Cooked Ham – (There May Be A Moral Here Somewhere)…The End.

When last we visited this hearth-warming story of a wolf and three little piggies, two of the hammy snorters had been consumed by failures in the housing market. One became several dozen footballs, as well as a delicious complement to a side of mustard. The other was sprinkled over a Caesar salad, with chops set aside in the freezer for another day. The old wolf who had stumbled across them (it may indeed be time for Wolfie to revisit the optometrist) was slowly working his way through the trio.

The last remaining little piggy opted to take extreme measures to protect himself. He built a house of brick, discussed insurance products with a friendly green Gecko, discreetly purchased an unregistered handgun from a rough-and-tumble weasel with one eye…and whenever he did have to leave the safety of his fortified compound, drove a Toyota.

Meanwhile, the old wolf had come across a home not too far from the little piggy’s. Jimmying the lock, he entered the residence, and discovered three bowls of half-eaten porridge. Trying a spoonful of the first bowl, he quickly realized why the porridge was abandoned. It tasted like crap.

Scoping out the rest of the house, he went through dresser drawers in each of three bedrooms. The jewelry in one was a bit too big, but he was pretty sure his fence would be able to move it.

The i-Pod in another bedroom was a bit too small (why would anyone buy a measly 8 Gigs of storage??), but his son would probably appreciate it anyway.

In the final bedroom, he spotted a pair of Brazilian pumps that fit juuust right (OK, Wolfie may have some issues, I will admit…) – pleasing him tremendously.

With his swag in hand (backpack, more specifically), off he went, passing along the way a home of brick – the stronghold constructed by the final pig.

Kids, if your parents hide a key under the doormat at the front door, you may want to get back to Clifford, The Big Red Dog, or see what magical adventure Dora The Explorer is about to embark upon today. Truly, a security system is only as good as its weakest link, and if there is a moral in this tale anywhere, it may be that one should exercise some originality when it comes to hiding a spare key outside their home.

For the wolf though – it was a very good week.

The End.

(Chow for now)