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Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Several Indications You May NOT Be Enjoying A Top-Drawer Elvis Tribute Artist

Alright, you’ve been an Elvis fan for a long time, and never had the chance to see him perform live, before he fatally keeled over in his can at Graceland. So, you’ve opted for the next best thing – an impersonator.

However, not having had the true live Elvis experience, how can you be assured that this performer is truly an accurate representation of seeing The King live in concert?

Here’s a few helpful suggestions, to guide you, and confirm that YOUR impersonator is not an accurate recreation of Elvis live in concert:

1) Your Elvis tribute artist keeps taking hits from his inhaler, DURING songs – get your money back!

2) Your Elvis tribute artist has an afro – and keeps quoting Robert Downey Jr.'s character from the hit movie Tropic Thunder – head for the hills!

3) Your Elvis Tribute artist is chain-smoking, and making off-colour comments about the drummer in his back-up band. When he starts flinging towels at imaginary bats, you may want to tiptoe out of the showroom…

4) Your Elvis tribute artist keeps referring to “El’s affection for handguns”, and dares audience members to heckle him. NOT a legitimate impersonator.

5) Your Elvis tribute artist is wearing a jumpsuit reconfigured into hot pants, and a set of stiletto heels. However, he has failed to shave his legs, and insists on doing “Proud Mary” instead of “Hound Dog”. Your Elvis tribute artist is loopy as a barnyard rat…

6) Your Elvis tribute artist refuses to perform unless he has a Col. Tom Parker tribute artist guiding his career.

7) Your Elvis tribute artist is a golden retriever with sideburns…ask for your money back!

Chow for now!!

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