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Friday, March 08, 2013

Easter Rabbit Etiquette

This Easter, don't leave things to chance. Today, I will share the PROPER way to consume an Easter rabbit made of delicious milk chocolate.

First off, these rules apply for the solid bunnies as much as they do the wasted money you might spend on a hollow rabbit. In my humble opinion,  it should be a federal offense to omit the full amount of chocolate in holiday offerings. Just stuffing marshmallow inside is a sad attempt to deceive consumers...

Regardless, here are my tips:

1) Ears Away!!  Always, always bite off the ears first. One could almost survive on chocolate rabbit ears alone, but hang in - the rest of the bunny is indeed as delightful as those ears...

2) Eye C(onsume) You... If you feel guilt over an earless rabbit pleading at you with their eyes, you will appreciate this next tip. OFF WITH THE HEAD!! Remove that peering eyeball along with the rest of the bunny's noggin, and voila! No more guilt!

3) Getting A Leg Up - Into Your "Rabbit-Hole": If your chocolate rabbit has stayed in one place so far, ensure that the bunny will stick around longer by removing the bottom portion of the candy. Thumper? Hard to thump without those lucky rabbit's feet!

4) Free-For-All: After the aforementioned items have been removed, it is now appropriate to consume whatever your heart desires next. At this point, it should no longer resemble a rabbit anyhow. Even a PETA member should feel comfortable breaking off a piece and gnawing on it.

There you have it! This Easter, follow these simple rules to enjoy your chocolate rabbit to the utmost.

Chow for now!


Mrs That Dan Guy said...

OMG! Etiquette? You got to get some Mr That Dan Guy!

So sad.

The proper way is to start with the base at the bottom (it is non-descript, no feet, no legs), eat your way up.

Leave the head , eyes and ears intact and store away somewhere for the rest of your life. Avoid the shame. Avoid the guilt.

Oh, one more IMPORTANT note: Do not let your husband anywhere near your rabbit! Or, voila, the ears disappear!

ThatDanGuy said...

I repeat - ears, CHOMP!!!

Eyeballs - CHOMP

Chompa your head...

Chompa your ears....

Mrs. That Dan Guy said...


ThatDanGuy said...

Oh my!