Chicken Scratch

Summer Cookin’, With Chef Charlie

Today’s Entrée: Chicken Caesar Salad

Ingredients:

1) Gather together some of the finest chickens, raised lovingly by farmers that have sung gently to the poultry at night, and spent countless daylight hours grooming their feathers. The chickens’, not the farmers’…

2) Gather freshly-picked romaine lettuce that has the perfect blend of crispness and flexibility. The leaves must have achieved a shade of green generally reserved for only the most overall elite in the emerald palette, or the common tone one associates with teenaged Mississippi bullfrogs.

3) Bake a loaf of sourdough bread, age it on a south-facing windowsill for three days. Then bake it once more while basted in a blend of middle-eastern herbs and spices, and three spoonfuls of lard. Cube the final product into identical-sized portions, and set those aside, to be added later.

4) Raise an orphaned goat, from which you will eventually draw the necessary ingredients to make the cheese that you will craft into something exceeding the standards of conventional parmesan. In your blacksmith shop, handcraft a modestly-sized grater, which you will use solely for preparing the cheese.

5) Only the fruit from a certified Trini Lopez™ Lemon Tree should be purchased, which you will hand-squeeze over the lettuce leaves.

6) Finally, Paul Newman’s Caesar Salad Dressing ain’t all that bad – pick up a bottle of that stuff.

7) Combine all the ingredients in a large bowl. Chill, and serve.

Enjoy your summer-time favourite, Chicken Caesar Salad!!

Bon Appétit!

(Cluck for now!!!)