Once upon a time there was a rabbit. A rabbit conceived in Ontario (Canada), prompting his parents to call him “Easter”. What, you’ve never named a child for the city or location where you made the whoopee that conceived the little beggar??

Easter grew up with a reputation for being speedy (now, even though this is a rabbit we’re talking about, we may not necessarily be talking about what you’re thinking about - get your mind out of the gutter…). So speedy in fact, that he often challenged all his little forest buddies to foot races. He made a tidy sum from betting on his own wins. Lean and spry, Easter often won the foot races, which on occasion had the added element of survival, when it was a coyote hot on his bunny tail. Or bunny trail…

Frustrated by the winning streak of their pal Easter, and frankly more than a bit concerned that steroids may have been involved in the continued pattern of race wins, his forest pals conspired to set up ole Easter for a surprise. They advertised on Craig’s List for a ringer – an animal athlete that would completely take Easter by surprise. Their plan came to fruition when the ad was answered by Turbo Turtle – a speedy tortoise with an unassuming manner, and one lazy eye. But fast feet.

Feeling completely confident, Easter agreed to a race, and bet heavy. To make things interesting, a side bet was placed, seeing as how he would be racing a slow old turtle. Easter would have to carry a basket of decorated eggs, and distribute them to spectators along the way. Not only did Easter agree to this unique aspect, he was so overconfident, he boasted that he could even beat the turtle while hopping along IN the basket!!

Well, Turbo started to crawl along when the starter pistol fired (killing an owl directly in the line of fire – prompting race officials to adopt blank shells for the next race), and Easter bolted along the path – tossing out eggs to young bystanders.

After about halfway along the course, with no turtle in sight, Easter dumped the eggs, and as promised, hopped right into the basket. That was when a blazing blur of turbo-charged turtle blasted by, scorching Easter’s fur with sheer velocity. Turbo won, and Easter lost his life savings.

Which just goes to show, if you want to be a winner in life, don’t keep all your legs in one basket.

Chow for now…