Chicken Scratch

Oh, my achin’ noggin…and it ain't five-malt scotch this time!!

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!!

Happy Saturday, feather-deprived peeples.

Ever since I found three eggs on my doorstep a coupla weeks ago, things have gotten a little hairy around here. Especially after they cracked open, spewin’ out these chirpin’ waddlers. Now, I’m rackin’ my ample brains, tryin’ to figure out: a) why me, and b) how do I make these little chirpers shut up for five seconds???

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Still tryin’ to work out the kinks on these new additions to the chicken shack. Toilet trainin’ will have to come soon, or I’ll need to find a quick cure for my sleep-walkin’…

And eat! These chirpy tweety birds will eat anythin’ not nailed down! I haven’t bin able to find my shavin’ cream all week, and I hate to think what those sudsy bubbles are, that float by every now and then. The chicks play dumb, and it don’t seem to be much of a stretch…

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

So, after breakfast, I would normally jog for an hour, and then read some classic Dickens. Now, I’ll hafta pass on that, and run around with my little shovel and pail. I guess I could just pop the little cluckers outside. They could always huddle under the overhang – or tunnel to freedom. Or meet a coyote…

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

Aw, crap! The one with a funny complexion just fell of the kitchen counter. Shoulda at least covered the basics of wing-flappin’ before I brought them up there… Hope he didn’t bend his beak…

BUK-AAAAWK!!!!

I need a beer. It’s five o’clock somewhere!!

Cluck for now!!