I have determined that I will learn how to fly.

How hard can it be, really? Birds do it, heck – even squirrels do it, and they don’t have wings! So why can’t a human as the most superior of all the species do it??

Of course, I am considerably heavier than the average bird (or squirrel for that matter), but airplanes are even larger than me, and they routinely fly all around the world. I just need to develop some sort of propulsion system.

I know what you’re thinking – I’m a guy, and men often possess a powerful propulsion system provided entirely by Mother Nature. Well, while that is indeed a force to be reckoned with here in the Such Is Life household, to date that explosive force has been unable to induce full flight, excepting Mr’s That Dan Guy’s consistently hasty departure from the room.

So, the plan is to either BOOST that natural propulsion system (how much chili can one man consume?), and extend the frequency, or come up with something scientific and external. The fact that I have never been able to master a simple toaster after 50 years of usage indicates that the latter option may never see the light of day, unless someone else does the actual development…

So, for now, stand back folks! I’ve got a basket full of breakfast burritos, and a dream to fly! The sky’s the limit!!!!!

Chow for now!!