The Rising Cost Of A Snowman

Well, who knew it would ever come to this?

The timeless tradition of making a snowman is now being priced outside the affordability of the average child, let alone a young family.

Let's take coal for example. With rising heating costs, and pressure to look for more environmentally-friendly fuel sources, you can't just plunk a couple of lumps of coal into a snow head anymore for eyeballs. Try finding large bits of gravel, or a marble. Maybe a meatball, but that cold attract crows. Or cannibal snowmen!

How about smoking? 5 out of 4 doctors suggest you shouldn't smoke anymore, even if you are made of snow. So, good luck finding a corncob pipe to insert for dramatic effect! Hey, if you're in Toronto, there may be some used crackpipes in the alley behind City Hall...

Hat? Scarf? Even thrift shops have become trendy as of late, and mostly aspiring artists or uber-cool hipsters are paying big bucks, snapping up these traditional snow-person garments. You could knit something, but who has the time really?

Twigs or branches for arms? What kind of violent maniac are you, breaking off parts of a living, breathing tree? Somebody ought to report you to Greenpeace, if any of them aren't on Pipeline Protest Duty...

Snowman? How passe!!!

Too expensive for this guy!

Later.....