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Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Building a Raft (for leisure, fun or profit)

Seeing as how we are filthy with rivers in this city, I have decided to pull a page from a great American literary classic, and use this summer to build myself a raft – a la Huckleberry Finn – to navigate these great waterways throughout the city.

Sure, it could be argued that the multitudes are already utilizing these rivers, albeit with flimsy flotation devices, and occasionally even rather sturdy water-ready floaty things.

I, on the other hand, will hew a raft from the wood of the surrounding forest, like a great Canadian lumberjack. I will lash these fallen logs together, with great vines and thinner branches, and fill in any potential holes with mud from the banks of the estuary.

I will install a skookum Captain’s Chair, because at my age, I’d just be inviting varicose veins if I stood too long piloting this craft…

Yes, I will fabricate a vessel from nature that will inspire locals and tourists alike to clamber aboard, as we set sail…err..oar…for points I frankly have yet to discover myself. Like Huck, I will learn to whistle, and charm the passengers on my raft by eating grasshoppers.

Or maybe I’ll just wear a straw hat. I want to try and be as authentic as possible, without actually being on the Mississippi.

This sounds like the adventure of the summer. I can’t foresee a single flaw in THIS plan!


For now…

All Aboard!!!


Mrs That Dan Guy said...

You can't? Ok, if you say so.

Anyways, I suggest you start by mastering whistling. Once you have that down-pat, then you can start on the raft part!

ThatDanGuy said...

I whistle while I work...