There is talk in the Such Is Life household of purchasing a pony. The talk is essentially Mrs. That Dan Guy repeatedly saying “NO”, and someone else here offering the manifold benefits of such a purchase, followed by “PUH-LEEZE…”
Why is a pony so important, all of a sudden? Well, for one thing, I have a very short attention span, and a pony seems to be on my radar right now. I envision vast riches from TV appearances, if I could teach the pony even just a few simple words. Can you imagine turning on your TV, and seeing the cutest little baby horse reliving the glory days of Budweiser’s “wuzz-uuuuup” ad campaign??? Man, that’s gold!!
For another thing, a pony could save me a few minutes of lawn-mowing each week, by chewing away some of that blasted grass that grows like a weed. I mean really, I should have just laid down astro-turf…
The single biggest asset of owning a pony would be the training I could undergo on a pony, for next year’s Calgary Stampede rodeo purse. There’s big bucks up for grabs there, and I could walk away with it, if I just had a pony that would work with me. I’m thinking my stage name would be Buck Dat…
You know, for an avowed animal lover, I can’t believe the resistance I am meeting up with here. MTDG can be downright stubborn when she wants to be.
Hey, my real column is online today. Read all about talking restroom stalls here:
http://www.eventpub.com/stories.php?id=121984
Chow for now!!
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4 comments:
Let's face it, cut through all the jibber-jabber and we have another man just trying to avoid cutting the lawn......
Pony, my pattootie!
Regarding your talking toilet column...When I was a kid, I bought a novelty device which had a little squeeze bulb connected to an air tube which went to a little recorder. I took the opportunity one holiday, at my aunt's house, to set it up behind the toilet, so that when someone sat on the seat, the bulb would activate the recording, which yelled "Hey! I'm WORKING down here!"
Many times that day I watched as my uncles and aunts and cousins came out of the bathroom laughing. This was what we did for entertainment before cell phones.
Trying to avoid cutting the lawn! Now that's about the lamest excuse you've ever come up with!!
It bruises my heart, to think that you would feel that way about my motivations...
Hey, do goats eat more grass than ponies???
How come I've never heard of that device??? That is RIGHT up my alley!
I wonder if you can still get those little marvels??? That would still be just as funny today...
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