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Saturday, October 17, 2009

Chicken Scratch

Howdy, humans – Charlie here, getting’ ya prepped for tha enda tha month – even chickens got standards, ya know…

This Halloween, I hope to gitcha ready to provide only the TOP quality a snacks when yer handin’ out yer goodies – NUNNA that HOMEMADE CRAPOLA!!


Yeah, I can barely scratch my red pointy thing on my noggin, when I thinka how many morons still insist on givin’ out CRAP at Halloween. Kids and chickens wait all cluckin’ year ta fill bags or pillow cases with TREATS, and some clown families out there ALWAYS insists on givin’ out sumthin’ healthy, or stoopid - like sunflower seeds. Do I LOOK like a pluckin' flowerbed???

If ya don’t wanna getta setta brass knuckles in yer kneecap, leave them “apples”, “popcorn”, or baggies filled with veggie sticks out in yer back yard, where the raccoons will GLADLY rip inta them. How can I say this politely…CANDY!!!!!!!!!


I’m posin’ here with some simple exampulls of acceptable fare for my candy bag. Chocolate bars/candy kisses/rockets/Twizzlers/Candy Corn (pellets if ya can find ‘em)/Belgium chocolate – anything with enough sugar ta rot yer molars in under a week, if ya eat the cluckin’ stuff every day.


So, this year for Halloween folks – give a chicken (and the heavier kids in yer neighbourhood – heck, even the skinny ones will appreciate it) a break – hand out premium candy, and don’t be so pluckin’ stingy about it when ya do.

Remember, the Great Pumpkin will be watchin’…

Cluck for now!!

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