Chicken Scratch

Crappydoodles…

Forgot to put on my mask, so now I’m cluckin’ busted! Ya got me. Yeah, that's right - I’m Spiderman.

Please, hold your a-claws. It's embarrasin'...

I know what you’re thinkin’. How do I hide my beak, while my mask is on?? Well, pretty much the same phenomenon that lets Aquaman live underwater, while he ain’t got no gills…it's science, you smooth-skinned mammal!!

So, by now you probably also know, I’M CLUCKIN’ LOADED!! My movie is doing so good at the box office these days, I’m gonna have to buy a bank, just to save on deposit fees.

Buk-AAAWK!!!

This ain’t no “chicken scratch” income, featherless wonders! Charlie’s gonna get some Trump hair!!

Although, I see it ain’t exactly coming to me directly, so I better make a phone call or two. My agent may already be livin’ in Bora Bora, with a Hilton sister…

What’s that? I look taller onscreen? Hey, “movie magic” Toots!! They even do some digital “enhancing” - making me look like that jockey from Sea Biscuit, when my mask is off. I guess the animator wasn’t familiar with maybe a Clooney, or a Pitt…

Buk-AAAAWK!!!

Well, better get my pinfeathers in gear. I gotta go patrol for evildoers. With great power comes great responsibility…blah blah blah…

Not cluckin’ likely! I’m just gonna swing by the local Hooters, see what my owl buddies are up to today!!

Cluck for now!!