Walloping Mallets Fall In 1^st Exhibition Matchup

It’s hard to say if the devastating loss of the Montreal Canadiens last night played heavily on the minds of The Walloping Mallets in their season-opener exhibition match loss. Frankly, it shouldn’t have, as the match was played in the early afternoon, long before the NHL semi-final.

Maybe as a rec league croquet team, the players were jointly worrying about the lawn still trying to re-grow, further away in the very yard the croquet course was set up in. How long does grass need to be nurtured along before it gets off its ass and sprouts??????

Ahem…

Most likely, it was the loss of team captain Angus “Hammer Time” Yoshima, who left the game after trying to mallet a competitor’s ball away into a corner, but instead seriously injured his own foot when the crocs he was wearing proved to be less sturdy than a croquet mallet swung at high speed.

If all goes well, his cast will come off in late June…

In the 27-3 loss, The Mallets certainly showed some early promise, but a clear inability to aim the croquet ball through rather large metal U-shaped hoops is going to have to be overcome, if this team hopes to make the playoffs. Less beer during the match might also be helpful.

The team loses home turf advantage for the next game, as they hit the road.

Chow.

For now…