thatdanguy's podcast

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Tuesday, December 30, 2014

OK, now what???

We got a hippopotamus for Christmas - goddam song!!

Now what?

First off, even our king-sized bed is too small - we should have maybe started off with a BABY hippopotamus!!

And his appetite! OMG!! Thank God he's a vegetarian at least - it's like a great white shark with a tapeworm!!! Hey, why don't you try chewing and savouring a bit, you vacuum-snarfing food disposal unit!

Hey little girl singing that song - have you ever SMELLED a hippopotamus?? EGADS!! GROSS!!

It's worse than staying in a tent with three slobs that had baked beans before bed! I think our walls are changing colours!

Which does bring up the awkward item - this thing passes more gas than an Alberta pipeline! Holy Emissions, Batman! With no warning, aside from the sound of a mighty tree limb breaking under the weight of...well, a hippopotamus sitting on it, we cannot light a match or otherwise strike any sort of sparks, or we'll be blown to kingdom come!!!

Of course, all that aside, Mrs. That Dan Guy STILL thinks he's cute - bah hippin' HUMBUG!!

Hippo New Year indeed....



Mrs That Dan Guy said...

Yay! Ask and you shall receive. Hippos are SO cute. Hippo New Year indeed!

ThatDanGuy said...

That damn hippo has been eating my pretzels!

He is going outside, that's it!!!

Mrs That Dan Guy said...

Move your car out of the garage and I will put the hippo in the garage along WITH your pretzels! Thank you!

ThatDanGuy said...

Wonder what they're like barbecued.....

Mrs That Dan Guy said...

Pretzels barbecued? Delicious!

ThatDanGuy said...

Sure, throw them in with some marinated hippo meat!!