In the remote chance that I may offend parcel carriers everywhere today, let me just say in advance that twice bitten, third time not friggin' likely...

So, two different parcel delivery services have failed recently in the single purpose of their existence. They could not (for the life of them) correctly identify numbers on a house. Two different companies!! Do the owners of these organizations not practice with flash cards???

Maybe I'm being too hard here. I mean, both companies did get the CITY right. They just failed miserably at matching all three of our house numbers to the address on the delivery invoice.

The first time (let's call the company "Percolator" to prevent a defamation lawsuit), the parcel delivery driver roared past our home, and I thought to myself: "Wow, what are the odds that Percolator would have two deliveries on the same day, on the same street?"

As day turned to night, and my lonely vigil on the stoop eventually succumbed to the heart-breaking reality that my delivery was not going to happen, I went online, and discovered that my ladder had been successfully delivered. Just not to me!!!

One angry e-mail later, and Percolator eventually arranged to have me go directly to their depot, and pick the damn thing up. Which reminds me, what did we ever do with that ladder anyway??

No matter. We were able to conveniently pick it up, after a short drive across town, in rainy weather conditions.

Then, just the other day, another parcel was supposed to be delivered. Once again I looked outside, and noticed a (name changed to protect my ass) VPS van, speeding eagerly by the house. I thought: "Wow. What are the odds that VPS would have two deliveries on the same day, on the same street?"

Are you following me here??

Sure enough, delivery was to some fortunate soul somewhere in our neighborhood, but not us.

Again, online tracking determined the package to be successfully delivered. Thank God I wasn't waiting for a pizza, for an emergency gall bladder transplant...

One more e-mail, and the problem was sorted out. Our package arrived, and my life goes back to normal.

Well, as normal as it ever gets in this joint...

Chow for now!!