Come this time of year, my thoughts turn to very serious matters - dandelion control, propane levels in my gas grill, and finding the worst possible televised train wreck, to watch over the next few weeks.

I"VE FOUND IT!!!

"The Next Big Thing - Greatest Celebrity Impersonator" debuted last night, and this is so far beyond train wreck you'd have to lay down new tracks to reach it!!

How bad is it? Well, if you surf The Google with "Next Big Thing", it doesn't even come up!! Even my neighbor's dog Spurs comes up, in surfing The Google. You really have to add the whole title, or it doesn't rank at all...

The show itself? Well, for starters, how about a host and judges that even the best-connected entertainment know-it-alls have probably never heard off? Does that suit your fancy? These guys couldn't get arrested for stealing time, which is their greatest crime after the first hour last night.

And the "greatest celebrity impersonators"??? I'll admit, there were one or two accidental talents on the show, but overall - HUMONGOUSLY HORRENDOUS!! John Byner would be rolling over in his grave, waking up Rich Little to warn him of their shattered legacies (what, they're dead, aren't they??)...

This is absolutely must-see TV, if you enjoy cringing in sheer horror at what human beings honestly believe to be talent...

I LOVE IT!!!

Chow for now!!