is where a little medicinal brandy comes in handy – just a coupla fingers, ta take tha edge offa this whimper I’m barely subdoo-in.

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Ya know, I hope that tree ain’t movin’ towards me right now…I never did test that tree stand that Cornelius made inna basement here…

OH-OH!!!

CLUCK FER NOW!!!!!!

Friday, December 04, 2009


A couple of days ago, I polished up my newspaper column for next Wednesday, and sent it off to my editor. While going over it one last time, I realized that Mrs. That Dan Guy and I accidentally ended up having a mini-Beatles getaway to NYC this past summer…

Not only did we get to see Paul McCartney perform live TWICE, we also caught Strawberry Fields in Central Park, in addition to the stunning John Lennon display at the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame Annex NYC.

You can read a bit more about all of that if you scroll back through the archives to July, I believe.

My column doesn’t seem to run in the online area anymore, but after that one has appeared in the Kelowna paper, I’ll post a copy here in the ole blog – it’s seasonal, after all.

Speaking of seasonal, a nasty winter storm is heading our way today. I better run to the store and stock up on whale blubber…

Chow for now!!

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Frost Files, Episode 11:

A chilling wind, wrapped in a bracing casing of arctic frigidity whips through the street. The wind is so cold it has to come in fragmented segments, each one walloping pedestrians like an iced battering ram. Cold, so cold. Not even as cold as it’s going to get, but still so cold that your blue lips look like the screw-top caps on bottled water bottles. Like fresh blueberries, if blueberries could even survive and thrive in sub-zero temperatures.

The mail box is just across the street – deceivingly close, yet miles away when your breath solidifies with each expulsion. Solidifies, gasps in sheer horror, and collapses onto the pavement, only to shatter like the denials of wrongdoing from Tiger Woods' publicity group.

I’ve strapped a portable heater to my back, but suddenly realize that to avoid burning myself, even through my industrial strength parka, I’ve had to point the fan away, essentially heating the air behind me, as I slowly trudge towards the mail box. I can feel the extension cord holding me back, like a wise life preserver. Or it has frozen into an orange baton, and will snap with each step I take away from the house.

Just steps from my door, I see through the collected ice caked over my eye lashes – some fool walking his dog. Smiling. Waving. Obviously delusional from hypothermia. Do I keep going, or turn back to the safety of my home? Think man, think!!!

NEXT:

Garbage Day, and Mrs. That Dan Guy doesn’t believe my assertion that there is a mobile shoe vendor outside on the curb. Will I have to take out the garbage myself, or can I roll it down the driveway?

Chow for now…

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Here’s something I’ve learned recently – Canada is cold. I know – that seems to be a well-known stereotype (we all live in igloos, and wear beaver-skin hats), but after such an extended run of mild weather, this current brush with typical, seasonal Canadian winter weather blows. Why, I could almost kick in the wall of our igloo, and don’t dare take off my beaver-skin hat when I go to bed at night. This is cold stuff, folks!!

So, what are our options?

Well, we could hasten global warming. I’ve got no problem personally with 12 months of Speedo season. I’d even wax my back hair if I could lounge in the yard in January, splayed out on a lawn chair.

We could also quit griping, and simply move to Hawaii, Florida, or Albuquerque. I don’t know how hot it gets in Albuquerque, but any city that almost spells “barbecue” can’t be all that bad…

Chow for now!!

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Interesting, these past 12 hours…

Overnight, there was a massive water main break in an area of the city not all that close to us, but a route I might have taken later this morning. Good thing we’ve got plenty of alternate routes around here. Still, it would be fun to drive by, and see such a large outdoor skating rink. Maybe the odd frozen goose or two.

Earlier, Mrs. That Dan Guy awoke, only to find the power go out shortly thereafter. The whole neighbourhood was hit with an outage – NOT an outrage, although if someone had been in the middle of cooking bacon and eggs, they may have been a little outraged, if not at least heavily miffed.

It all began last night though – interestingly enough in the light of a full moon. I had come downstairs to get some sort of healthy snack from the freezer portion of our fridge, and noticed a crackling sound inside the dang thing. When I looked inside, I could see a bright orange glow (NOT Orange Glo, the miracle household cleaner), a strip not unlike a coil or element from a portable heater illuminated inside the freezer.

Naturally, I c*apped my drawers, hollering for MTDG to get the heck downstairs, and see this situation for herself.

Which she did. We determined we had to pull the fridge out, which kind-of also helped pull my back out a bit. After a quick inspection, we determined that there was “nothing to see here folks”. The same thing was determined about the fridge.

We’ll surf The Google this morning to see if this is normal operating procedure for a household freezer, or if we have a potential time bomb ticking away in our kitchen.

Life – never dull here in the Such Is Life household…

Chow for now!!

Monday, November 30, 2009

November – that’s a wrap!

And in Canada, it was a November sans precipitation – lacking rain or snow (mainly snow, being Canada and all…). Only one day of wet, but it was enough to cause 544 accidents from start to finish of the sudden snowfall.

Mrs. That Dan Guy and I happened to be out that day, and a trip that would normally take half an hour took two and a half hours. I’ve still got parts of the steering wheel embedded in my palms. My braking leg is paralyzed into a stance not unlike a dog at a fire hydrant.

In unrelated news, yesterday we had our Big National Football Championship, and what a nail-biter it was, being decided by a field goal in the last two seconds. Well, there was much more drama than that, and enormous heartache for the losing team, who had already begun to celebrate their championship win before a penalty strangled their dreams, and rolled it down an embankment into a gully of despair. For my money, the right team won. What a thriller!

Gotta go, we’re getting the house ready to greet December – who seems to be bringing along an appropriate level of Canadian chill, for this time of year. Otherwise known as frostbite.

Chow for now!!

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Hey, my review of Calgary's Stage West Theatre production of "British Invasion" ran in yesterday's Calgary Herald! I added a hot link to yesterday's blog, if you scroll back you can view it from there...

And don't forget to scroll back a bit further, to hit the links to interviews with the stars of the show - if you haven't already! We're a full meal deal, here at "Such Is Life"!

*********************************************************************
Does anyone else out there wonder what it might be like to bag leftover coffee grounds, and try soaking them in water like a tea bag? I'd probably cut open some unused tea bags, if that didn't seem like a bit of a waste of money. But I really need to know if I can double the use of the average coffee grind.

Science projects in action....

Chow for now!!

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Standout singers capture essence of British Invasion

Standout singers capture essence of British Invasion

Chicken Scratch

By Charlie Chicken – guest key-pecker

Hello humans…

Do ya like my body – do ya think I’m sexy, come on peoples tell me now..

BUK-AAAAWK!!!

It dawned on me the other day – what with all the coverage that Alaska lady is getting’ with her book release, that maybe I was missin’ the boat to riches and glory.

I got ta thinkin’ that if her former sorta son-in-law Acid Wash, or Stone Scrub could pose for Playgirl magazine, then why was I missin’ the celebrity cruise ship? I mean, come on – check out this come hither look I captured lass night!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

I know, I know – sorta cruel to dazzle yer eyeballs so early in the mornin’, releasin’ the genie of passion before ya mighta even had breakfast, but this ole chicken needs some dough-ray-fer-mi, so I hadda drop the knuckle covers, and put together a portfolio fer the publishers of that publikation. Hot stuff!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Poor Cornelius wasn’t so happy though, taking my glam shots. It’s not like the curly-haired meathead ain’t ever seen bare pinfeathers before!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Well, I gotta go shave my back. Today is patootie shots!

Cluck fer now!!

Friday, November 27, 2009

NOTE:

Today’s blog posting will be late. Delayed. Somewhat put off.

I may not even get to it by the time the last rooster has crowed. The sun could be high in the sky, like a big pizza pie by the time I get around to posting this morning.

Afternoon soap operas could be starting before I even begin to tap a single key on my word processor. Hell, the evening news could be mid-broadcast before I even come up with something to talk about, let alone post.

My 5 o’clock shadow could be edging towards a ZZ Top beard, before I post this morning. Oprah could be retired, before I get to this blasted post today.

Just sayin’…don't go looking for data input in this space anytime soon today.

Chow for now!

Thursday, November 26, 2009


Last night Mrs. That Dan Guy and I took a break from the network programs we usually watch Wednesday evenings, to catch a bit of the Phoenix Coyotes/Calgary Flames game last night. In the third period, Phoenix’s #11 (Martin Hanzal) was in the face-off circle. Not too long after that, Calgary got somor sort of penalty called, which allowed the Coyotes to score (do I need to explain here that the Coyotes are an NHL hockey team, and not actual coyotes??).
What we didn’t realize at the time was that Phoenix had had a bit of an ongoing scoring drought. They rolled some graphics that showed it had been 111 minutes and 10 seconds since the last Coyotes goal. 111.10. Oh yeah – that made the score at the time 1-1…

Egads…
Hey, if you happen to watch Paul McCartney’s “Good Evening New York City” concert special tonight, look for a couple of giddy Canadians in the audience. We attended the third night of the series of shows he put on in CITI Field – and perhaps the cameraman happened to catch us cheering on the legendary former Beatle.
With my luck I had probably fainted when the camera panned the audience…
Chow for now!!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Once again, Morning has broken. There are pieces of it all over our kitchen floor.

Maybe if Morning didn’t arrive every flipping day with all that fanfare (sunrise, and other stuff I can’t think of right now), it wouldn’t be so prone to breaking every day.

Now, we’re mourning for morning - until it can do a Humpty Dumpty, pick up all its pieces, and put itself together again.

Until then, we will console ourselves with caffeine, and The Game Show network…

Chow for now!!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

I don’t know why. Sometimes I just can’t get to sleep at night. I flip, I flop…sometimes I even fly. There must be some sort of scientific explanation for it – insomnia, hyper brain activity, worry and anguish over Oprah calling it quits…I suppose I should try and get to the bottom of it.

At the very least, I may have to try cutting back on my three nightly cups of espresso.

Last night, my tossin’ and turnin’ awoke Mrs. That Dan Guy, who usually wakes up whilst I am already watching TV, having been up for a few moments already. I’ll get some sort of “get your ass back to bed right now” speech from Crazy-Haired Hall Monitor lady, then she goes back to sleep and I can continue watching infomercials (Sham-Wow? Sham Wowie!!).

However, much to my surprise, she joined me in my nocturnal couch-perching in the wee hours of this morning – part of which is the reason today’s post is running so late. If you’ve stayed home from work today waiting to read this, I offer my sincere apologies…

Chow for now!!

Monday, November 23, 2009

And then suddenly, it was the Grey Cup final that no one cared about (unless they were from Saskatchewan or Quebec – great – the two goofiest-sounding provinces…).

Despite having resided in THREE different provinces ourselves, Mrs. That Dan Guy and I are whistling now, with respect to the upcoming match-up. Winnipeg, B.C, and now Alberta – all eliminated.

We will admit, heartbreaking as this is, it just doesn’t measures up to Oprah announcing the end of her show, or the latest entry in the “Twilight” franchise arriving in movie theatres everywhere.

It certainly doesn’t come close to Jon, Kate and their eight going off the air. Forever.

But it still stings…Chow for now!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

So this is what 4 AM looks like…

Sheesh – I should still be sound asleep, but for reasons I’m entirely unaware of – I’m wide awake.

Well, as long as I’m up:

Caved in to peer pressure today, and turned on our outdoor Christmas lights. I had planned on waiting until December 1st, but every night when we were coming home from an outing, more and more homes in our neighbourhood had launched their own elaborate displays. I tried to be strong, but when every home around you has packs of illuminated moose and deer bobbing their heads, you start to feel guilty that you aren’t even showing a wee twinkle of your own yet. Let alone decking your halls!

So, we are officially open for business, as far as Santa is concerned. Can’t believe how easily I caved in – but there’s some solace in knowing that a neighbour across the street saw me up on the ladder, and hastily erected his own display.

Some days you’re a rebel, some days you’re a lemming…

Chow for now!!

Saturday, November 21, 2009


Chicken Scratch

(posted every Saturday (or so) by guest blogger Charlie Chicken)

It has come to my attention recently, that certain fast-food restaurants actually serve…give me strength…FRIED CHICKEN!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

I say, I say, boy…

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Who the cluck sanctioned this sort of wholesale cannibalism? And what sort of heinous black-hearted consumer would actually walk through the doors of such establishments, knowingly purchasing parts of cousin Wally, or dear Aunt Edna?

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Would these same heartless cluckers line up for Kentucky-fried kittens, or slow-roasted toddlers?

I THINK NOT!!!!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Not only are there fried chickens shacks all across the nation(s), I even read online yesterday about something they called…GASP…SLOW-PULLED CHICKEN SANDWICHES!!

AAAAWKKKK!!!!

Unless thas a massage parlour for poultry - I got me a mental image of some of us chickens as Stretch Armstrong, an IT AIN’T PRETTY!!!

For cluck’s sake – quit supportin’ wholesale murder – I can tell ya, us chickens ain’t thinkin’ up sweet n sour recipes for YOU people…

Cluck for now, bless ma shiverin’ pinfeathers…!

Friday, November 20, 2009

I’ve got to admit – seeing grass this late in November is a heartwarming thing, living in Canada.

To clarify, I mean grass as in LAWN, NOT grass like “Cheech asked Chong if he had any more grass left for the bong”.

Yes sir – in Canada, never mind Alberta which sits in the shadow of the Rocky Mountains, when you see visible lawn – you just about want to put the parka and earmuffs back in the closet, and dance on the aforementioned lawn in a tutu and Speedo.

Maybe that’s just me…

Of course, we did get snow back in late August I think, and temperatures plunged below levels penguins struggle with in Antarctica, but right now, as the Chinooks or weather gods are merciful - -all is well in our world.

Chow for now!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Part Three in the "British Invasion" interview series, now somewhere up online in the cyber-ether for downloading. Once again, as I have absolutely no clue how this thing works, but you can either change this page to an RSS (Really Swell Signal?) feed, and hit the link there for my chat with Canadian Idol winner Melissa O'Neil, or tap that (the link below):

http://thatdanguy.libsyn.com/

Either way, magical elves inside your computer will conjure up the files somehow - much like how math works.

Oh yeah, and scroll back down to read the show's review - the Calgary Herald review is still pending...

************************************************************

Hey, last night Mrs. That Dan Guy and I were walking along in the mall, when we passed a display of computers. The sales rep cheerfully asked if I wanted to enter a draw to win a free computer.

He had me at free - until I realized it was a Windows (PC) computer.

NOT A CHANCE, WINDOWS!!!!

Chow for now!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Convert today's post to an RSS feed (the little orange symbol somewhere on the page, or click on:

http://thatdanguy.libsyn.com/

to listen to Part Two of three in my "British Invasion" series. Musician and actor Terry Hatty talks about his lengthy career, and his latest album.

Don't forget, if you're stopping here for the very first time, you can scroll down (Nov 14th, I think) to read a review of the show as well. Watch out for rubber chickens along the way...

Coming soon - Part Three - a chat with Candian Idol winner Melissa O'Neil.

Gotta run - I'm marinating my Frosted Flakes in skim milk, and I think I saw signs of flaccidity...

Chow for now!!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Posting Comments:

This new look for “Such Is Life” comes with a few challenges. If you haven’t been able to find the appropriate link on this page to post a comment, dig out your magnifying glass, and put your finger on the computer screen, and follow down to the end of each column (post, piece, ramble).

Down there, you will find minute lettering indicating that you can click and post your comments.

I’m hoping that certain individuals will be able to post this time around, so that I can keep this freshened view.

Tomorrow – what does Canadian rocker/actor Terry Hatty have in common with Argy’s Collectibles in Winnipeg (now on Facebook, collectibles fans…)?

Well, I guess you’ll just to stop by this space for a visit, to find out.

Chow for now!!

Monday, November 16, 2009



Still not sure how all this online sorcery works, but I believe that if you convert today’s post to an RSS feed, a link I’ve embedded will magically appear, and you will be able to either listen to, or download Part One of a three-part podcast series.

Today’s link will be my chat with musician and actor Gerrad Everard, one of the talented cast members kicking musical butt in Stage West’s production of “British Invasion”.

However, if sorcery affinity is not something you can readily claim proficiency in, just click this link below:

http://thatdanguy.libsyn.com/

These will all be available on iTunes as well (still the closest I am coming to working in an Apple environment – sigh…) – free for you to download, my friends!

Oh yeah, and scroll back down to the November 14 post for a review of that show.

Chow for now!!

Sunday, November 15, 2009


Chicken Scratch

COMING THIS DECEMBER!!

It’s the brand-new album from “Crew-Cut Chuck & The Gristly Chicklets”!

Following up on their ill-advised cover album of Celine Dion hits, this time Crew-Cut takes on the beloved songbook of legendary pop star Neil Diamond. Offering their own wacky take on well known hits, the gang will pluck at your music bones with:

Sweet Caroline Corn Pellets

I Am, I Pecked
Beak Turned Blue
Cacklin’ Rosie
Your ears will tingle with delight as Chuck and his Chicklets put their own clawprints on”
Forever In PinFeathers
You Don’t Bring Me Gravy Anymore
Holly Holy Pluck
Love On The Rocks, Seeds On The Gravel

Relive the dazzle of re-interpreted Diamond with:
Solitary Chicken
Yesterday’s Songs (Don’t Crow Very Long)”
Red Red Wine (My Cluckin’ Head…)”
Coming This Decemeber:

Crew-Cut Chuck & The Gristly Chicklets: “The Diamond Sessions
Clear a place in your roost for this treasure!
Cluck for now!!