Alright, let’s be honest here – the hare-brained idea to quit drinking coffee is just not happening. Sure, we’re down to one cup of instant coffee in the morning, but our madcap dreams of a caffeine-free lifestyle are about as dead as Brad Pitt’s Academy Award hopes this year. The dream has left the building…

In reflection of this brief but inspiring segment of our lives, I thought I would post a few memories of our short-lived wrestling endeavours with Java Joe:

- Mutually agreed to try to quit drinking coffee, entirely. On the very morning we failed to drip a fresh pot in the morning, I had to go outside and shovel freshly-fallen snow. Mrs. That Dan Guy (allegedly) inserts of handful of coffee grinds in her cheek, as if it were chewing tobacco.

- By the second day of trying to quit, the first side-effects are being felt. Mrs. That Dan Guy is blinking aggressively (in a clearly agitated state), like she’s trying to put out a fire in her eyeballs. I am weeping, on the inside…

- By Day Three we are experimenting with coffee replacements, such as lattes, espressos, and cappuccino salves. Plus we’re drinking instant coffee.

- Within a week, it is clear that we have failed. I know that Mrs. That Dan Guy carries the weight of the world on her shoulders for lacking the willpower to stare down a can of ground coffee beans, but I am at peace with the fight we were able to stage, for as long as we did. Besides, the coffee popsicles we were using as a placebo for the hot product sucked.

- To date, we are still just having one cup of instant coffee in the morning, and the occasional latte, to offset any ill effects, if by “occasional” you mean twice a day.

In summary, we stood our ground, and can proudly hold our heads up.

That helps to avoid spilling the hot coffee when we’re sipping it…

Chow for now!!