Dear Santa,

Looking forward, I should probably first mention how thankful I am that Christmas 2007 was such a good year for the Such Is Life household. You rock, bearded dude!!

But it’s never too soon to get started with planning for a new year, so here are just a few items, for your consideration. You can’t say I didn’t give you plenty of notice!!

1) It would be great if you could make the grass start to grow back, where the sun seems to miss it in our backyard. I know you may not have much experience with raising things from the dead, but it would be nice if you could try and get to this one early, in time for barbeque season…
2) I would like to ask you for good health. Not for us, for Barry Manilow – for when we return to see him in Las Vegas, we’d really appreciate it if his aged carcass was onstage…
3) Again, if you could attend to this one promptly (hey, you only work one day a year –quit groaning), I would ask you to help end the writer’s strike in Hollywood, so that I don’t miss any fresh episodes of “All In The Family”.
4) Three words – Tuba Quest 2008!!
5) You know, all kidding aside, I could use some new socks, and a tie.
6) A Michael Bolton box CD set. Man…
7) Some sort of block on Mrs. That Dan Guy’s Blackberry wireless handheld, that will prevent her from beating my current high score on Brick Breaker…
8) Less vegetables, unless you’re talking potato “chips”…
9) Psychic powers, but I’d only need them long enough to pick the mega-lotto winners…
10) Finally, my best gift of all would be a lightning bolt that strikes all the programmers of Microsoft Vista, while they are lounging in their bathtubs.

Thanks in advance,

That Dan Guy

Chow for now!!