Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken…)

So…www.eHarmony.cluckfinder.webbernet …

Check.

Enter info:

“Single white poultry lookin’ fer fun-lovin’ hen with healthy plumage…”

Nah…gotta be open ta options…

“Single, dashingly handsome clucker lookin’ fer a hen that don’t fit tha desk-ription uvva cackle-brained egg-layer…”

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Sheesh – this online datin’ dialogue is difficult! How does a bird delicately exclude prudes and dimwits, without narrowin’ tha pool a options?

Mebbe I should work on my profile…

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

“Refined bird, fine pedigree – six-pack slabs. Non-smoker, non-drinker, but I could pick up bad habits when I sleepwalk – just so’s ya know…”

OK, that’s better – but I think I need a hook – or at least more of one than I got on my beak…

“Heir of the Bayer Aspirin family fortune – I coulda been a real pill, but I’m humble even in the lap of lug-shurry. I prefer not ta show off, so if ya feel like just watchin’ TV on our date, I am hip ta that jive…”

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

UGH – wut else do birds dig these days? A sense a humour? Romantical tendencies?

PFFFFFTTT!!!

Whoops! Probably a lacka gaseous emissions, I’ll bet!! Lay offa tha beans, Chuck…

OK, I need ta submit this – “funny, romantic, gassless bird seeks similar hen of the female variety, fer walks and talks. Must own reliable vehicle…”

Here goes nuthin’…

Cluck fer now!!