Saturday, 1 PM:

Great. It's a beautiful, sunny day. The temperature is rising. In the upper level of our home, our bedding is melting, and running down the side of the bed...

Saturday, 3 PM:

Briefly considered removing the racks in our fridge, but warm beer is worse than warm Dan Guy. Stuck a couple of oranges under my armpits, until I cooled off a bit. Failed to identify which ones those were, later in the day for Mrs. That Dan Guy...

Saturday, 3:30 PM:

We've decided to go for a little drive. In our air-conditioned car. To someplace air-conditioned. Must stop sweating...

Saturday, 4:30 PM:

Found a lovely little place to kill a few hours. Cool beverages, climate-controlled environment, slot machines. All is well in the world.

Back home, our upstairs sofa has crawled downstairs, opened up the refrigerator, and put a couple of cold oranges under its armpits...

Saturday, 6:00 PM:

We are eating, and coming to terms with the fact that we may have to leave this Utopia of flashing lights, ringing bells, and cool temperatures. We eat like our plates are full of raw broccoli.

Saturday, 7:30 PM:

To extend our reprieve from sweating like yaks, and get a nominal degree of exercise, we park downtown, and take a walk around Prince's Island Park. Probably named after a real prince, not Prince... We are unable to locate the "island"...

Two items of note:

First, we got to see a beaver climb out of the water, and cross the road. We were close enough to touch it (please insert your own joke here). It was VERY wet (again, fill your boots).

Second, we got caught in a freak rainstorm. In the sunshine and heat. Weather here is confirmed as totally psychotic.

Saturday, 9:00 PM:

We've run out of options. We must return home. Unlocking the door, I swear I can hear what sounds like oranges being tossed into the fridge, and upholstery bumping hastily up the stairs...

Heading upstairs, we are pelted with waves of heat, not unlike what it must feel in the heart of the Sahara Desert. Wishing it was the Sahara Dessert, and that our choice was ice cream...

Our electric fan is completely disinterested in spinning, let alone cooling us off. The feeble whip-whip-whip is NOT helping us out at all...

In a corner somewhere, I can hear Charlie cursing, and calling us "cheap featherless bastards"???

Saturday, 11:55 PM:

Just finished watching Woody Allen's "Scoop". Not too bad a movie. Sadly, a classy who-done-it, NOT a film about Ben & Jerry's...

Sunday, 12:05 AM:

Still hotter than a frying pan in here. Must sleep...sweating...hot...uhhhhhh..........


Chow for now!!