“Flawtography By Dan” - Episode #006

Michael Buble

A fellow Canadian superstar! I mean, a superstar that’s a fellow Canadian…
Man, can this guy put on a show! Channelling the spirit of The Rat Pack, Buble is the real deal – or at least that’s what I said back in my review of the show:

http://thatdanguy.blogspot.com/2008/01/wednesday-morning-nobody-asked-me-to.html

This is a shot from our spot up in the rafters. Lots of spiders and half-empty balloons up there…

Please, ask permission if you plan on using it anywhere...

Chow for now!

Oy.


Ugh.

Arghhh……

I suppose it’s been longer than I thought since I’ve had to post from this wee netbook, with a keyboard more suited to Tinkerbell than a husky adult male’s paws. I spend more time removing unwanted letters than composing…

It is amazing how sloooooow Windows operates, compared to a Mac. How did these clowns ever get to be the dominant operating system? I suppose I should know the answer to that – Beta was a great version compared to VHS (kid, you’ll have to surf The Google to even know what any of that means), and it was punted out of the marketplace. There’s just no ability to read the average consumer.

On the plus side, I get to have more of those really tasty Tylenols I like so much – like Smarties, but makes your brain stop hurting!!

Chow for now.

Ugh....

After enjoying a month or more of posting blogs and tweets every morning from a Mac, going backwards to a Windows PC is going to take some getting used to.

Of course, I'll have that time for that and even more just waiting for the computer to boot up - I can take a long walk on a sandy beach, take apart a motorcycle and put it back together again, grow corn for the winter, journal between sightings of Hailey's Comet, use Comet to clean my bathroom, and watch a snail crawl across Canada.

Oh joy........

Chow for now.

I'm not sure what exactly it is that we may have done that has pissed off the universe so much, but allowing me to briefly experience a Mac OS after wanting to for so long, then having the hard drive fail right when I was about to post was about the pettiest thing you've done yet, "Higher Power".

Seriously, are there no other souls you could be tormenting for a while? We've about had our fill here...

Chow for now....

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie Chicken...)

Ain’t that sweet!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

An here I thought Mrs. That Dan Guy wasn’t fonda me - then she goes and does sumthin’ like this. 

A new hot tub!! Classy dame, questionable taste in men aside...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Man, I’m gonna fill this sucker up, and re-jooven-ate ma achin’ pinfeathers - it’s gonna feel pluckin’ AWESOME!!

Just gotta fish out all them potatoes, carrots an gravy on that bottom first tho...musta been a used hot tub!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Yessir, jus when ya thinks yer on someone’s radar, or bulls-eye more spacifikelly, they go an do sumthin’ that shows there true colours.

I, for one, is impressed. 

Makes ya wanna lay an egg a joy...

Alright, ya featherless voyeurs - ole Charlie is gonna get prepped - she even left sum kinda bath salts, and man - does they smells great!

Kinda garlicky tho...oh well, never look a gift hoarse inna mouth!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Cluck fer now!!

To Kill A Mockingbird:

Step 1: Find Mockingbird.

Step 2: Determine if mockingbird is minding his own business, or somehow evokes a compelling need to be vanquished.

Step 3: Purchase really large, heavy safe from Acme. Set on edge of cliff in desert. Send invitation to mockingbird, requesting his attendance at a roadside lemonade stand.

Step 4: In the event of plan outlined in Step 3 failing, determine back-up plans options. *Large wooden mallet, as used to pummel while attempting to ring bell in “Test Your Strength” game at county fairs. Caution - may be cumbersome to wield in tree while mockingbird is asleep in nest.
*Tranquilizers in bird bath.
*Toaster in birdbath.
*Breed miniature shark for birdbath.
*Robotic female mockingbird with poison-tipped beak.
*Bazooka.

Step 5: Force mockingbird into mini-hot air balloon ride, and when it is high enough, shoot balloons until mockingbird plummets to his untimely demise. Uhh, wait a minute...

Step 6: That safe idea in Step 3 really should work - try out that option one more time...

Step 7: Ask mockingbird to help you recover shiny object from bottom of margarita blender...have lid ready - just sayin’...

Chow for now.

Great. I have become Mr. Wilson - that grumpy old neighbour to cartoon icon Dennis The Menace...

Living in a townhouse complex currently, it is a delight to know that parenting skills are...well, let’s just say to each their own. Nothing occupies a child and his friends like playing in someone else’s yard - common space yes, but wouldn’t there be some of that behind the unit where they actually live?

Mother must need peace and quiet while she’s surfing online dating sites, building farms on Facebook, or trying to focus on Judge Joe Brown’s words of wisdoms to back-stabbing rednecks and aspiring actors hired for these riveting programs.

Grumpy?? It should be legal, as Denis Leary is so fond of saying, to help thin the herd - maybe a dog-catcher of sorts for keeping my own space free from disturbances??

Yesterday, with squeals emanating from outside my office window, I peered out, and noticed a herd at play. Where’s Hansel & Gretel’s gingerbread house when you need it?

Oh well, just have to learn to live with it I guess - this is Canada after all. Soon enough there will be more snow in the yard than lingering howlers...

Chow for now!

I think it’s awfully presumptuous of lumberjacks to call falling trees “timber” before the poor things even hit the ground. I mean, really - what else is going to become of a fallen tree?

But still, there’s no need to go rubbing it in.

Chow for now...

CBC Radio Feature on my late sister-in-law today!!

If you want to be inspired, you should try and catch this CBC broadcast - a profile of my late sister-in-law. Considering this is at least the third time she has been featured nationally, you should find this fascinating.

She was an incredible person, and I can’t wait to hear what this profile brings forward!

http://www.cbc.ca/thelateshow/season-three/2011/08/21/episode-9---lynn-thomson---august-23-26/ 

Chow for now!!

Nuts!

Almost forgot to blog today. Mrs. That Dan Guy is home sick, which throws off my routines (and makes me miss “The Price Is Right”, “Young & The Restless”, etc...).

So, just a quick post while she has her head down for a little nap right now.

This would probably also be an appropriate time to confess that this is yet another one of those days where I really have nothing anyway. No links, no rants, no debauched fairy tales...

Say, I do have this funny purple color on my big toe...

Whoa!! It spreads when I press on it!! Cool...

I wonder if that’s a normal sort of thing, or “That Dan Guy, you should maybe see a doctor about that” sort of thing??

Maybe we are both technically home sick today...

Well, off to surf the Google - purple puddle toe - that’s a new one!!

Chow for now...

Name The Mac

I have determined that an Apple computer deserves a proper naming ceremony (unlike a PC, which really just needs to be dropped in the ocean - especially if it operates (ha!) with Vista...).

So, I turn to you, my reader(s) for help. I have come up with a few suggestions of my own, but if you can think of something more appropriate for a MacBook, I am open to suggestions.

Here’s what I have so far:

1) Lord MacIntosh Worthyword III
2) Captain Mactastik & The Brown Dirt Cowboys
3) My Awesome Computer
4) ARPCD (Apple Rules, PC Drools)
5) Wowzer!
6) Major Moriarty McMaccington
7) Bliss
8) Cap’n Apple Duzitbest
9) General Lee Betterthanwindows
10) Howdidittakesolongformetofinallygetamac
11) Artie
12) I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter (wait, that doesn’t even make sense - although I do LOVE butter...)
13) Admiral “Buck” Da PC
14) President Happle D. Apple

Alright, I will be the first to admit there may be room for improvement. I might be too close to this to be even remotely close to objective, or reasonable...

If there’s one name you really like, or you have something better springing to mind, please feel free to leave a comment.

Chow for now!

Chicken Scratch

(posted by a remarkably reckless weekend guest blogger, Charlie Chicken...)

(NOTE: the opinions expressed in these columns do not reflect the views of the publisher, common sense, nor reason. )

Howdy doo, hoomans!!

Man, nuthin’ sez summer like chill-axin’ onna hammock - life is good taday!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Yessir, ole Charlie got hisself a lil piece a para-dice. Actually, after watching a few too many episodes a “Storage Wars”, I checked out some locker sales here in town, an picked up this rig along with sum other valuables. May see those in future posts.

Fer now, I got me a cold beer, a fine cigarette, an tha remote control. Yabba, dabba, and doo....

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

I got ma toes in tha water, asp in tha sand...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Man, I could drift off right about now - just hafta put this smoke somewhere safe. I kin barely keep ma eyeballs open, I’s so doggone comfirtible...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Whoops! Pardon me - them breakfast burritos sure do repeat on me!!

I gotta tell ya, Saturday mornin’ TV ain’t nuthin’ like it used ta be - hardly any decent cartoons on - not a single roadrunner so far - where’s my bird brothers, network execks???

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Well, I think it’s time ta go read ma mornin’ noosepaper, if ya knows wut I means.

Then, back ta the satiny cradle - I got me sum shut-eye ta enjoy!!

Cluck fer now......

I was trying to clear off some files from my Windows (Vista, Satan’s OS choice) PC - both to get a bit more space, and inevitably to switch over ever so slowly to the Mac environment.

Despite loads of music and video files, the single largest folder was “Pictures”. I suppose when I recall passing well over 1000 photos just on our trip to NYC, that shouldn’t have come as a big surprise.

What did, was discovering further affirmation of the number 11 (also 11:11, 1:11) that follows us around consistently. Also, more gold for my Flawtography series, so hold onto your hats folks - there’s more great fun ahead!!

I also noted that I backed up files several times. In different folders. On the same computer. I wonder how well that would have worked in the event of a hard drive crash like my last desktop computer suffered?

Not the sharpest knife, I am the first to admit.

Oh well, moving closer and closer to biding farewell to Windows, although I think that those impressions on sides of the PC are from Mrs. That Dan Guy’s hands clinging to familiarity. Truth be told, I think she’s warming up to the Mac, but is reluctant to admit it.

Mac is right here waiting, ready whenever you are!!

Chow for now...

The Plight Of A Baby BumbleBee


I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee,
Won't my mommy be so proud of me,
(Personally, I think Mother would be much happier with a good mark on a report card, but hey - whatever floats your mother’s boat...)

I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee,
Ooo - Eee, the bee stung me!
(Thankless insect - you offer to give him a nice new home, and the little rapscallion stings you? Harsh...)

I'm squishing up the baby bumblebee,
Won't my mommy be so proud of me,
(Again, is this the best you can do for your mother, and will this REALLY make her proud? Does she need some eye of newt too?? Maybe a call to Child And Family Services is in order...)

I'm squishing up a baby bumblebee,
Ooh! It's yucky!
(HEY!! Shhh! Keep it down - do you want PETA to find out about this??)

I'm wiping off the baby bumblebee,
Won't my mommy be so proud of me,
(Who the doodles is your mother?? Did she used to own a 101 Dalmatians? Have you ever seen a wire clothes hanger used for purposes other than intended?? )

I'm wiping off the baby bumblebee,
Now my mommy won't be mad at me!
(“Mad”, “Daffy”, “Psychotic” - they are so interchangeable in this case...)

Ah - those great old kids' songs of our youth - just magical...

Chow for now!!

“Flawtography By Dan” - Episode #005

Kenny Rogers

Wow! Looking at that photo, I’m transported right back to the magical evening that Mrs. That Dan Guy and I had the pleasure of catching country music legend Kenny Rogers live in concert.

Much has been said (after six decades in show business) about that questionable facelift he had a few years back, but you can barely notice it in this photo. Must be those HD TV programs where it’s more noticeable…

Pretty sure this was taken while he was performing “The Gambler”.

Please, ask permission if you plan on using it anywhere...

Chow for now!

Well....

Once again, much like my Miracle Tweet a few weeks ago where (what appeared to be) a holy cross appeared after my griping, here's another example to quit worrying, I suppose.

After my earlier post, I went to the garage, and tossed a newspaper section towards the garbage can. Much like my failed NBA career, I missed my target by a country mile. The newspaper however, inexplicably stood up, as you can see from the attached photo.

So, I guess the moral is, even if it seems like life isn't going your way - suck it up buttercup, it will all work out as it's supposed to. Keep on standing. Country Strong.

Sorry, we just watched the Gwyneth Paltrow movie "Country Strong" - not as bad as the critics said it was....

Much like other things....

Chow for now - I got some crow to chew on....

Sorry folks...

Nothing particularly amusing to me today - try back tomorrow.

PS - Higher Power,

Bugger off. Go on holidays. Take a friggin' break. Go subscribe to HBO or something. We have had enough of your "involvement"...

Chow for now.

When Words Collide - 2011

Had a blast yesterday at the first annual “When Words Collide” writers’ conference here in Calgary. A great bunch of co-presenters, and well attended in general, the two panels I participated in seemed to just fly by. I suspect this will become a major draw for writers (and fans of great writing) from far and wide:

http://www.whenwordscollide.org/ 

(Hope the link stays live, sometimes Safari forgets how to do that when you copy & paste...)

My two sessions were on writing in general, then pitches and queries. The other members of my panels were from diverse backgrounds, so I think that really gave attendees a wide range of informed opinions, no matter what genre or market they are writing (or hoping to write) for.

I need to sign up for myself next year though - hearing all about the festivities in the hospitality suite made me feel like I really missed out on a major part of the festival :-)

Until next year!!

Chow for now...

Nicholas Fera
"Far From Wise" - Album Pre-Release Interview!
Stage West Calgary
***************************************************************************
Hey, it has appeared!!

Took a while, but my first-ever video interview for my proposed online network CIAO (Clearly I Ain't Oprah) is now on my YouTube Channel, soon to appear (hopefully) on my podcast site.

For now, check it out without having to take about six hours for it to download, directly from YouTube.

He's already had over 300 hits from his own site - let's go for the gold here!!

Thank you Nicholas Fera, Stage West Calgary, and Apple - I do love Apple....

http://www.youtube.com/user/thatdanguy1

Chow (CIAO) for now!!

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger & Love Coach Charlie Chicken...)

Well, this is just ducky.

Har Har Har!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Talkin’ with this here fellow poultry, who admittedly is a little on tha dim side. Ya could almos say he’s a few quackers short of a package!

Omigod, I am killin’ myself taday.... 

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Bug-Eyes is in town briefly, ta try n find a mate. He had a hankerin’ fer a prairie bird, so here he is, tryin’ ta find tha best place ta find wimin. Naturally, he came ta me fer EXPERT advice.

Wut did you expect, Charlie Sheen??

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

So, we’re discussin’ the best coops in town, altho I expect he’ll be visitin’ ponds and slow-movin’ tribute-tarries (about as slow as he iz, might be helpful...)

He clearly ain’t got ma animul charisma, but with a few quick lessons in tha art uv “amoor”, I hope ta git him a step above buyin’ a inflatable duck...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

First off, he might consider a spray-on tan, so’s he don’t look so much like a Smurf with a cleft pallet. Donald Duck he ain’t...

Second, ya gotta NARROW yer eyes, fer that sul-tree look chicks dig - don’t go aroun lookin’ like ya just got a snuggie from a grizzly bear!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Well, I shur got ma work cut out fer me, so I better let ya go, and git bizzy with this feller.

Wish me luck!

Cluck fer now....

A person can’t really stay on top of all these current and emerging social media sites. I know - I’ve tried this year!

I Tweet, I Blog, I Link In, I Branch Out, I BookFace, I BreadCrumb....

And then there are still others. I don’t even have a farm on Facebook, but my time is still drained away by sites within sites.

Ironically,  any of the sites overlap my writing endeavours, and the people in some of these sites complain about not finding enough time to write.

HOW ABOUT YOU QUIT PLAYING WITH ANGRY BIRDS??

Ahem - sorry, just thinking out loud, and my fingers fell onto the keyboard.

I shouldn’t gripe. I spend as much (or more) time online as anyone else, and wonder often if I am just virtually peeing into the wind, or if there is a long-term return on this digital investment.

Hey - digital as in online, AND using my fingers!!

Alright, clearly I need more coffee...

Until we (virtually) meet again!!

Chow for now.

Dave Barry

National Society Of Newspaper Columnists

Philadelphia, 2007

“Flawtography By Dan” - Episode #004

Dave Barry

I’ve had the pleasure of hearing legendary humour columnist Dave Barry speak on the craft of writing twice - once for the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop, and the second time (where this photo was taken), for the annual National Society Of Newspaper Columnists conference in Philadelphia. As you can clearly see, he still looks terrific.

Those encounters have led to several newspaper and magazine pieces of my own, most recently for the current July/August issue of WestWord Magazine, for the Writers’ Guild Of Alberta.

Thanks Dave!!

Please, ask permission if you plan on using this photo anywhere...

Chow for now!

Industrious, But Departed...

We have had, for a few weeks now, a very industrious spider living in our passenger side car mirror. Every morning when we get into our motorized transporter, the little webslinger has slung a web between the mirror and the window, before retreating back to the safety of the mirror. Once we glimpsed him - he was just a little feller...

Let’s be honest here - the webs were freakin’ gross, and ran the risk of being sucked into the cabin of our vehicle, even if the window was just ever so slightly rolled down. Let me assure you - THAT would have been a traumatic experience, both for Mrs. That Dan Guy, and subsequently myself.

A couple of days ago, I went to a wand wash, and concentrated specifically (PETA, please quit reading now, and go buy a lollipop) on that passenger-side mirror.

I blasted it with pre-soak. I lambasted it profusely with soapy water. Finally, a high-pressure rinse for an expended period, where the stream of water reached the back of the vehicle, with considerable force. I had to have evicted the little web beggar....

Apparently not. After leaving my volunteer role the other night at a local casino, a web was being weaved right before my very eyes! At 3 AM in the morning!! Which AM would signify all by itself, I know....

This time though, the industrious worker made a mortal error. He was still hard at work, presuming us to be deep in slumber. I grabbed a napkin (Any PETA members still reading? PLEASE - go for a walk in the woods...), and snatched him from his efforts. I walked him over to the far end of the parking lot, and released him back into the wild (yeah, yeah - that’s the ticket!), where he is probably already scoping out new mirrors to inhabit.

Yesterday - no web. What will this morning bring?? Stay tuned, reader(s)...

Chow for now!

Money, It’s So...Papery....

Last night, I volunteered for the Canadian Diabetes Association at a local casino. Pretty much a full-time person’s shift, from 6 PM to 3AM. One does get to be a little sketchy after about 1 AM when one typically goes to bed at a reasonable hour, but in my role for the evening as General Manager, I did retain a few scattered thoughts:

* In the counting room, with banks of money sorting machines humming busily away, and strong boxes of paper money being emptied onto a table for distribution to the workers, I imagines this must have been what a jovial evening around Al Capone’s basement must have been like...

* Cameras in every square millimetre of the facility, which would make a Hilton or Kardashian quite at home, inspired me to make finger puppets, just to give the security something to see out of the ordinary...

* Zombies are more animated than slot players at 2:30 AM...

* A gentleman muttering about droping a $500 chip on his way to the cashier’s cage shrugged and said “oh well”. A FIVE HUNDRED dollar chip!! I would have had bloodhounds, Search & Rescue, and a geiger counter employed trying to find one of those...

So much more, but I have to run...

Chow for now!!

“Flawtography By Dan” - Episode #003

(Live With) Regis & Kelly

Mrs. That Dan Guy and I were walking along on our way to Central Park in NYC a few years back, when we happened upon a film crew. They were outside a TD Bank (ironically, a Canadian institution), filming a TV commercial. The stars, as you can clearly see, were famed talks show hosts Regis Philbin, and Kelly Ripa!

This is a shot from our spot on the sidewalk, well behind the protection of the burly, menacing security staff.

 We also ran into Regis on another occasion just outside of Times Square, and he actually asked me NOT to take pictures please. Had he already seen THIS one???

Please, ask permission if you plan on using it anywhere...

Chow for now!

Wat'cha Got Cookin'?

Bad enough I have problems reading my watch, now I can't even seem to figure out how a calendar works!

My latest column for REM starts off with a little dissertation about "the end of summer", even though I am pretty sure August is still considered a summer month outside of Canada.

So, while I regroup and try to learn the basic seasons - please ignore my lamentations (ahead of schedule) regarding the end of summer, and enjoy my little ditty about Fun With The Barbecue:

http://www.remonline.com/home/?p=9428

Chow for now!!

Chicken Scratch

(posted by weekend guest blogger Charlie “I-Want-To-PUMP-You-UP” Chicken...)

Howdy, hoomans!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Well, I koodnt find any stastitiks online, cause I got bored after searchin’ fer a few minutes - but I know exursize videos makes big bucks. So, now ole Charlie is gonna git his piesa THAT pie!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Yessir, I’m currently filmin’ Charlie’s “Bunsa Steel” - where I share my “secrets” fer transformin’ jiggle inta perky wiggle. By followin‘ ma tested formula fer success, it won’t be long before ya have a taut tush, and about $19.99 less in yer wallet. If ya call before midnite, I’ll even throw in this here aluminum foil...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Now, I will admit I ain’t exactly a well-known sellebirdy like Jane Fonda, or action here-o Chuckles Norris. But as I got certin habits that need funds ta be able ta enjoy, mother has become the invention uv necessity. Hence, “Bunsa Steel”. Lookit that tusha mine - go ahead - I know ya wanna...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

So, I’m workin‘ out tha details a this program as I go along, but I guarantee that by perchasin‘ a copy of this DVD, you will definitely feel lighter right away - even if it is by just a few measly dollars, which you’d fritter away on crap like medication anyways...

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

So, trust me on this one - you will never see a more amazin‘ product than Charlie’s “Bunsa Steel”, so don’t hesit-eight. Send a e-mail TADAY, an I will promise to send ya one a these videos as soon as I get it finished. 

In that meantime, ta prepare, try squeezin‘ yer cheeks tagether several times. Remember - breathe

Charlie out!

Cluck fer now....

Mysterious Ways (or, “Holy Intervention, Batman!!”)

Well well well...

After succumbing to 2 years of frustration yesterday regarding the current course of our life, I broke from tradition in this space, and posted a rant. Specifically, a call-out, I guess you could say. I was not happy with my Higher Power.

Well, today, when I went to post my Twitter Tweet, something downright inexplicable happened. I saw it, and (thankfully) Mrs. That Dan Guy saw it. If you can see it too, please let me know.

At the end of the word “fit”, instead of a “t”, a cross appeared. I kid you not - a freakin’ cross. I don’t think there’s any combination of keys, or special symbols on the keyboard that would allow for that to happen - so I would have to take that as a pretty compelling sign that even if H.P. ain’t answering prayers, he or she is indeed keeping an eye on us.

I hope other people can see it, as I’ve posted it in the photo above, and you should be able to see the actual cross in the original Tweet from earlier today, over to the right under my “Follow Me On Twitter” section. Scout’s honor, I did nothing to rig that, nor do I imagine it is even possible to rig it. And it’s only on the one word, all the other “t”’s are normal.

So, two things - for one thing, I think this puts me in pretty elite company. Not many people get direct signs from a H.P. Maybe I should try leading France, or parting a sea later this afternoon, after my nap.

Second, as this happened on my “Miracle On The Ridge” Macbook, I have to say that this further supports the decision I made to forgo betting on horses at the track, and snag this puppy.

Sorry, Mrs. That Dan Guy - the Mac is indisputably blessed...

So, enough with the griping. Onward and upward, the sun will come out tomorrow, yada yada yada...

Chow for now!!

I think it’s a natural reaction.

When you get devastating news, you want answers, even if there is no logical rhyme or reason. When you’ve spent weeks on bended knees, it becomes obvious that if there really is a higher power, he or she is off on extended holidays and doesn’t bother to check for voicemails.

No, I think it’s perfectly fine for people to believe whatever they want, but as far as we go here in the Such Is Life household, I think we are going to have to presume that we are on our own, and if there is any end to the troubles we are enduring, it is going to take Herculean efforts of our own undertaking.

What doesn’t kill you may indeed make you stronger, but the fight does eventually drain from one’s spirit after enough relentless (and frankly inexplicable) beating down.

Onward and upward, apparently...hopefully...

Chow for now...

You have to presume that the inventor of popcorn had that particular epiphany quite by accident. I don’t imagine he had a selection of vegetables, lined up by a hot stove, alternating until he finally came across just the right combination. Or maybe he did.....

Carrots?? Dang! Nope...

Peas?? FIRE!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!

Cauliflower?? What was I thinking??

Corn - Heeeey.....this stuff looks DELICIOUS! Maybe a bit of butter and salt? What do you think, Orville?? Nice bow tie, by the way...

At least, that’s how I see it going down...

Chow for now.

In another indication (to my fevered brain, at least) that Mac has the most astonishingly amazing Operating System ever, I present Exhibit S - the web browser.

Named the appropriately exotic “Safari”, once again Apple makes even the mundane task of accessing the internet a bedazzling journey, requiring pith helmets. I’ve changed my icon to a miniature image of a Land Rover Discovery, vehicles often associated with African safaris. My Discovery transports me past trivial Windows Explorer sites (ha! Explorer...how quaint...) into worlds beyond my sofa. Surfing savannahs of digital knowledge, even though Spell-Check suggests there is no such word as “savannahs”.

Yes, Safari indeed. The world, with Mac, is my oy store!!

Chow for now...

“Flawtography By Dan” - Episode #002

Paul McCartney

Mrs. That Dan Guy and I were not only fortunate enough to get tickets to see “Late Night With David Letterman” back in 2009, but the guest that historic day was none other than Sir Paul McCartney, making his first return trip to the Ed Sullivan Theatre since he performed there with The Beatles. We sat about 30 feet away from Paul friggin’ McCartney.

After the episode was taped, the audience was led outside the theatre for a special live performance over Broadway. Absolutely mind-blowing!

This is a shot from our spot on the pavement.

Please, ask permission if you plan on using it anywhere...

Chow for now!