Effective immediately, I am suspending my ongoing efforts to "help bring sexy back".

It's not that they haven't been successful (at least in my own humble opinion - although shaving my legs everyday was getting to be a bit of a pain in the butt...).

Rather I am redirecting my energy into something that I believe will ultimately be of more benefit to me personally, should I ever run afoul of the law. I am now making my life's mission...drum roll...to be: "That's Hot".

Yessir, considering Paris Hilton's sudden release from prison due to "medical reasons" (the entire staff at the lightweight penal facility was sick to death of her), I am motivated to build up a goodwill bank such as hers, should I ever find myself sentenced similarly. Why ride out 23 horrific days in a plush prison, when a bit of whining and acting like a spoiled brat will get you released early?

Imagine how much the government will be able to save, releasing people after such short stops in the joint. Armed robbery? Come on by - we won't inconvenience you - you'll be out holding up 7-11's again in no time!!

Cheat on your taxes? Hey, who hasn't!! Drop by our compound for the weekend, and you'll be out by Monday! And, we validate your parking stubs!!

Graffiti artist? Come on by and peruse our state-of-the-art 2800 sq. ft. studio - but don't worry - all our courses run in under 48 hours! You could be working on the same pottery equipment as Martha Stewart did!

Yeah. yeah. That's the ticket. "That's Hot!" I'm gonna be a male Paris Hilton. It's like a gold-plated Monopoly get-out-of-jail-free card!!

Chow for now. Hey, that's hot!!