Shiver me timbers, maties!! Ahoy, and swabbie on the deck!! Today's column is gonna be soggier than a soda cracker from Davey Jones' locker!! Rrrrr!!!!

That's right people - this past weekend, we finally broke down, and went to see the big summer "blockbuster" movie - Spiderman 3!

In a theatre. With hundreds of screaming young fans. And a barrel of popcorn that must have been sprinkled with golden flakes...

Actually, we caught a matinee screening, so there were less than a hundred fans in the theatre. There may have been less than fifty. I mean, Spiderman 3 is already a week or two old, so the hysteria is pretty much over and done with. I think the throngs may have been out looking for ogres or peer-ats. We had our choice of any seat in the house, of which we chose to sit in two.

So, how did Spidey stack up this time around? Well, not to sound blasphemous, but I thought this one had lots going on, with nothing much happening. Loads of cool new special effects, an extra love interest for Spidey, and almost three hours of action. But no emotional connection. It didn't tangle me in its web, not even once.

Don't get me wrong. It didn't suck. But it didn't stay with me either. Kinda like one of Tom Cruz's Mission Unpoppable movies - interesting while it's on, but gone forever after it's finished - mental cotton candy.

Will that prevent me from seeing Spiderman's 4-12?? Not freakin' likely!!!

What MIGHT stop me is spending 80 dollars for a bag of day-old popcorn, with more unpopped kernels, than puffy whitish/yellow ones. This is the second time we got popcorn that could be carbon-dated. If you're gonna charge caviar prices for a product, at least have the decency to make it the same day!! This stuff tasted like toe jam!!

Sorry...maybe it was just me...

At any rate, Spiderman 3 - for our money, not all that great. But don't let that stop you from checking it out. It may be YOUR cup of tea...

Chow for now!!