Things That May Be Running Through Santa’s Head Right Now:

1) Where the heck did I leave those blasted sleigh keys?

2) “Martha, have you sewn up that tear in my long underwear yet?”

3) Screw this – I’m going to Vegas this year…

4) Oh-Oh! Better pack some Imodium…

5) If Lady Ga Ga married Fred Forgingerbread, would that make her Ga Ga Forgingerbread??

6) Did I load the radar detector??

7) On Donner! On Dancer! My, what a lovely venison stew you’ll make!!

8) What’s this ruddy knot doing in my beard??

9) 25…26…what does it really matter after all??

10) By Ohio, maybe Indiana the furthest, Santa’s gonna need to attend to these goldarn hemorrhoids…

11) Great! Now I’ll have to work TWICE as hard once Oprah retires…

12) Mrs Claus? Why do you think the song lyrics are “don we now our GAY apparel”???

Chow for now!!