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Sunday, December 08, 2013

If This Is Fall, I Don't Want To See Winter...

Holy Frostbitten Polar Bears, Batman!

This is still only fall, yet Calgary managed to be included on a list of the coldest places on Earth this past week. We've had two days of blizzards, and we awoke this morning to more snow and cold.

In short, if this is fall, I don't want to see what winter is going to look like!!

Until this settles back down, I'd rather be:

1) Enjoying a nice relaxing three-hour root canal,
2) Offering some literal finger food to my pet shark,
3) Accompanying Mayor Rob Ford on a clandestine midnight run for "Eggos"...
4) Teaching a tuna to tap dance,
5) Taking a sunrise, sprinkling it with dew. Covering it with choc'late and a miracle or two.
6) Charlie Sheen's abstinence coach,
7) Solving a problem like Maria,



Mrs That Dan Guy said...

I have to admit, I would take a 3-hour root canal over this blasted weather too! I like your last sentence, let's be ANYWHERE warmer than here. PLEASE!

Dave Astor said...

Dan, this is an example of turning lemons (awful weather) into lemonade (your hilarious post). But a cold lemonade is too chilly a drink in your weather. I suggest lemonade flambé...

ThatDanGuy said...

It is BEASTLY!!!

ThatDanGuy said...

I'm heating the blowtorch as we speak Dave!

Thanks for the prudent (and funny) advice!