Fishing, Made Easy

As a veteran recreational fisherman, I’ve had to learn a few tricks over the years, to allow for a successful day out in the marsh.

1) Rod & reel: Even though bears can fish fish right out of the water with their massive paws, I have found that a line with a hook will produce results for the average human. Whenever I have tried to use my own paws, I can swear that I hear fish snickering…

2) Bait: An essential part of the success formula when sport-fishing. While traditional items such as earthworms and minnows have shown results in the past, other baits that you can try in a pinch would be peanut butter sandwiches, pork and beans in a small Ziploc baggie, granola bars, or a High School Musical soundtrack CD.

3) Patience: the art of fishing requires as much patience as skill. Once your line has been set, you must sit back, and wait. Several tricks to help pass the time are smoking cigars, drinking beer, and farting along to the tune of “Summer In The City”.

4) Creative trolling: NOT what it sounds like, this does not involve trolls. Trolling as a fishing technique is a method whereby your boat will drift with the current, and your bait then appears more lifelike to wary fish. If your bait is a stale doughnut, not many fish will be fooled by this technique…

5) A fishing net; once a fish takes your bait and you have played him/her to a state of exhaustion, the trained sports fisherman will try not the lose the damn thing while lifting it into the boat. A net virtually guarantees that your catch will not be unintentionally released. However, you still have to make sure the fish actually gets into the net, as opposed to thrashing its way of the hook, and back under the log you somehow managed to avoid getting your line snagged on.

6) Wide-angle photo lens: Makes even the smallest fish look like a Great White tuna…

I have every confidence that I’ll be posting some pretty incredible pictures here tomorrow. Please come back, and be prepared to be awed…

Chow for now!