thatdanguy's podcast

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Tuesday, May 18, 2010

This time of year, my focus turns to the rec league sports that I participate in. Well, sport, technically. I’m on a weeknight beer league croquet team – “The Walloping Mallets”.

I know – how do I find time in MY busy schedule to commit to a grueling season of competition? Well, thankfully we don’t play on any nights that “Glee” airs, so that clears up some VCR tape. Practices don’t typically last over two hours on any given evening, so that also allows me time to attend to more pressing items, like watering my lawn, and napping.

Croquet matches, such as they are, only ever last about 15 minutes or so, so game nights virtually fly by, unless we go into sudden-death overtime. On those occasions, you’re almost forced to set your beer down, and focus on the task at hand – which is walloping the croquet ball through the little wire hoops. Until it hits the little wooden stake, signifying you have crushed your competitors, and have edged ever closer to securing a playoff spot, later in the summer. Your endorsement deals pretty much ride on a successful playoff season – which is why I have ordered some DVDs off of the internet, to give our team an edge this season. I’m hoping there’s at least one tip on preventing those painful mallet welts on my palms.

Well, better run – I have to press my uniform. And pick up more beer.

Chow for now!!


Mrs That Dan Guy said...

Oh brother! I'll give you a Walloping something!
Seriously, a tip to prevent those painful mallet welts on your palms is to do more and more work so your palms become accustomed. For example, sweeping, lawn mowing, vacuuming. Anything to simulate that walloping mallet.
I'll go get you the vacuum now so you can see what I mean.

ThatDanGuy said...

Promises, promises...

Ooh - all that work talk - I'm breaking out in hives!

St. Hives!!