Second Evening – Counting Frogs…

Well, after a complete debacle the night before trying to count sheep as I lay in bed attempting to fall asleep (unlike Mrs. That Dan Guy – blissfully snoring away like a blender crushing ice cubes and medium-sized gravel), I decided I might try counting frogs instead.

The traditional sheep counting hadn’t worked out. Looking at other avenues, I reckoned that frogs hopped, and if enough of them lined up on an infinite number of lily pads, I’d be set – blissful slumber would finally be mine!

Not my best idea, it turns out. Frogs don’t exactly leap on demand, even if they do just have to hop over a fence that's lower than a prostrate paper clip. When you stop to think about it, how often do you ever see a frog leaping around, except in cartoons?

To compound matters, when you do manage to line up an infinite number of frogs, on an infinite number of lily pads, who knew they’d get to chatting, and griping about that celebrity octopus that predicts the World Cup soccer winners?

“Ribbit-ribbit-show-off squid…”

“Ribbit-ribbit-see-how-smart-he-is-as-calamari…”

SHEESH! I need to count something, people – NOT listen to a bunch of obese toads griping about other water-dwellers with more celebrity cachet than themselves!

After researching recipes online (Garlic Basted Frog’s Legs…maybe I’ll count how many servings of those I can snarf down…), I determined that I better get back to mammals. If deer are mammals, then I’m set for tonight. I know they can jump over fences. Maybe I’ll hire a couple of wolves to make sure they don’t get distracted.

Only in the Such Is Life household, I’m sure…

Chow for now!