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Monday, December 29, 2014

As The Christmas Tree Crumbles...

It's all over but the cryin'!!

Christmas is officially in the rear view mirror, where it has apparently had to swerve to avoid hitting a reindeer. Boxing Day has come and gone, and the gloves are back up on the bedroom closet shelf.

The wait now is for New Year's Eve, where more festivities and food and beverages await, as do my stretchy jeans. How will I approach this new year, and the resolutions we historically make to break?

I'll lower my standards, that's what I'll do!

Why set unrealistic goals that are just going to cause me grief as soon as it becomes apparent I can't fulfill them? Why anguish over days flying by, as my goals remain unmet?? Well into the middle of January???

Here are my new, improved lower standard resolutions:

1) I will lose weight. A haircut will suffice - that removes at least a few ounces of unsightly poundage.

2) I will quit procrastinating. But I won't start that one until September...

3) I will listen to more music. That includes humming to myself as I absent-mindedly look for my glasses...

4) I will make more money. Many have to upgrade my colour printer for that one...

5) I will be a better person. No, that's wrong, typo... I will be a butter person - margarine is SOOO unhealthy...

6) I will only bet on horses with decent odds, not the long shots I have gambled on in the past.

7) I will eat more fruit and vegetable crackers..

That's enough for now. Even with lower standards, I don't want to set myself up to fail....

Later!

2 comments:

Mrs That Dan Guy said...

Oh boy. Well, I think 1-6 will happen, no problem, but # 7 I will not place a bet on. This will definitely be the one that sets you up to fail.

ThatDanGuy said...

Yeah, unless I deep-fry them and dip them in our liquid chocolate fountain!