Vegetables Make Me Nervous...

Unlike junk food, which often appears to me as inviting and comforting, vegetables have a rough-and-tumble appearance that makes me question what their intent may be. I have no problem believing that they provide "roughage", what with their coarse, imperfect texture and all...

I also find that Twinkies, potato chips, pretzels, ice cream sandwiches, peanuts, popcorn, Ding Dongs, taco chips and chocolate bars (just to name a few) frequently shoot me inviting "come-hither" looks, whilst vegetables almost seem to be daring me to consume them. They're like gang members with huge beer guts and tattoos. I don't think they really can be trusted - especially if the primary benefit (bereft of pleasure) is "fire in the hole"...

So to summarize - I am unsure of those beady-eyed vegetables, regardless of what so-called experts claim. Pass me a corn dog - hey, that's a vegetable!!

Chow for now!