Need ASAP

I need someone to come up with an improved Kleenex box. Like that Dyson dude that reinvented the humble vacuum, I submit that we need a similar makeover for the Kleenex box.

First, off, the current design shaves off part of each Kleenex as you remove it, resulting in "snow" everywhere around the box. Kleenex debris, dust for no good reason... I wonder if I could collect that crap and sell it to a Hollywood studio??

Second, the damn box is too light, so when you go to pull a Kleenex out, the box flies all over the place, often knocking over anything around it. Even just falling off a counter is a nuisance, having to pick it up all the time.

Finally, as it is not see-through, you are always grabbing the LAST goddam Kleenex when you grab one. Don't get me started on how few there are in any given box...

In conclusion, we need a heavy, see-through box that has more than three scraggly tissues inside.

Now, will someone go invent that??

Chow for now...


- Posted using BlogPress - too lazy to start my laptop...

Sicko

Sorry, mean to say "sickie". Mrs. That Dan Guy is home sick for a second day, fighting neck and cold issues. She's nursing neck and head aches. Hopefully she bounces back soon.

So far, I have proven immune to her bug, but that could have something to do with my Iron Man constitution, and a mind-over-matter determination.

Plus keeping a 15 yard distance - that has probably helped quite a bit...

Hey Honey, throw me another strawberry, willya???

Yessir, prevention...

Chow for now!!


- Posted using BlogPress - too lazy to start my laptop...

1st Move - New Cell...

After our recent "digital vacation", the first casualty has fallen in the updating of our digital world. My old original iPhone 3GS is history after yesterday.

Well, the contract was up, and that phone was starting to get a little funky - so we started to do some homework about replacing it. It seemed a certainty that we would switch carriers along with some sort of upgrade.

Turns out we stayed with our current Telco after all (happily, not our cable provider - they are soon to be sent on their way...), and I picked up an iPhone 4S - an improvement for sure, but not the latest and greatest. The iPhone 5 requires all new connectors, so I was happy to stay with the ones I had already invested in, along with my ibgStar, the glucometer made specifically for iPhones (3 & 4).

Took a while to get everything transfered between the old and the new, complicated by Apple dropping a new OS just for the occasion. However, by about 10 PM I was back online, and so far, aside from a few passwords I will have to go look up - SUCCESS!!

I feel like Copernicus....

That is all - carry on!

Chow for now...

And So It Begins...

Hello, Monday....

Ugh - how did the weekend manage to give me the slip again?? Aren't there supposed to be two FULL days in between Friday and Monday??

Alas, I must return to my week, far from the tranquility of reclining in my hammock, chilled beverage in hand, cigar trailing smoke off into the sky.

Yeah, I live in Canada - that doesn't even happen in summer...

Back to work it is!

Let's do this, Work Week!

Chow for now...


- Posted using BlogPress - too lazy to start my laptop...

Sleeping With A Hanger....

Yes, you read that right - last night, I was sleeping with a hanger...

We spent the night "holidaying at home" last night, staying at a local hotel to attend Mrs. That Dan Guy's Winter Soiree (would that be a Christpast party??).

I won't name the establishment, but we spent most of the night trying to survive a thermostat set to steam clams, even after we had shut it off completely. This morning, with a window open and the heat shut off, it was still 74 degrees Celsius in the room. My toupee was wetter than a tea bag in a pot.

Making things even more fun was waking up every few minutes as my foot grazed what I thought was a spring popping through the sheets from an exploded bed coil. Or a discount bed of nail. 

I discovered this morning when I pulled back the covers that it was in fact a hanger, under the sheets.   

Not with any clothes attached, just an empty hanger, under the sheets. We made a note to ensure WE left a tip for housekeeping - rather than have the next poor bastards find a severed horse head under the covers. Yikes.

Back home now, running a little late, but looking forward to crawling into our own bed (sans surprises) tonight...

Chow for now!

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken...)

Hey hoomans!

Ah wuz juss...uhh...juss checkin' out mebbe orderin' a friend ta come over fer company - nothin' nasty!!  "Chicken On Tha Way" - how handy is that??

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Ah foun sum klassified ads fer chickens!!

Go figure!

Although, it only has cryp tick ways to fine a friend - either by wings, legs of breasts??

That's kinda odd, but as a single bird, it is nice ta see that ma preferences is given pry orrity...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Personally, ah go fer chicks with both legs!!

HAR HAR HAR!!!

Kinky tho - yew kin also order stuff like "coleslaw", an "gravy" - muss be....

Muss be....

HEY!!!!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

CALL THA COPS!

MURDERERS!!!!

CANNIBULLS!!!

OMG!!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Ah think ah'm gonna herl......

Cluck fer now.....

Crocodiles At Large

Just read a news scroll that 5000 crocodiles "remain at large" after escaping from a reptile farm.

"Remain at large"?? How exactly do you accumulate 5000 crocodiles at a farm without being designated a purse factory? And how lax is your security that you couldn't turn the departure around after two or three hundred got away??

First off, never hire security guards that get so wrapped up in an episode of "Modern Family" that they can't take their eyes off the screen for even just a second to view security footage.

Second, maybe build lower fences when you are holding crocodiles - they will not be jumping barricades to get out...

Third, avoid wearing your meat dress if you are going to a bar the next few nights - those long-faced gentlemen wearing trenchcoats and sunglasses may be looking for more than just a piece of ....., well you know...pardon my French...ass....

Chow for now!!

- Posted using BlogPress - too lazy to start my laptop...

Getting Closer...

Well, I don't know if this recent partial week of digital holiday helped my decision requirements all that much, aside from discovering public wi-fi for connecting without my regular methods.

I have to make a decision in a few days about a new cell provider, or see if I'll just stay with my current one. I think Mrs. That Dan Guy will finally get rid of her personal cell, so there may be some consolidation there.

Public wi-fi is OK, but not practical in the long run for consistent connection. I did manage to stay online a fair degree the last few days, albeit irregular hours.

Some Imodium has settled that down nicely...

One way or another, change I think is closer than ever!!

Chow for now!


- Posted using BlogPress - too lazy to start my laptop...

Ready. Set. Gogh!

Who says this spot ain't artsy enough??

Well, pretty much anyone that stumbles across it online....

I can't even pass it off as fartsy!

Well, something to aspire to. Another day...

Chow for now!


- Posted using BlogPress - too lazy to start my laptop...

Exotic Birds

There are some amazing varieties of exotic birds in the world, and that's what I'm toucan about today...

Actually, I think that's the only joke I had. Didn't even have a parrot them, or bother to Google before starting this post :-0

Well, not the first time I've gone off the rails here - better just flamingo off into the hinterlands, try again tomorrow...

Chow for now!

- Posted using BlogPress - too lazy to start my laptop...

Running Late...

My humble apologies, failed to get to this in my typical timely way.

I know you're probably wringing your hands in anguish, hanging on the line wherever you may be hanging.

Or, in the real world, you may just be thinking "oh crap, he didn't finally stop doing these posts..."

Funny trying to get on public wi-fi for this - but should be back online soon, so you can rest assured this drivel will be back online in as timely a manner as I am able to provide.

No thanks are needed...

Chow for now!
- Posted using BlogPress - too lazy to start my laptop...

Chicken Scratch - Classic Edition

It's a throwback Sunday, here at Chicken Scratch.

Check out this vintage post

Archival Episode

Enjoy!

Cluck...err, chow for now!

Calgary Folk Club 01 18 13

 Calgary Folk Club
January 18, 2013

Evans & Doherty
with Lizzy Hoyt Trio

It feels like a million years ago that we could have enjoyed a night of music like this on national television - in prime time no less!

While there may still be varied music shows on TV, it's unlikely you'll ever surf the channels and come up with an evening of first-rate Celtic music like the Calgary Folk Club enjoyed last night. 

Opening act Lizzy Hoyt Trio referenced growing up to artists like The Rankins, but her sound goes back further - more in line with the corner pub TV music shows I grew up.  

Alternating fiddle and guitar, accompanied by upright bass, guitar and mandolin, Ms. Hoyt touched on a wide array of emotions in her time on stage - traditional fiddle medleys, jaunty reels, and quiet, heartfelt stories on "Home" (with references to her home in Alberta), and "Vimy Ridge" - the latter she was able to perform at the actual site to mark the memorial's 95th anniversary. She's already an award-winning writer, and with songs like that one and "Picture On My Heart", I imagine she'll capture more along her journey.

Lizzy Hoyt Trio

Headliners Evans & Doherty I understood to be from the East Coast. They may be based there, but they hail from another coast altogether - in Ireland. You can't get any more authentic than that if you're dispensing Irish drinking songs, bar-room sing-a-longs, and stories of the old country.

The genial jokesters were as quick onstage to react to the crowd as a standup fencing with a heckler. But this audience loved every minute of it. The audience also clearly loved the duo, as this was their 8th visit to the club!

Evans & Doherty are a demonstration of musicianship and engagement, how to own an audience with the simplest of setting, connecting without all the distractions deemed necessary in pop music. "Jug Of Punch", "Fiddler's Green", and the cheeky "Sister Josephine (What A Funny Nun You Are)" made me wish I could have stayed for the rest of the evening. But snapping up a copy of their double-disc 25th anniversary collection might fill in the blanks for me over the rest of the weekend :-)

Evans & Doherty

It was a full house and then some last night, but if you haven't yet discovered the Calgary Folk Club, I'd advise you to give it a visit. 

You'll be among friends....

  

Frantic Friday

Such is the reality that when you are busy, things come at you with even greater urgency.

Trying to juggle a handful of pressing items today, but man - even more things seem to be popping up out of thin air.

Oh well, you do what you can do, and hope it all works out - failing that, you crawl back under the cover, shut off the phone, and hide until it's safe to come back out again.

Hmm..why was I even bothering with Option #1????

Chow for now....

Google Kills A Donkey??

I am not a morning person. I do not bound out of bed singing, no matter what sort of medications I may be taking. It  takes me a good while to get cohesive thoughts gathered. And yet, I Tweet and blog every day as early as I'm able to - go figure...

This morning, I could have sworn that there was a headline scrolling on my morning news about Google hitting a donkey, and running. This could of course be a test by the producers to gauge how much attention viewers are devoting to the  news update scrolls. It could also mean that somewhere, Google leapt off a computer screen, jacked a car, and sped into a donkey.

There has been no report of the condition of the donkey, nor whether or not Google has returned to computer screens...

Wait!!!

Hold on just a minute!!

The donkey is dead.

I repeat, the donkey has died. In Botswana.

Well, there goes my theory that yesterday's Google Doodle - an ice-cleaning machine knows as a Zamboni, was the culprit. Not much ice in Botswana, I imagine.

Can you imagine being the CSI team being sent to investigate THIS crime?

What the hell is going on out there people????

Chow. For Now...

Whoopsie!

Sheesh - I picked a bad week to direct someone to this site, given the lack of cohesive posts this week!

Well, I clearly need to pull up my socks around here, and put some thought into what I tap out every morning.

Of course, I see on Google Analytics that Charlie is once again topping my page views by a huge margin, so people - this is partially on your shoulders as well!

However, I will have the first Calgary Folk Club review of 2013 coming up this weekend, as well as some exciting author interviews over the next few weeks, plus another new show at Stage West, where I expect I'll have an interview with the former host of Family Feud, and co-star of Tim Allen's Home Improvement, Richard Karn - along with other cast members.

Plus other fun stuff - so PLEASE, keep stopping by, I promise there will be value for the effort spent.

In the meantime, you should really check out the blog site of Hollywood comic (and author) Suzy Soro:

Where Hot Comes To Die's Blog

Her new book Celebrity sTalker is out right now, and based on Twitter posts she's been doing leading up to the release, if you enjoy close encounters with funny people, you should find a lot to laugh about in between the covers of THIS release.

I hope to interview her early next month, and tie that in with a review of the book - although the review can certainly happen sooner than that...

Better run, this is getting dangerously close to a decent post. Stop when you're ahead, man!

Chow for now!

I've Got...Nothing!

Clearly we have to start getting out and about here in the Such Is Life household - I have absolutely nothing to ramble on about this morning!

Uhh - we watched TV last night? Mostly stuff we don't watch anymore, because our other shows weren't on.

How I Met Your Mother - how is that show still on the air? A viewer could get dizzy with all the storylines circling back around on that sitcom, without ever really going anywhere... We gave up the ghost last year, and watching last night's new episode just confirmed our decision.

Mister Dee, on CBC - the first couple of episodes were as funny as star Gerry Dee, but then it seemed to go off into the hinterlands, with nary a laugh (or logic) ever to be seen again. What is this, the second season? Watching last night's new episode is half an hour I'll never get back - wait - we didn't last the whole show, we flipped over to watch The Weather Channel - I think we're good!

Well, enough critiquing. Better get ready and head off to start another day.

Chow for now!

Jodie Foster

Sorry, I meant to say Joe D. Foster....

I sincerely hope you didn't surf over to this site because of that erroneous headline.

My humble apologies if that is the case.

Joe, Happy Birthday - hope your day is great!

Although, as long as you are here, my misguided reader friends, I will say that I quite enjoyed Ms. Foster's speech for her Lifetime Achievement award at last night's Golden Globes, as well as her recognition of (at just 50 years old) "passing the torch" - or as I like to say, the "rise of the diapers"....

I will have to Google that speech, and give it another viewing....

Chow for now!

Eye Key Ahh...

Eye Key Ahh.

Ole Dell Pass-O

Wallm Art

Den Ease

Don King Dough Nuts

Day Vid Let Ermine

"N" bee, eh?

Fun With Phone Etiks??

Chow for now!

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger, Charlie Chicken...)

Man, weekends really get me bent outta shape...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Ah feels like ah might be tha crooked man, who walked a crooked mile - an I ain't even barely awake yet...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Ah should go look inna mirrer - I feel like ma curves is much more da-finded then youshual. Like a long and winedy road...

Probably juss need ta stretch, do sum calisthentics??

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Whoa - ackshually, ah feel a bit like a python, coiled fer inactivity. Sleepy...

Mebbe ah juss need ta put ma head down fer a few more minutes....

Yeah, that's tha ticket...

Cluck fer now.

Selling A Home Via Twitter...

Every industry needs to stay on top of trends, and the real estate business is not exempt. Over the years agents have put their listings online, developed web presences, and put more of their marketing efforts into the digital world.

And now, Twitter:

Tweeting A Sale

Enjoy!

Chow for now....

Breaking News.

I cannot blog this morning, as I have to clean our humidifier.

Well, just posting this means that I HAVE blogged after all, albiet "coasting" as I have suggested just the other day.

That is all.

Carry on...

Chow for now!

My Friend Charlie

I noticed in the stats this morning that I had a big spike in my site views here yesterday.

Knowing that I've admittedly (and obviously) been "coasting" the last few days, I was puzzled - until I clicked on the Posts tab, and discovered that my weekend guest blogger was the reason for my page views jumping well over quadruple. For a rubber chicken, he can be awfully agile when it comes to leaping over all my other topics.

Second place was the link to a new, combined podcast version of my Stage West Calgary cast interview, for current production Two Hit Wonders. Again, no surprise there - always lots of traffic for those features.

However, something for me to consider - a troublesome, misbehaving bird gets more interest than real people.

Does he need his own blog? His own Twitter?

His own book???

Makes me think.....

Chow for now! - And no matter why you stop by here, much thanks! Keep coming back!

Butter Chicken, For Real!

Last night - mission accomplished! We had the Costco butter chicken.

Not too shabbly - pretty darn tasty.

I imagine we'll have it again. Well, I know we will, we have leftovers.

Tasty leftovers...

That is all!

Chow for now...

Nocturnal?

I suggested to Mrs. That Dan Guy somewhere around 3:00 AM this morning that I am nocturnal, as an explanation for being up most of the night.

She laughed her fool head off - and so now I must try to find evidence to support that theory.

I do tend to suffer from a bit of insomnia, but that is due mostly to my brain, which operates best in the wee hours of the morning.

Hey, maybe my brain is nocturnal!?!?

You know, I had better surf the Googler for this sort of thing - I may be part of history's great nocturnal brain brotherhood!!

Yes, I must go find out more - this is .... is .... suddenly ...  very  .... sleepy...

Zzzzzzzzzzzz.........................

(chow for now...)

Butter Chicken..

As opposed to battered, deep-fried, seven secret spices chicken, tonight Mrs. That Dan Guy has convinced me to try butter chicken for dinner.  It is lurking in the fridge as we speak...

I think I may have tried a homemade version of this dish at a buffet last year, but still - actually going all exotic for real?

Hope I survive...this is new territory for a guy that find whole wheat bread radical....

Chow for now!

Butter chow later..............

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger, actor (uncredited, extra, cameo...) Charlie Chicken...)

Howdy, Cluckers!

Yeah, Ole Charlie in yet another starrin' role - in tha latest Muppets movie. I didn't get a scene with tha guy frum How I Met You, Mutha, but Fozzie wuz still pretty cool.

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Altho, in this pic, we weren't actin' - FYU, don't mess with Fozzie's honey....

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Yeah, I like ta get these ohkayshunal roles in flickers, justa help keep me in tha lifestyle I've grown akkustumed to. 

Pretty much squattin' in a hooman household, foragin' fer booze when they're out...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Now, pleeze excuse me, I gotta go preepair fer ma next oddition. I'm hopin' ta get in either a new Will Ferrell movie, or one a them cookin' films - like Tha Bourne Leg-a-Cee...

Drumstick!!

Cluck fer now....

We've Got Shakes, We've Got Fries...

Is it wrong to be thinking about Big Macs and milkshakes at breakfast time?? That can't be a good thing.

I had better hug a banana, or have another Christmas Mandarin orange - which in retrospect might be why I'm dreaming of burgers and fries at 7 in the morning - too many oranges with stocking fur on them!!

Oh - forgot hot apple pies!!

Ooh my!!!

Mickey D!!!

MICKEY D!!!!

Apologies....

Chow for now.

"Go Ahead - Jump"

Van Halen's classic advice to aspiring divers - still gets me every time I hear it....

Chow for now!

It Begins Anew

Well, every year we worry if we have failed to take advantage of whatever the Number 11 is trying to get through to us relentlessly. This year starts off with a bang, as we saw 11's everywhere on Jan 1 - even from our new dry cleaner (above). Or maybe that's the local KFC, hard to recall. Incidentlly, that picture shows as Pic 22 (11+11)........

At any rate, even just coming downstairs this morning, the first thing I see as I pass by the television is a player wearing a jersey with...the number 11.

Clearly, the Universe is trying to get some sort of message out to us, and we just need to figure out what it is. As long we we don't end up owing the Universe any money.

Even $11.11.............................

Chow for now!

Two Hit Wonders Cast Interview - Podcast Version

Well, I finally had a chance during the holiday break to spend some time re-editing my Stage West Calgary cast interview for the Two Hit Wonders production.

Cut down to under half an hour, this combination of the two I have posted now on my Youtube channel seems a bit breezier, plus you can load this one to your devices, from i-Tunes (thatdanguy's podcast).

Hope you enjoy!

Now, on to the next one!

Two Hit Wonders Cast 2012

Chow for now....

Oh yeah - Happy New Year!

I think 2013 is gonna be amazing!!