Good mornin', Ladies and Gentlemen...

Ah'm lookin' foah an acquaintance of mine, and ah was hoping you might be of some assistance.

This little fellow is one of mah...special friends. A feathery friend.

He went missin' some time ago, and ah would surely like to see him return home, safely.

His name is Charles, and ah believe he is what most people might consider slightly "fowl".

He is an innocent babe, ladies and gentlemen. Without mah ongoing care and consideration, one can only imagine the sort of trouble an impressionable young bird like himself might get into, in a strange place, with no friends or family.

At one of mah fahms, Charles enjoys a life of luxury, free fruhm the temptations of modern science. Charles has never touched a drop of alcohol, nor has he ever been swayed by the peer pressure of tobacco smokers. He enjoys some of the finest grains available. Why, he'd be about as juicy as a fresh mint julep, right about now...

Uh, not that that has anything to do with anything!! Ah just want to see poor Charles, who at this very moment may be shivering in mortal fear someweah, brought back home safe and sound.

Please help. Yoah assistance would be greatly appreciated...

Chow for now!!