Well, I've hit a new high-water mark regarding my klutziness. Yesterday, I managed the near-impossible, completely unprecedented experience of dropping my new Blackberry wireless device into...the toilet.

How is this possible? You've got to be kidding me?

Sadly, no. I watched as that little mobile device leapt from my breast pocket, returning to the closest stream it could find to spawn in. Not only is "stream" entirely inappropriate in this conversation, the device failed to spawn after its great escape - it simply died.

Why am I surprised that this could happen to me? After all, I'm the same guy that has:

-recently fallen down a set of concrete steps;
-carved a 4-inch scar into my cheek while staining my sundeck - and I don't mean my facial cheek;
-cut my foot while folding socks;
-inserted my house key deep into my palm while waving "good morning" to a neighbor.

There's more. Loads more. But that should give you just a little bit of an idea of how clumsy I am. Chevy Chase and John Ritter were gazelles by comparison.

So, I am now nursing my Blackberry, hopefully back to life. I have come to rely to the point of ridiculous on the thing, so the sooner he returns to me, the better.

All I have now is my barren hip, where once he used to play.

Please come back...

Chow for now!!