Ed Lobster was steamed. Crusty as the old crustacean may have been, when he read the headline in his local newspaper, he became literally boiling mad.

Ed Lobster worked at the local butter factory (no small sense of irony there, I suppose), and the newspaper outlined a plan by management to unilaterally alter a claws in the employees’ contract.

Umm, clause, I mean…

Going entirely against the intent of the collective agreement, management was intending to withdraw lunchtime hot tub privileges, negotiated during the last round of hard-fought…negotiations. This sudden change to the workers’ contract was likely to send all the lobsters on the roll (payroll) into the soup – maybe even inspire a boisterous strike. A work stoppage at the very least.

This wasn’t the first time that the Thermidor Butter Company had tinkered with a claws in the contract (clause…sorry…). A couple of years ago, Ed Lobster (union rep since 2006) had to remind his employers that they needed to be more compassionate when employees were crabbing about their lives to the HR department – even if that griping was frequently just one sad tail after another (tale, I mean. Goodness, what is wrong with me??)

Ed Lobster was steamed. Butter battle lines were being drawn – someone would have to crack…

Chow for now!!